I'm replying to share what I've experienced and what some people I know personally have as well.
I'm sorry, Maddie, but I cannot read this without feeling bad for you! Bad in the sense that the separation from reality feeling is within oneself, not a mystical thing. Anyone can do it ("catch it") if they really want to. I never could get myself to mentally separate from life though I wanted to very much. I had a lot of bad $hit I was dealing with.
Big Tex, in holy roller churches they call that testifying! They want you to get that stuff off your shoulders. You'd, probably, get a round of applause and a lot of amens and bless him lords with people raising their arms up to the air. You may be overcome with emotion! Then there's the rousing gospel music that gets you more into the spirit!
Totally different from being a witness. The charistmatic churches, generally speaking, don't like canned text. They want your story.
Exactly what I witnessed from about 11-20. No pun intended! My best friend was one of many. She felt better afterwards and said she needed that. I'm glad she felt better but her means were not real, even when I was a believer.
SO: I am watching a program about serial killers. One of the most prolific described the feeling that overtook him after his first murder. It's what kept him going in his killing spree of men, women, children indescriminately. Is what happened to him really any different than the feeling some of you have gotten from the holy spirit.
FHN: I can't believe that you would compare what Maddie felt to what a serial killer feels. They feel the euphoria before and during their horrid crimes, not after. After it is all done with, they feel fear of being caught and often despicable for what they have done. What Maddie felt is positive and pure and good. And she has nothing to be feeling despicable about.
Exactly, S.O. That type of feeling invokes dependency & euphoria, and keeps people coming back for more. Crack, killing, holy ghost, guilt & fear, etc.
Sorry for what you're going through. I hope your sitution improves.