Razhor - yes, what ynot said. Sometimes it is necessary to run away or quietly leave in order to get some breathing space, to take a break from being constantly hounded by dubs who don't even know you, from the constant conflict within one's family - to figure things out on our own terms. When the dubs are on a mission to re-establish contact with you - well, they are pretty determined and quite invasive. I think we have the right to remove ourselves from their vacinity for the sake of our own sanity and general well being. They seem like pretty good reasons to disappear for a while to me.
how many wanted to just run away?...disappear?....after....
by oompa 38 Replies latest jw friends
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justhuman
I feel I wanna run, I want to turn down the walls that hold me inside...After being disfellowshiped I had to leave house. It was a hell, with shoutings all the time. It wasn't healthy enviroment for the kids. The only reason I'm staying in the same town is my kids. I have to be next to them and give show them the other side of the coin. I will not accept, at least without a fight, to be brainwashed by their "faithfull" mother.
That is my only concern, otherwise I would have left the country to start a new life
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DJ_Q
I never wanted to run away. I just never felt I was good enough to be a part of the organization. To this day it still hurts just to pass by a Kingdom Hall, or to see the people out preaching.
Maybe it was the truth, maybe it wasn't. Like many relegions, being a JW appealed to my spiritual side. I know I did not agree with everything they taught, and I know I paid the price. But when I was in, I was happy, even if it was for a short time.
I know I dont have it in me to be a true JW. Like being a Catholic priest or a minister for a church you either have the calling or you dont. My flesh was weak, and I always, without hesitation, well maybe a little hesitation, gave in to temptation. Whether it was drinking, sex, or wanting to go to college. I could never keep my self straight enough to advance in the church.
I know there are people here that are bitter or sad over being JW, and I do understand their pain. But what is conviction, I always thought it was being able to stand up for what you thought was right, whether it was or not. I did not agree with everything I was taught, but I took it on faith, just like any other relegion, you have to take some beliefs on faith alone.
Was the organization perfect, maybe, but I know for sure some of the people running it were not. In the end it was my inability to conform, and give in to temptation that did me in.
If I could go back and do things over would I do anything differently? Probably, but I would still not make it.
Anyway, thanks for listening, I had been wanting to get this off my chest for a long time now.
DJ_Q
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MeneMene
DJ_Q - Welcome to JWD. Not too many still up tonight but it will get more active in a few hours.
The way the organization is set up and controlled makes most everyone feel they are not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough. I even heard my elderly aunt say pretty much the same thing last year. She has been in most of her 88 years but is not physically able to attend meetings now for years. It is sad to see someone feel like that their whole life.
Take time to read and research. If you have not already done so please take time to read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz. It will help you feel better about yourself and where you are now with the organization.
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paybacktime19
It was 26 years later before I figured out the Bull**** no more running for me.
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DJ_Q
The problem is I am not anywhere in the organization. I haven't been to a meeting in over 13 years. I havent read a watchtower or awake in who knows how long, the only book I still have is my bible.
I still feel guilty going to any other church so I just dont go. I know I should just let it go, but I cant.
Maybe, if Jehovah really truly loves us all, and he really is a good as they say he is, he will forgive my weakness.
DJ_Q
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Lady Zombie
I just got really really angry. I actually contemplated severely vandalizing local KHs at one point. I didn't because I figured out that no matter what you do, the JWs "are always right."
If you attack them, it means they have the truth and this is the persecution Jesus said would happen to those who follow him.
If you don't attack them and just ignore them, it means they have the truth and you're under Satan's control, otherwise you would listen to them. They'll look at you smugly because they think you'll be bird food "very soon."
If you speak your views, you're an apostate because they're "right and have the truth."
You can't win.
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Devilsnok
I ran away and disapeared from everyone when I wanted to fade away.
I knew that I'd give in and go back to the meetings if someone bothered to find out why I was missing so I had to do a runner. I transferred jobs and moved to London to hide, met an Australian girl and ended up going off to Oz with her for nearly a year just because I wanted to get as far away from the truth and anyone in it as possible.
I think I might have won the "who ran away the furthest" contest in here.
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Quirky1
Yes, I have almost done it several times but I keep holding on. It would be difficult for me to leave my children. Even tho one has mentioned going where I go. I just wanted to run away and start anew. Sometimes I still feel this way.
Even before my departure from the JW's I wanted to trasnfer or find a new job elsewhere. I figured this would be the only way my wife would be able to get away from the cult.
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oompa
Guys I had such a bad weekend, I even fell off of JWD! and that just dont happen folks! so today I see all these posts here, when I thought the thread was DOA! I have not finished the first page, but YA!!.....i see once again i am not alone in things. many posts i will reply to, many good comments imo...but first...
Jagbass though really hit me with this one:
It was and is upsetting to realize life has no purpose or meaning.
The Wactower told us how wrong and bad everyoneelse was and now we see there are just a few old wizards,buzzards, in brooklyn behind the curtain.
But where you gonna run? And when you get there. there you are, you're still you. And everything is still the same, a world with no meaning or purpose. One big clusterfuxs.
Yeah, this may be a part of it i did not even realize! I am depressed, thought it was just the weird marriage thing with wife and son in so big, but I also feel kind of lost....like i dont know what to do anymore.....i have lost a lot of interest in things, which i know is depression too, but something realy BIG is missing now in my life....that faith and the life and friends that go with it was EVERYTHING!...........oompa