What was the most laughable JW teaching?? (page 6)

amama2six

Oh, I thought Jehovah was just going to rain the balls down on us from heaven...like Manna. :P But then I guess the popped ones would end up in a dump somewhere, unable to decompose. Well I guess Jehovah can take care of that too.

This reminds me of watching the Teletubbies with my kids. Perfect green grass...plastic-like flowers...bunnies...bouncy balls...and a bunch of weirdos running around being WAY too happy! :D

witnessgirl

Oooo, good call. Teletubbies seems a lot like the Paradise Earth.

I wonder, with Jehovah modifying the teeth and digestive systems of all these formerly carnivorous animals, wouldn't the food chain be significantly disrupted? But I guess Jehovah will handle that somehow. I've just never seen it explained in the literature and have wondered about it before.

Incidentally, I did the Armageddon body count math, and each JW is going to be cleaning up about 1,000 dead bodies of the worldly people. I seem to recall reading that this is supposed to be done in the space of a week. I remember having nightmares (as an adult, no less) about having to pick up and drag off all the bloated decomposing bodies of my friends and relatives.

Something else about the Paradise Earth that I was definitely not looking forward to was having to wear a skirt all the time while picking apples standing on a ladder, working in the garden, hiking in the mountains, cleaning up dead bodies, etc.

Devilsnok

Don't know if this can be classed as a JW teaching as such but as I've never heard anyone from another religion mention it it might be...

When you're little being told that if you're bad Jehovah will send a "she-bear" to come and rip you up. Laughable today but when you are six its terrifying. I can remember running past the bushes in the car park outside the hall because I was convinced there was a she-bear waiting for me behind them.

DJK

Armaggedon, resurrection and paradise.

still-fading

I've got 3 that come to mind immediately.

Disfellowshipping is a loving provision along with the saying, doing it to "shock them to their senses." They alienate, shun, and break up families under the false pretence of keeping the cong clean. More like they don't want to lose control so scare active members, "this could be you if you slip up."

Next is service is a command from J. If I remember Jesus said "go... and make disciples." I don't remember him saying, go and make disciples only after you've been deemed worthy by a panel of 3 and then report every second to a publishing company and you can only say exactly what we tell you to say.

Lastly is J is so loving for creating us with "freewill" so we can choose to serve him. So in reality we have freewill as a gift but if we use freewill we will be destroyed. How crazy is that?

sullengirl0108

For me it's a few things...

1) Any crazy explanation they have for not celebrating any holiday or birthday.

2) 144,000 people get to go to heaven and thats it.

3) Their whole take on higher education

The fact that they call themselves the truth. I asked an elder one time where he gets off calling it the truth when there are about 100 billion people out there who believe their religion is the truth too. He said...and I quote "It just is"

Thanks!

beerose

If you look at another other than your spouse you have already commited adultery in your heart or mind?So what now we can't even look at God's beautiful creations and ejoy the beauty of it,how stupid!

james_woods

I once asked a C.O. (I guess I was pretty much out by this time - and was just razzing him a little) this question:

If the paradise earth is supposed to last forever, then what is going to happen when the sun runs out of it's hydrogen-helium cycle and expands out well into earth orbit to be a red giant?

He said - well, Jehovah will at that point reset the sun and make it immortal.

I said - well, then why didn't he make it immortal the first time? After all, Adam & Eve were supposed to live here forever back then, and God didn't know they were going to sin.

sullengirl0108

RESET THE SUN?????

LOL!

I'm sorry that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life! Man, these people just don't know what the eff they are even saying do they!

jaguarbass

For me it was we couldnt eat Milky ways, Sneakers or Mars bars when I was a kid in the 60's.

What was the most laughable JW teaching??

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