So Farkel, how did you know me at 16 falling for this pathetic religion? You basically told my story except for the wife that begged me to stop going.
Steve Gordon - A Dark Tale
by Farkel 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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journey-on
This entire tale takes place at Steve's baptism. Baptism into what? As he sits there slightly damp from the dunk,
you eavesdrop on his developing depression. You just KNOW this is where he is headed...just like the other adult
getting baptized is already there. Memories and doubts are already popping up as he surrenders what little life he
has left to "Jehovah" (WTS). His life is forever changed.
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wednesday
Cognitive Dissonance, sounds like he was already experiencing it as he was about to be baptized. He could see , but he'd given up so much already it was too late to turn back now.
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Doug Mason
Farkel, welcome to the discipline of writing.
Before a writer begins, (s)he has “the big idea” they want to get across to the reader. To achieve this, the writer breaks this Big Idea into its constituent parts, and presents them as logically as possible.
The writer decides on the vehicle (factual analysis, parable, narrative, etc.). (S)he also envisages the intended audience: their existing knowledge, grasp of language, and so on.
When a reader goes through the constituent parts of the article, they create their own “big idea”, one that is influenced by their own life experiences, prejudices, and so on. Invariably, each reader’s constructed “big idea” is unique to them. There is nothing wrong in this, unless the writer is a dictator, such as “certain people” in Brooklyn.
When the writer complains that no reader has found the point (s)he was making, then the writer has failed to communicate. The writer has failed the reader.
There is real reason we are taught to structure our writing as: intro (“tell them what you are going to tell them”), the body (“tell them”), followed by a summary and perhaps a conclusion (“tell them what you have told them”). Keep sentences direct and simple.
I use a couple of tools that help the reader understand my main points.
Firstly, I use headings and subheadings. This alerts the reader to the point about to be made and should also help the reader understand the logic of the material.
Secondly, I use diagrams that support the content. As an example, see my latest piece at: http://au.geocities.com/doug_mason1940/Blood_and_the_Sacredness_of_Life.pdf
As I said, if no reader found the point you are trying to make, you must ask yourself why you failed. If your writing stimulated thoughts that you had not envisaged, enjoy the pleasure.
Doug
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journey-on
There is real reason we are taught to structure our writing as: intro (“tell them what you are going to tell them”), the body (“tell them”), followed by a summary and perhaps a conclusion (“tell them what you have told them”). Keep sentences direct and simple.
Doug Mason.....I'm not sure this would apply to a fictional tale, however.
Farkel, you may not have intended this, but I also got some "vibes" from your story that reminded me of the theme of the new Batman movie "Dark Knight", in that
good can sometimes blur into evil. The way you painted the organization as going overboard with their "good" intentions to the point the good turns "evil" in its final
analysis reminded me of this, plus the name "Gordon" as the main character (a character's name in the movie). As I said, I found many layers to reflect upon, and, imo, whether
I've hit upon the theme you wanted discussed or not, I got a great deal out of this short tale.
Edited...what the heck happened to the formatting?
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Sirona
After his baptism, the story has the speaker telling him things which are all true...
Presumably things which were never said before he got baptised.
Sirona
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hillary_step
Doug,
There is real reason we are taught to structure our writing as: intro (“tell them what you are going to tell them”), the body (“tell them”), followed by a summary and perhaps a conclusion (“tell them what you have told them”). Keep sentences direct and simple.
As Journey On correctly pointed out, this is not so with creative writing.
But thanks for the lesson.
HS
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OUTLAW
Farkel..The common thread I see in your story..Is a man who continuously gave up thinking for himself..And..Will probably do so for the rest of his life,as a JW....If I`m wrong,throw me a bone..I may be someone,who needs a clue..
...OUTLAW -
Farkel
journey-on,
You got it. Shamus and a few others: you got it too. It was not necessarily about feeling bad for the victim. It was the evil that deceptively made him one. Thank you for your observations. It was rather obvious (or so I thought) and I guess I over-reacted when the first few posts "felt bad" about the victim. I apologize for that.
Thank you all for your comments, even the detractors. It all makes for lively discussion, and more importantly, lively analysis of what it is that rule most of us for a large part of our lives.
Doug Mason,
Obviously I can learn a lot from you. Please point me to your collected works so I can learn. I'm much interested in seeing how to do it "right." There is only one way to write "right", isn't there? And I'm not doing it "right", right? Please help me out. I need you.
Farkel
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shamus100
Jehovahs Witnesses have the innate ability to make one think he's pleasing god (assuming you believe in god), wheras you are in fact displeasing god. You turn your back on everything and everyone and hurt people. You are being a very selfish person when you become one of jehovahs witnesses. It makes you feel good when you have low self-esteem and are in a needy stage in your life.
Thank you Farkel, and I still love you. Well, not literally. But you are still one of my favorite posters. You have a gift, you moody bastard.
...OUTLAW