Oh man! I almost died reading this list from the private JW group on Facebook. Usually the posts there are quite nauseating, but this topic was priceless. Some of these are absolutely hilarious!!
YOU MIGHT BE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IF....
1. If "pioneer" is not a stereo, "new light" is not something in the house wares department, and "tract" has nothing to do with land or farming.
2. If you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.
3. If "Memorial Day" isn't in May.
4. If you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't even have a beer.
5. If you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same sentence.
6. If you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.
7. If you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.
8. If you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.
9. If you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.
10. If you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them.
11. If you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95-degree heat.
12. If you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.
13. If you have a shelf just for 192-page books.
14. If you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking up a pencil or highlighter too.
15. If you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study."
16. If you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties."
17. If, after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started.
18. If you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled. 19. You go out for service every day and be extremely tired at the end of the day and not complain about your job.
20. The first thing you check for in a bible is whether or not it has God's name
21. You know all the houses in your neighbourhood and know the kind of people residing in them
22. You know the history of the Catholic church better than Catholics do.
23. You know how to deal with marital problems before marriage
24. You attend 5 meetings each week
25. You prefer to spend time on the road and get tired for no paycheck
26. Every bad news report catches your attention
27. You think twice before buying clothing