Hi... (page 3)

Basically, in about October of 2006 I told my parents (I was still living at home at the time) that I was finished with being a Witness for the time being. I wasn't sure at the time whether I intended it to be permanent. But I had alot of nagging doubts, and I didn't think it was right how they told me to prove it to myself without letting me study anything but the Society publications. So I stopped altogether. I met with elders, one on one sort of things for about a month after that. The day after Christmas a good friend of mine was getting married. By that point I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to go back again, and wanted to have one last night of fun with all the people I had grown up with. And I did. Too much fun according to our local elders.

See..In April 2006 I had been publicly reproved for some drug/alcohol related issues. My friend was Disfellowshipped in January of 2006, for the same reasons (He was out for nine months, came back in September). The elders in our hall had made a habit out of watching us like hawks, just waiting to pull people in for every little thing. My friends went to a restaurant/bar type place one night, got jumped by a bunch of thugs...the elders pulled them all into a meeting and blamed them for it. Then they told us not to go into any bars..not even the ones that were apart of regular restaurants (places like Boston Pizza, Montanas etc.). By the time I had quit going, this whole watching us like hawks thing had just pushed me to my breaking point. I was getting counseled every time I went more than four weeks without a haircut!

So anyways, my friends wedding came around. I was drinking of course, pretty steadily throughout the night. I was feeling it, but I wasn't outright hammered. I knew the fallout from this wedding was going to be pretty bad, when an elder blatantly and falsely accused two friends of mine of concealing and drinking alcohol in my friends car. The bottle of booze they had was for the hotel room we had rented (they didn't like that either), and wasn't even unsealed. The elders wife went around to everyone still at the reception telling them that my friends were drinking in the car. The elders questioned me right then and there at the wedding.

Anyways, in the six weeks following the wedding, I had three meetings with elders..the third of which they disfellowshipped me in. They told me that some of my closest friends were not 'good associates', and that the reason I got 'so drunk' at the wedding was because I had fallen away from the congregation and quit listening to the counsel of elders. I told the one elder that his wife was a gossiping slanderer, and that he was out to get all of us because he had just been made an elder and wanted to look good for the congregation (probably not the smartest course in retrospect). The second meeting, they dragged in two kids who saw me the night of the wedding acting all hammered. I had joked with the one kid, because I said something that wasn't audible to him (while completely sober) and said "Yeah, Im drunk." (completely kidding). The elders used this as testimony that I admitted to being drunk. The second kid was an elders son...of one of the elders who was on my committee. The same one who I told that his wife was a slanderous gossiper (definetly wasn't smart now). I basically firebombed the whole thing. I knew I could have gotten out of it if I wanted to. They were trying to force me to go back to meetings. They wanted me to be repentant and prove it by attending meetings again (which by this point I hadn't done in about four months). I wasn't about to have anyone put a 'gun to my head' so to speak. I told them that the entire concept of disfellowshipping is crap, its inhumane, its cruel. Then they said that I was a danger to the congregation with that kind of talk, but somehow when they disfellowshipped me it was all about me being drunk at the wedding. They made their decision, I got up, i walked out..haven't seen them since.

I've had a few friends on the inside still talk to me since. At the same time I was being disfellowshipped (in about February 2007) I met a girl and it went well..so well in fact that about a year after (February 2008)..I married her. Best thing I did since getting out of the JW.

My parents have pretty much shunned me which was unexpected.. In April of this year, they moved to Alberta. I've had precisely one conversation with my mother since then. They even came back just last weekend...and acted like I didn't even exist. No phonecall, no visit, nothing. I figured i wouldn't see them very much, but I didn't think they would go full on hardcore with the shunning. I was wrong. And I think that's about the only thing that hurts about this whole thing. Other than that, Im glad I left...and reading the stories from people on this board, makes me feel like Im not totally alone. My wife has been wonderful through the whole thing. She's stuck by me even though I've been pretty messed up sometimes. Its the one consolation I have, is that I never have to go through it alone.

Hope to get to know some of you. Its good to be free from it...but it sure has cost me.

sacolton

You are with friends here. Welcome aboard!

Diva

Hi Ragehr and welcome! I'm a Newbie too, it's pretty nervewracking doing your first post, but it's worth it as you will get a lot of support here.

Thanks for your story. I hate the whole shunning thing- I've been getting pressure from my missionary sister to stop talking to our litle sister who was disfellowshipped last year, but I'm still talking to her and I've no intention to stop!

Hi...

Amha·aret

LovesDubs

Not Feeling It

LockedChaos

Regehr

sacolton

Diva

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Amha·aret