Hi Chrissy, falling into the borg at a young age and staying all through my teens really messed me up socially, so I can relate to what you're saying.
When they said "avoid worldly associations," well I took that very much to heart....dropped the friends I had....stopped trying to make new ones at school....either made do with the relatively few kids my age at the KH or did without. I remember lots and lots of hours and days and nights sitting home alone. After I left the borg, I eventually got better, but I'm still basically shy and wary about meeting new people, underneath.
If you and your hubby have been out for 8 years and you still find it really hard to make friends, then it might be healthy to break the pattern, get out of the rut. Take a class, join a club; make it something low stress and interesting to you so you can stay in your comfort zone. Do something new, but not too scary, even just once a month; plan for it. And don't go into it thinking you just have to make friends with everybody.....just get used to the idea of being around new and different people without having to have a certain outcome.
It's a drawback though, if you are still thinking "well we are good people and everybody else is bad and doomed to destruction." That's a hangover from WT thought control, which was designed to keep you isolated and dependent on the borg all the time. Let go of that attitude, if you still have it. Now don't go handing your car keys to a thug on the sidewalk either lol....use common sense.....but just recognize the profound truth that all human beings, including me and the two of you, are a mixture of both good and evil; and be open to seeing the good parts in others.
In my lifetime, language, clothing, manners have all tended to get more lax, and often more rude/crude....and i plead guilty to going along with some of all that. But it's whats in the heart that really counts, and how you treat your fellow man. Not following all the rules perfectly. Certainly, there are still plenty of "good" moral, conservative people around.....maybe not quite as conservative as the locked-in-concrete JW's.......but lots of churches offer friendly, "nice" social opportunities, even for nonmembers.
I'm not advising you join a church because that's not where I'm at now.....but I do wonder if this social problem you have is a symptom of a longing for a 'spiritual' home too? I think there is a spiritual side of life....I'm not prepared to define just what that is for anyone else these days....for some it might be artistic or philosophic or athletic rather than "religious"......there's lots of spiritual avenues to choose from if thats really what you want....but you're the only ones who can decide that.
Finally....didn't mean to run on here.....if none of the above work, or if you find it all just too scary to try....then perhaps you might think about seeing a counselor or therapist for some short-term counseling. If money is a problem, most counties have at least one public mental health center where you can get services on a sliding-scale basis, or even for free; and so do some private non-profit centers. Doesn't mean you're sick or anything like that.....but a trained counselor will help you look at what might be blocking you and how you might get around the blockage. Therapy is not magic, won't turn you into something you're not....but might help you see something you can't yet see about yourselves. Just a suggestion.
I remember the hard transition from being isolated and alone....to learning to relate to "normal" people "normally" again....so my heart goes out to you. Just take it a step at the time and remember what my mother always said....to have a friend, you have to be a friend. Good luck to you both.