Please Share Your Demon Experiences, Hearsay or Incredible Stories

by minimus 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  mind my own

  I remember getting a bag of second hand clothes from a family in the cong that wasn't doing very well. Shortly after that our family began having "demon problems" and my mom made me get rid of the clothes b/c they were demonized. Uh huh.

  We also had to get rid of our original house key b/c the elders and my parents decided that the previous owners of our house were having sayonces (sorry, I cannot spell this word!) in our basement and that accounted for the severe problems we were having as a family. I remember thinking at the time this was the most crazy thing I had ever heard. Wouldn't the whole house be affected, not just the key??? Getting rid of the key would solve our problems? The problem was that my mom is a lunatic and my parents were having marital problems b/c the only reason they stayed together was b/c of the religeon (parents admitted this to me).

  I can't even believe the crap that the JW's are willing to believe!

  MMO
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  mind my own

  Oh ya and my smurfs were all demonized too!
• 

  Not Feeling It

  (Deleted post, sorry. posted from my phone & this site won't keep correct formatting. I'll post again when I get to my computer)

  I hope you post it back. It was amusing and insightful.

  // my phone doesn't allow formatting (even carriage returns) regardless of what I select in the posting menu either. Whatever, I still let it fly. Worst case, no one reads what I say. Boo hoo.
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  KW13

  i wont share a negative one but a funny one lol.

  i hid under my ma's bed and made spooky noises. she wasnt too happy, infact she yelled out 'whats that jehovah' lmao! she'd not woken up, she'd literally just got in at that point.
• 

  Galileo

  I hope you post it back. It was amusing and insightful.

  // my phone doesn't allow formatting (even carriage returns) regardless of what I select in the posting menu either. Whatever, I still let it fly. Worst case, no one reads what I say. Boo hoo.

  Thank you! Wow, it was only posted for around a minute or so. I'm glad someone shares my sense of humor. I cracked myself up writing it. I'm tempted to expand it into a full blown short story. I'm home now, so I'll repost it.
• 

  Galileo

  Ahh, the life of a demon;

  "Hey, Demon Bill, I'm gonna float over to the Victoria's Secret and watch the women changing clothes. You want to come?"

  "Wow, that sounds awesome, but I can't. I gotta hover around this book in Goodwill until somebody buys it."

  "That sounds really boring! How long have you been doing that?"

  "Twenty six years. I guess there isn't a lot of demand for the Cheryl Ladd workout these days. But sooner or later, somebody's gonna buy it, and boy, that will be sweet!"

  "Oh yeah? Well after twenty six years of plotting, I imagine you have some terrifyingly ghoulish horrors in store for that unfortunate soul! I'm getting chills just thinking about it!"

  "You aren't kidding Bob! First I thought I'd make some noises in the attic that sound vaguely like footsteps. Then I'm gonna wake them from a deep sleep by whispering!"

  "Uh, OK... I'm not sure I follow. What will that accomplish?"

  "They will be mildly put out!! Can you imagine?! They're trying to put in a full days work, but they can't concentrate, because they didn't get a full night's sleep! Ooh, I'M SO EVIL!"

  "Well, OK, I guess that's pretty evil. Well, I'm gonna take off. Say, have you seen Frank lately?"

  "Last I heard he's been hovering over a sweater in The Salvation Army since Nineteen Fifty-Three."

  "Oh yeah, that's right. Well, good luck. Hey, just out of curiosity, why don't you just pick someone at random instead of hanging around this book?"

  "We can do that? I thought we couldn't go into someone's home unless we were invited."

  "No, Bill, you're thinking of vampires. You dummy! Vampires aren't even real..."
• 

  Layla33

  This is a funny one: Real late one night I had to go to the bathroom and I was too lazy to switch on the light. Getting to the bathroom was fine, but coming back, I accidently went into my brothers bedroom.

  All I heard was "Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah". I laughed so hard, I literally was crying. Just to hear my brothers voice saying it, like this name was going to mean anything, still causes me to giggle to myself.
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  delilah

  i hid under my ma's bed and made spooky noises. she wasnt too happy, infact she yelled out 'whats that jehovah' lmao! she'd not woken up, she'd literally just got in at that point.

  Now that's funny KW....
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  KW13

  Now that's funny KW....

  well ya know me hope your alreet btw D', not seen you around for a while but saying that, i've not been here much either
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  DaCheech

  in the town of my birth (foreign country) one day during a patron saint procession, it is said that (saint thingy that 4 people hold) it fell down from the 4 people, and the thingy (statue holder) picked itself up and moved itself down the street to the sanctuary