Loneliness

by B_Deserter 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Aculama

  Dear Loneliness,

  I think the best way to meet people is by doing things that are fun for you personally. You already know up front that the other people who are participating have something in common with you. Don't limmit yourself to romantic relationships; sometimes friends will introduce you to a person that is perfect for you. I married one of my best friend's sister. ( When someone interveiws for a job they ask for references.) This way your friend can give you an honest opinion and history of the person before you even meet them. This is much safer, not to mention that if you belong to the same network of friends there is instant accountability. Look for shows, conventions, club meetings that are open to the public, music classes, art classes, fan clubs, ect. Just don't look in a place that is just not you ( for instance, you wouldn't pick up a date at a Star Trek convention unless you want to learn to speak Klingon ) . God bless you, and I hope He leads you to your perfect soul-mate.

  Aculama
• 

  mouthy

  how did you do it? I didnt but my daughter joined a dancing ( square ) & met this guy Bill they have been happily married for 13 years.
  Also MANY OF THE CHURCHES HAVE SINGLES GROUPS THEY DONT TALK ABOUT WORSHIP IN THEM. TRY THAT.
  The dog thing sounds great to. but that costs alot....I know a few that had internet meeting >Not usually a good thing.Beware...
• 

  bluesbreaker59

  I did this personal ad bit for a while myself and must tell you, there are some real wacko's out there. Some women are just out to score a free ride for a while, not all of course, some are wonderful. Of course I've heard from my lady friends that some guys are just out to get laid too... so it goes both ways. I just find that alot of those out there are truly some of the worst... Once I started looking for my friends to set me up or just meeting them on my own it was much better.
• 

  Junction-Guy

  And phone dating is for the birds.
• 

  Locutus of Borg

  I met Mrs LoB through a personal ad in a singles magazine in Boston 20 years ago this spring. The best single thing I've ever done in my life.

  I loved the clubs, dancing, and bars, just got really tired of the shallowness, cokeheads and one nighters.

  Do it, be careful.
• 

  iceguy

  I want to meet some of the Babes on this forum!
• 

  Vinny

  I know many people that met at match.com, including a couple soon to be married. You should be very selective and proceed cautiously from what I have heard. But for God's sakes there are thousands of people LOOKING for companionship and will tell you a little about themselves. I am happily married. But if I was single, there is no doubt I would start looking there. You can expand your zip code search as far as you are comfortable, which only increases the number of profiles along the way.
  
  E-Harmony has an even better reputation. But Match.com is loaded with lonely folks looking just for you.
• 

  B_Deserter

  I've heard a lot of bad things about eHarmony. They're famous for not letting you cancel, and will keep billing you even after you request a cancellation.
• 

  JK666

  B_D,

  The Flipper's got together on eHarmony, and recommend it highly. Ask them about it.

  JK

  P.S. Good luck on your date tonight. We want a full disclosure later, dude!
• 

  Texman55

  My time in the Borg left me socially retarded.....hell maybe I still am lol.....so I'll share what I learned about the search with ya, even though I'm gay and your probably not.

  You can indeed meet somebody wonderful online, I did. But it takes lots and lots of looking and waiting and trying. Dont be fooled by the "oh gee this is so totally great we can talk about anything all night long" syndrome......that happens quite often online.......but take it slow, meet in public several times and realize that reality and online are often different. Sometimes a helluva lot different.

  You can also meet somebody wonderful in a nightclub, but if you aren't the party-guy, extrovert type, and why else would you be asking the question, then it takes many, many nights of looking and standing around sipping expensive drinks and going home feeling like shit because you didn't meet anybody that night. I was never any good at that.

  At least with the internet, you can wear your old sweaty gym shorts and sip cheap beer in comfort at home, lol.

  The best way is to meet somebody thru a mutual friend or a group you both belong to. There's no substitute for 1 on 1 face to face contact. It would be good if you found a group where the activity is NOT focused on dating/romance/sex, because then you can stay in your comfort zone.....until you feel the magnetism with someone.

  Maybe a bowling league or a sports club would work for ya. Or a volunteer outfit. I met my first bigtime lover when we both were volunteers in training for a suicide hotline.

  The most important thing is, don't be desperate. People can see it and smell it on you, and they will run like heck to get away. I know it's hard to do when you really are desperate.....lol.....but strain every nerve to ACT like you really could care less, "hey I'm just here for the ride"......laugh, relax, enjoy yourself. put on that "gee I'm just so damn glad to be ringing frigging doorbells at 9:30 on a Saturday morning " smile and fake it till you make it, bro.

  Not a guaranteed thing....might still take a long time.....and even after you find somebody special and sign the mortgage together, it can still all go down the tubes later on.......life is what it is......you pays your money and you takes your chances........but hope some of this is helpful buddy. Good luck to ya.