Tried to fade away

Magwitch

I left my chauvanistic PO elder husband 2 1/2 years ago (after 20 years of marriage - ten of those spent pioneering as a couple). I took my two beautiful teenage daughters with me - he did not seem to care too much that we were gone. His main concern was the humiliation and aggravation of having to step down as an elder. After not going to meetings or having any association with any witnesses for over a year, I met the love of my life and have been with him for the last year. I wrote the body of elders a letter 18 months after disappearing, telling them that my ex-husband had grounds to remarry. It was a gesture of kindness on my part to him. Twelve months after writing the letter and 2 1/2 years after totally disappearing from the Fauxtower Babble and Crap Society, I find out they read an announcement last month disfellowshipping me. No committe meeting, phone call to tell me what they are up to ...nothing. I get the news from a witness relative living 60 miles away. How can they get away with this?

outofthebox

Freedom is gonna cost ya in the JW world! There is no elegant way to leave the cult.

jamiebowers

It just goes to show that no good deed goes unpunished. From what I've personally experienced and heard from others, the elders can d'f at will. Your letter told them that your husband was free to remarry, and since the new man is the love of your life, I assume you didn't offer any repentance. Believe me, people have been df'd for a lot less. Hopefully your life will be much happier now that you don't belong to a cult. Welcome JWD.

jakmarx

sounds like they used ur letter as a confession effectivly. The delay probaly came from a hesistance or clarification from bethal. Mite been going on for a bit without u knwing. it is a kind thng leting ur ex knw. I know of many that cant remarry & its horrible. It is a shame they did nt contact u. I just wunder if it wud of helped? Maybe it wud of just caused u more upset going thru a Jc etc.

A fade as im learning involves lieing a lot. U have been honest and are now seem suffering.

I hope u and ur daughters are rebuilding a happier life. It pains me 2see ths again.

LockedChaos

They need no justification

other than their own

You did the kind and brave thing

and they kicked you for it

It's over

Your out

Now the real healing begins

Don't neglect the pain and anger

It's part of the process of

removal from a cult

Ask and we all will help

But ultimately you must take the lead

in the healing process

yknot

Well since you were not 'officially' informed or engaged........

I would take it with a grain of salt. Sounds like your ex PO hubby might have been playing some revenge politics too...

Remember there are procedures to follow, any variance opens a loophole.

So officially....you are just inactive.

changeling

This is not unheard of when the person has acknowledged "wrongdoing".

Be glad you got out with your daughters.

changeling :)

garybuss

You wrote: "Twelve months after writing the letter and 2 1/2 years after totally disappearing from the Fauxtower Babble and Crap Society, I find out they read an announcement last month disfellowshipping me."

Sounds like the ex met the love of his life.

What-A-Coincidence

Don't worry about the "Kangarro Court"

Awakened at Gilead

They announced my DA without warning or advising me before or after... I found out through my wife.

I called up the elder to complain... his smug self-righteous attitude prompted me to say "F**K you" for the first time in my life...

But that was actually the best thing to happen to me... we don't recognize the authority of the org.. so let them announce what they want... it makes no difference in the real world.

Tried to fade away

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