So yes, the brothers came for "encouragement" and of course, my husband is out of town on business... so it was me and the kids.
SO i did let them in, i like these brothers...These are some things we discussed...
1. I went over how that stupid "obey" email got all this started, got me to divulge to my girlfriend how i was feeling about the whole religion. About how at the end of the call she said that she can't associate with me anymore, and then RIGHT after that call/ 30seconds later while i'm crying a pioneer called and asked "do you consider yourself one of Jeh witnesses anymore??" and i thought that was CRAZY for someone to try to trap me when i was sitting crying on the phone, upset with the last call... i told them that for all purposes i am already DFed since NOONE will talk to me anymore, and only one friend called to see what happened, everyone else just listened to the GOSSIP of whatever spread, and wrote me off even though i'm technically in GOOD STANDING. I let them know this was making me SICK to lose all my friends over the past month and now i'm in therapy.
2. We talked about the bookstudy change, and how it goes against everything I was taught since i came in the truth... and it's hard to swallow. they went thru a good 4 points as to why its "good" in their eyes... i can asnwer as to their reasoning if anyone wants to know....
3. I told them outright that i do NOT believe this anymore. I do NOT believe in the "faithful and discreet slave" i do NOT believe it's spirit directed. I told them i do believe in God, Jesus, the bible, but thats all i have in common now.
4. I then went over the fact that it's a cult. I told them when you see a list of 100 facts that make a group a cult, we do 99 of them- the one we leave out is we dont PHYSICALLY abuse our members. They loved this. First answer they had was "do you know the definition of a cult? it had to have ONE leader, therefore we cant be a cult. Then the other brother told me that the apostles were accused of being in a sect, and it was a good thing. They kept talking aobut how "YOU KNOW ITS JEH's DIRECTION because of all the wonderful clean up efforts after disasters, how the redcross comes in AFTER the witnesses.. and finds witnesses to know whats going on. about how we rebuild brothers houses at no cost to the brothers"... therefore, i had to bring up the cult issue. Of COURSE people in a cult take care of each other- that's why they feel special and stay in.
5. I actually brought up the whole idea of the fact that when Jesus came for the inspection in 1919- which i believed when it was, they said "no it was 1914" that the teachings we were teaching then were SO off base, there is NO way we could have been appointed as gods mouthpiece. I told him as a witness, you never think about what we could have been teaching back then, but just accept that we were "chosen"- there was no way we could have been chosen. they also FOUGHT that we knew the date "1914 as end of gentile times" since everything started in 18XX whatever year... i said NO, we thought jesus had come in 1874 ( i thought it was) and by 1919, 1914, we weren't looking for him... they said, NO.
6. I told them that i'm in a bad spot now because there is NO way to leave gracefully. That was the term i used. I said that if you feel the need to DF me i will DA, i'm not going to go thru that. Now i have to admit, these guys are GOOD people, and i told them i love everyone in, its not an issue of that. They basically told me NOT to DA, that there are groups of people that just dont attend that are "inactive" and i could do that. I told them the difference with someone "inactive" is that they still believe it's the truth, and i DO NOT. they still were supportive of letting me fade, which is amazing. They did say several times that you cant be on the fence though.
7. They then stressed that we are the ONLY ones doing the preaching work, and that is what the bible is all a bout. I said there are actually lots of religions that go preaching. They said 'but we are the only ones organized".... so they asked for it. I said "do you think that the other religions just shoot people out of a cannon and preach to whomever they find when they land? you dont think it would be organized??" They kept making the point OVER AND OVER that then "where would you go? cuz if you can show us another religion that is doing the preaching work, and shows love among themselves.. we'll go there". YA.
8. I told them that i completely disagree with the idea that your NOT supposed to investigate your own religion from the outside. i explained that any school i would send my kids to, even resturants have the "score" from the health department on the wall, to show from an OUTSIDERS view whats going on. its for our protection. They kept STRESSING " WHAT ARE THEIR MOTIVES????" i said, 'if they say something negitive, it cant be true cuz then it's from satan?" They said i should read the proclaimers book and it shows all their faults. I said i've seen the book and i have found many that arent in there.
Sorry this is so long, i needed to vent. Even though these elders were very supportive of letting me fade,even after all i said was amazing. I realize that they now are going to report back.. and we'll see how nice the WHOLE body is.
I was shaking and sweaty the whole time, but yet, i wasn't scared. I realized i've already lost my religion, lost my friends, and these poor guys are in a cult.
ANy ideas how it will go when they report back? I'm really ok with any outcome. i'm glad husband wasn't here because it gave me a chance to stand up for myself completely on my own. I kept going over "what will i say if i see them?" in my head, and i think i was prepared enough.
Thanks for listening!