well I see she has had the CoC book out. She hasn't said anything about it yet, but its a start.
My wife is gonna look at apostate info
by 10p 64 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
maximumtool
First off, I am thrilled for you! I dont know...why do I think it is appropriate to say "congratulations!"???
You mentioned that she is reading COC? I know that after slowly acknowledging a lifetime of doubts I finally read that book. That was what sealed the deal for me...
Its kind of ironic, cause I dont have the usual JW concerns issues. While I understand what others are saying by being concerned regarding the hypocrisy and double standards of the WTBS, my doubts always laid in not believing in the flood of Noahs day, or the creation story in the bible...
But this isnt a forum about me! But I guess it is possible that she may have been not consciously acknowledging doubts for years that you have no idea what they are (sorry, I didnt read the entire thread and so you may have disclosed them half way through or something). But I saw that she is reading COC, and if she is anything like me, or alot of us, that will pretty much seal the deal...
-
10p
An update
Last night we stayed up till 2am talking. Really talking - like when you stay up all night when you are dating, and just talk for hours and hours, and share your thoughts and feelings about everything.
It's pretty much a sealed deal - she's outta there. She hasn't even really considered any 'apostate' reasoning yet. What opened her mind was the fact that witnesses are not allowed to inspect their own religion, while judging others ... and the ridiculous fear that surrounds the doubters. Its more the way I have been totally ignored by everyone (I'm a fader, not DF'ed) that got to her. Like, if her husband is so wrong, why don't the elders do something. What are they scared of - that he may be right?
So it didn't even come down to any scandal, any doctrine. Just their cult-like behaviour. Who needs to explain why 607 BCE is wrong, when all you need to do is see how unreasonable and fanatical they are?!
-
Mickey mouse
Wow 10p!
-
-
jwfacts
Its more the way I have been totally ignored by everyone
That is great news 10p. It is also what got my wife to leave. Doctrine really meant nothing to her, but to see the shocking and unloving behaviour towards me and other d/f friends made her not want to be associated with such a group.
-
10p
For those who are still following this thread ... another update.
My wife is feeling good inside. I can't believe how quickly she has let go of the fear and guilt. Where she was always a bit intellectually lazy, now she is lapping up information and digesting it like a thinking person! Her intelligence is really attractive to me! Its so nice, after all these years, to hear her say "I want to DO something with my life!"
We haven't gone through much yet. At this stage, she seems to be trying to think things through without any 'apostate' help. I think that way, she feels she hasn't been influenced by anyone else, and has just seen the light herself.
So I showed her the articles on oral sex from the Wtlib CDROM. You know what amazed even me, going down this path again? In the '83 article, in the footnote, it says "this is an amplification of ... " and then lists the two older articles, from '78 and '74. Well, the '74 article is hyperlinked, so you can just click on it, but the '78 article (Ray Franz's one) isnt linked, neither is it in the index. The only way to get to that article is to manually navigate to it. How pathetic!
I'll keep updating this thread, kinda like a blog, for those who are interested. I hope my wife will consider diarizing her thoughts, for the benefit of those who are trying to get their spouses to see the light.
But if there's one tip I could give others, its that no false doctrine, failed prophecy or scandal will get through (at least not to a person like my wife). Logic doesn't penetrate.
Have a good one! -
sass_my_frass
Glad that you both sound so happy! Keep reminding her how much you love her - be extra-sweet for a little while. Keep her reminded that you're her greatest ally.
-
TheListener
10p, this thread gives me a lot of hope. Thank you and I wish you and your wife the best.
-
10p
more news
well, my wife told her mother she is questioning things. So that brought back the negative feelings and fear again. We will have to wait and see how her mother reacts. They didn't have a chance to talk much, and her mother didn't really say much.
So a little step backwards in a way, because now she is a bit scared again, and questioning herself if she's doing the right thing by questioning the society.
But she is actually more actively searching now, though, so I think its kind of brought things more to a head. She is actually reading CoC and reading up about JWs on wikipedia.
So I guess its all good ... It just made me feel a little odd though, like being reminded that I'm still the enemy, until she has proved in her head that it IS a cult. Its nowhere near as bad as that, because we are still very close and our relationship is good. But when she told me she'd spoken to her mother, I felt weird, and the only logical explanation for that feeling that I could come up with is that. Its funny sometimes how you can feel things without really knowing why you feel that way!
