Remembering Danny

by purplesofa 42 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  milliemootoo

  My heart too goes out to everyone that has lost someone by suicide, I lost my Mum to suicide 3 months ago. My Dad is struggling with Depression and the feelings of wanting to join my Mum.

  It is heartbreaking as we are struggling coming to terms with the fact Mum has gone and clinging on to Dad for him to stay with us but I know that he has to want to be here and to try over time to make a life for himself. My sister is full on trying to make him go back to meetings and if it is what he wants and it will keep him with us I would be happy.

  But anyway enough about me, my thoughts are with you xxxxx
• 

  Dagney

  Purps, Big Tex, everyone...

  I am so sorry.... no words...

  Light a candle.
• 

  purplesofa

  Still thinking about Big D.

  Hope you are doing ok.

  purps
• 

  BIG D

  Thanks, purps,

  i know that i am not the only one who hurts or who has hard times, it keeps me from being so hopeless,in my years of bein a witness some scriptures still help, romans helps, i know that i did my best, i told him i loved him every day, and i hug and kiss all my boys daily, they dont like it, or so they say, but they all know daddy loves them, i know he did too, he left me a note and told me so, life never works out like i think it will, its so wierd, but i go on and i still smile and give big hugs to my twins, and i think of him, i keep him in my heart , a little piece of it gone now, but enough for me to live on, some days i still fall to pieces, they fall all around me, i pick them up and reattach them, and sometimes they fall off again, i reattch them again , not always in the right place though, iam hoping someday they will be, love to all moms and dads, only you know how it feels to raise a your babies.

  big d
• 

  Xandria

  It is never easy and you can play what if's until the sun swallows the earth. Just don't blame yourself, beating yourself up for something you cannot control. I lost 2 people myself and no matter what I did, it wasn't enough. I had to realize that this was a darkness that ate at them and they had the power, even though they felt powerless. Some can get past that darkness and others just cannot. All any of us can do, is take this day by day, one day at a time, and be there as best as we can.

  X.
• 

  eyeslice

  purplesofa - I hope and wish for peace for you and your family.

  Perhaps what the sentiments of the song should do is to help us live each day in hope together with an attitude of respect and peace for our family, friends and neighbours.

  May peace be with you.
• 

  BIG D

  sometimes i feel so hollow, like i am not really a person anymore, just a shell that walks and talks, i hope i am not feeling the way my son did, i know its kinda normal to be grieving but it feels so all consuming

  big d
• 

  Jringe01

  "...this was a darkness that ate at them and they had the power, even though they felt powerless. Some can get past that darkness and others just cannot."

  I keep telling myself not to read threads that deal with suicide but here I am...

  Xandria's statement is right on. Speaking as someone who came very close to ending his life, it is a darkness, like a huge. black storm cloud...but there is no end in sight.

  You know that if you go thru with it you'll hurt the ones you love...but it becomes like an abstract fact, a peice of trivia. When things are that dark all you can think about is how alone you are, how no one really loves you, how much pain there is and how much you want it to go away...but it won't. Like being in the JW's these dark thoughts isolate you, making most people unable to really reach out and seek help.

  I lived like that for months and to this day I'm not sure why I didn't go thru with it. Not a week goes by where I don't wonder if I should have gone thru with it.

  I hope this doesn't upset anyone and i didn't mean to hijack the thread...but it's good to try and vocalize my feelings especially after reading the thoughts of those directly affected by suicide. It helps make the thoughts less abstract.
• 

  purplesofa

  sometimes i feel so hollow, like i am not really a person anymore, just a shell that walks and talks, i hope i am not feeling the way my son did, i know its kinda normal to be grieving but it feels so all consuming

  big d

  I am sorry I never got back to this thread, Big D, maybe some grief counselling will help you. I took myself and kids to a grief counselor after my stepdad commited suicide and it really helped us all. Thinking of you,

  purps
• 

  mouthy

  Purps (((HUGS)))... So sorry to read this. Also BigD my heart aches for you.... I agree it is the folks left that suffer ,but I do believe they are where there is no pain,no tears, no suffering. My God is a loving & an forgiving GOD

  As I say, it's a helluva thing to live with. Yes I agree I had a fellow next door to me who wanted me to go into his home ( alone) after I had helped him when he was on the street drunk with a broken foot. ( The day before)Being a faithful JW I didnt want to give the appearance of evil ?????? So I refused. He hung himself same day!!! I feel responsable