by kerj2leev 23 Replies latest jw friends
In failed relationships it's usually both parties that share the blame.
I would agree somewhat but there of course are those cases where someone acts selfishly and destroys the relationship permanently.
What about those that 'run there course'......like many rebound relationships.
see, no matter how thinly you slice a loaf, there are always two sides. one side may be a tiny little end piece, and noone wants the end piece. on the other side is the rest of the loaf, yay, but you cant see that theres a bunch of mold inside of it, and its sickening, should be thrown away, and you really ought to just stick with the end piece, cause its the only one that wont make you sick
I'm not friends with my ex because he treats me like crap.
i tend to agree with Asphere, although i could and did overlook the differences that passed between my husband and myself in order to keep things nice for the kids for quite a while after the divorce, it became glaringly obvious that he felt it was fine to treat his kids like crap and no longer view himself as their dad.
if he had continued to to be a father to his children i'd still be talking to him, no man or person who treats my kids like crap is fit to be the recipient of any respect from me.
I'm quite happy to take responsibility for my own actions but i will not continually overlook and make excuses for someone elses unacceptable behaviour either, especially when its to the detriment of my children.
I guess I just may be the exception to the both parties to blame, theorem. I single handley managed to ruin two marriages, and almost a third. When I look back at the jerk I was, and how selfish I have been, its not always easy to say yeah, I was probably about 98 % at fault.
I have no idea how my wives stayed with me as long as they did.
But people change (especially after 100 of hours of counseling and therapy), and I like to think I have changed for the better, at least on some levels.
DJ_Q
But people change (especially after 100 of hours of counseling and therapy), and I like to think I have changed for the better, at least on some levels
I'm glad you're learning and becoming better for it.
It's interesting to read the differences in perspective between men and women. At one time you both were happy and in love. Something happened for one or both of you to fall out of love. In my few years of reading on this site. I don't think I have ever heard a woman actually take some responsibility for their own break-up?
Do women EVER contribute to a failed relationship?
Do women EVER contribute to a failed relationship?
Are you nuts?
You can't say stuff like that!
Hello Kerj!
I am responsible for the break up of my 1st marriage. I took the steps to do it. I told him I wanted a divorce. He is not a bad person, and yes at some point we were in love. The 1st 5 years, there was a huge physical attraction. Yet, at some point in our marriage, I became bored of him. It was difficult because I felt guilty for my feelings changing for him. We had two children together. I never set out to have an affair, but I knew that he was not the person I wanted to be spend my life with. After the divorce, I really had no intent to marry anyone else due the fact of "what if my feeling change again"?
Although, I am not "friends" with my ex, we too have put the best interests of our children 1st. This means keeping my mouth shut once in a while and leading by example.
Taking repsonsibility is difficult but it takes a load off, makes the guilt go away.
Hope all is well with you!
Nikki
very nicely put.
I am responsible for the break up of my 1st marriage. I took the steps to do it. I told him I wanted a divorce. He is not a bad person, and yes at some point we were in love. The 1st 5 years, there was a huge physical attraction. Yet, at some point in our marriage, I became bored of him. It was difficult because I felt guilty for my feelings changing for him. We had two children together. I never set out to have an affair, but I knew that he was not the person I wanted to be spend my life with. After the divorce, I really had no intent to marry anyone else due the fact of "what if my feeling change again"?
Nikki
Extrememly honest and appreciated!
I'm doing well...hope things are good with you.
We need to get together soon!
Whatever. Sometimes blame is deserved and earned. Sometimes a break-up is SOLELY or overwhelmingly one person's fault.
