Parents with JW Adult Children Shunning Them

flipper

I do understand your plight - as I have 2 adult JW daughters shunning me aged 21 and almost 20. They married witness boys 2 years ago and it's been 1 year since I've spoke with my younger daughter, 5 months since I went to coffee with my older daughter. I call them, but they won't return my calls. I tell them I love them, but it's as if I don't exist. I was a very involved father raising them up as teenagers in the witnesses- but since I left the witnesses 5 years ago and stopped going to meetings being inactive - they look at me as bad association I suppose. Even though everything else is going well in my life - this not having anything to do with my daugters in their life is slowly eating away at me like a cancer in my soul. I try to stay positive , but some days are harder to take than others.

I know that some of you have gone many years without seeing or hearing from your children . How do you cope ? Do you just keep trying to be authentic with them, calling them occasionally ? Or just leave it alone ? I'd appreciate hearing anything you have to say. In time I truly hope this witness cult does something to piss my daughters off so they'll leave it and become my authentic sweet daughters I once had. I look forward to hearing from you ! Any ideas welcome ! Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

ferret

I have been out 28 years last month and still have 3 daughters shunning me. It's not something I sit around and worry about. I feel it is their loss, and I have made it clear that my door is always open to them. What more can one do?

Quandry

I tell them I love them, but it's as if I don't exist. I was a very involved father raising them up

Mr. flipper, I think this is all you can do. Keep reminding them of the good times. Maybe in one of your recorded messages, you could leave the scriptural thought about honoring your father and love never fails.

Sorry you are in this situation. What a loving organization.......

flipper

FERRET- I guess you are right. About the only thing we can do is tell them we will be there for them if ever they need help. My daughters know they can turn to me if they ever get dissed by this organization. I have told them this.

QUANDRY- Thanks for the kind words. I guess I could leave them a message as you said about honoring your parents - anything is worth a try. Thanks, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

compound complex

Dear Mr. Flipper,

We never truly know what another is thinking - in this case a child. He/she may seem full of bravado and confidence but often uses that to mask doubts and fear. My father never put unrealistic demands on us kids and was always there with support and love. I admit I was not always appreciative or responsive, but that was me at fault, not Dad.

I suggest you look into Judith Viorst's wonderful book NECESSARY LOSSES. It doesn't cover our specific cult-escape scenario, but, nevertheless, explains that all human connections are imperfect. Some losses are temporary, some are forever. We cannot protect our children by shielding them from the world. Our children cannot slow our descent into old age and eventual death ...

This book has more realistic and workable solutions to accepting loss and moving on than ANY Society publication could ever hope to provide.

All us JWD parents go back and forth giving encouragement, don't we?

CoCo

flipper

CoCo- Thanks for the kind words . I will check out that book you recommended , " Necessary Losses" . Perhaps it will help me to understand some things more and take a different perspective. Thanks, Mr. Flipper

Honesty

I have a 32 year-old son I haven't heard from in 4 years.

I pray for his salvation.

That's all I can do at this point.

Parents with JW Adult Children Shunning Them - How Are You Coping ?

flipper

ferret

Quandry

flipper

compound complex

flipper

Honesty

flipper

Honesty

flipper

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