I just came from my elder's meeting

by BonaFide 85 Replies latest jw friends

  • BonaFide
    BonaFide

    Just to review, I had my meeting today with the two elders who say a sister has accused me of "grinding" with her and thus porneia.

    So I printed out several of your comments on how to defend myself. I felt good about standing my ground, and repeating that I had not "grinded" with this ex-friend and that she wants to ruin the relationship I have now with the sister I am dating.

    However, the two elders today really tried to pressure me. They said the sister will come and testify against me. Also that other sisters have confessed that I committed loose conduct with them.

    (I should add that a lot of sisters come on to me and initiate physical contact. I am not that great of a guy, but there is a shortage of brothers, I mean a major shortage. So some sisters are ummm extra friendly, they complain about how they never get any affection, and we sort of mess around, while not exactly doing it. Some I see months or years later and they say they are happy they at least tried something, since they can't find a husband and are in their 30's, some in their 40's now.)

    So anyway, the two elders tried to trick me. They said another sister, a second sister had confessed to loose conduct with me, and that that makes two witnesses. They said Holy Spirit is revealing who I am. It kinda bugged me because several sisters have come over my house for a little movie-watching with a group, but with their short skirts on, and their low-cut blouses and really come on to me. I dont know if any of you have ever seen this happen among JW"s but wow, some of these girls are really forward and agressive. I resisted all of them up to a point. Actually, in the past 10 years, we are talking about 5 or 6 sisters. Again I am not that great of a guy, or good-looking, I just act normal and fun and laugh, and that leads to conversations that leads to other things. And they always say the same thing, "Hey I dont want any committment, I just like a little affection." But then later, when they see me talk to another sister, vengeance is their goal.

    So the two elders today grilled me for over an hour. They asked me again and again to confess loose conduct. I refused, i said all the stuff you guys told me to, like they are bearing false witness, and that I never grinded, there is no proof, I am OK with Jehovah, I have a clean conscience.

    But they wouldn't stop asking me again and again, saying if I don't answer the truth, I will probably be disfellowshipped. They got pretty angry and talked about many sisters are saying I took advantage of them. I mentioned how these sisters come over my house, not theirs. I showed them some emails where sisters invite me places alone. But they said it is the brothers responsibility to stop the sisters advances.

    So now that I denied everything, they are calling every sister I ever knew, including when I served in another country, all the congregations where I was a circuit overseer, they are interviewing my family. They said I confessed to my sister that I fool around sometimes. They are going to bring at least 7 sisters who say I flirted with them, or was making out with them in secluded places.

    Ok everyone, what do I do now? Am a really a piece of garbage, I used to feel like the girls enjoyed the affection, they always asked for it, and then moved on, now I feel like maybe I am wrong.

  • horrible life
    horrible life

    OMG!!!! You did nothing wrong. You are still a virgin. I would much rather my daughter be a participant in grinding than oral sex, or intercourse. Believe me, those girls hormones were just as hot as yours, and you both liked it, and your JW consciences got the best of you.

    I remember it getting the best of me. The JW's need to get their kids on some anti-hormone pills, if they don't want their kids thinking about sex, the way they expect.

  • Lady Zombie
    Lady Zombie

    Have you pissed off any of these elders? Because it really sounds like someone wants you gone. When one of the good ol' boys wants you gone, they'll find a way to do it.

    I thought that the two witnesses rule meant two witnesses must testify to the one incident, not one witnesses testifying about one incident and the other testifying about another one.

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    Due to your past and current privileges, this will not die down.

    They will get at least two to agree to something, and they will reprove or
    disfellowship you. They are calling other countries? They are not going to rest until you are reproved or disfellowshipped.

    Disassociate or just fade away.

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb
    thought that the two witnesses rule meant two witnesses must testify to the one incident, not one witnesses testifying about one incident and the other testifying about another one.

    That's how it's suppose to be. Maybe Blondie or Mary can find some quotes for you from the elder's manual!!

  • watson
    watson

    Circuit Overseer? Hmmmm

  • BonaFide
    BonaFide

    I should add that becoming a circuit overseer in this country is a tough goal to reach. Some of my MTS fellow graduates went straight to circuit work, but most went back to their old Halls.

    But I was a missionary. And if you are a missionary, then there is a real need for C.O.'s that are young and strong and don't mind tough conditions. That means hours on dusty buses, houses with dirt floors, poor and dangerous conditions. So they appoint much younger brothers. I was 26.

    The branch was nice to me, as there were never any accusations of conduct against me. But now that these elders want to get me, they are contacting almost everyone I know.

    Boy, this is getting bad.

    BF

  • hamsterbait
    hamsterbait

    Why do you even bother to stay?

    The whole setup has been rigged against you. Such betrayal is just what you need to walk away.

    HB

  • Locutus of Borg
    Locutus of Borg

    CO? excuse me . .

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    looooong deeep deep breath . . .

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    But!!!! . . . . he might really be an ex CO . . thats what makes this sooo funny

    Grinding? WTF is this grinding . . . . ferchrisake, is this another way to describe third base? I never grinded . . if it was to that point . . my hand was in the holy land and she was experiencing the frikken "second" cumming . . god damn

    Edited to add . . .

    And most of those "Sisters" came back for the home run, fuck man, get some real sex

  • Texman55
    Texman55

    Why are you still in this lying piece of shit organization, is what i dont understand. Youre on this board, so surely you've read enough to see it's all one big colossal fraud.

    Instead of wondering and worrying how to deal with the big bad elders, why not leave and get a real life?

    And have real sex, for chrissakes!! Better make good use of your sex appeal, buddy, while youre still young enough to have girls throwing themselves at ya.

    One day, much sooner than you expect, you're going to be invisible to all the hot young cuties. Trust me on this one, man.

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