I was reinstated after being DF for nine years. I was treated very well. purps
Being Reinstated After being DFed - Were You Treated Bad Back Inside ?
by flipper 28 Replies latest jw friends
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no more kool aid
I know exactly where you are coming from Flipper. We were never da'ed or df'ed. But at one point with a couple of kids,two people working and a new house my husband decided he didn't want to be appointed anymore. It was just too much. Well all of a sudden no more invitations to weddings or to homes for dinner. The funny thing was that we can't think of one person we "have not" had in our home for dinner or a cookout. I understand some people don't entertain or just don't have the money. I did not have them so they would have me back, just to be nice, but after years go by, it would have been nice to be invited out for coffee after service or something. As the kids got older it just became too painful to see them be excluded. Alot of it had to do with my kids playing a season of soccer or basketball (no meetings missed). Also alot of women in our cong. stay home, pioneer and home school and I have a career, just don't fit in socially. It took me a lifetime to come to these conclusions. The funny thing is I "still" get invited to gift giving affairs like baby showers, graduations (rare occasions for the home school set), even wedding showers (but not the wedding...... how tacky.) So now we associate with workmates, neighbors, parents of kids from school. It's so much more relaxed, not worried that I am going to say something wrong. And yes we get invited back!
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berylblue
My daughters and I never got invited anywhere except to the congregation picnics - which, of course, were stopped. I forget the reason but I'm sure I could guess. We would try to get people to our house but there was a NON BELIEVER in there, so most declined. I'm sure they all felt justified in their assessment of me and my daughters once I was DFed. P*ss on them.
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WTWizard
I never got disfellowshipped. However, I knew a few that were in that position. I would make a point in shunning them after if they had been consistently mean-spirited toward me before getting disfellowshipped (and that included the humanoid that dragged me into the cancer--he ended up trying to be too controlling of me).
However, if someone got disfellowshipped that was halfway decent toward me, I would not continue shunning them. It was more to avoid having someone trying to run my life than out of self-righteousness, though there was the tendency to be self righteous while I was in out of the spirit of the whole organization.
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White Dove
New people who have moved into the congregation from another one, after being loved bombed and found to be single mothers without a male "head," are treated just like reinstated ones: Lousy!
That's what happened to me and what opened my eyes to what they really were.
I'm glad it happened cuz I really love the holidays with friends...er...acquaintances.
(gotta keep that straight)
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Witness 007
I think 9/11 scared everybody....but I was already starting to doubt the lies of the Watchtower.
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flipper
Thanks for all the replies folks !
GARY BUSS- I've been treated bad as well Gary - even now as a fading inactive witness. It goes with the territory - no difference in how your treated. These days they treat inactive ones and DFed ones the same.
ASILENTONE- I was having coffee in a supermarket coffee shop when I heard about the 9/11 attacks. Men and women were standing around crying and talking about it. They were scared and then I asked what happened ? It blew my mind.
LEASE- That's awful you were treated that way after having been reinstated 9 months before ! Sick. What an unloving organization.
WARLOCK- I feel that if there is a God - he's much more forgiving than humans. God forgives and forgets- people don't.
MADDIE- You are right. I do think fear causes the witnesses to not show proper love and caring to those reinstated. They are afraid they will get spiritually " contaminated " from us. Weird.
FINALLY FREE- I hear you FF. I was also treated this way when I became a fader , inactive but still in good standing. There was no difference in how many witnesses treat DFed ones- I was treated just like a DFed person just being inactive !
OUTLAW- It is true Outlaw what you say. It is amyth that rank and file witnesses will treat you good once reinstated. They still treat you like crap even IF you are reinstated !
PURPLE SOFA- You were one of the lucky ones if you were treated well. Most reinstated people are looked down on. Count yourself lucky you were not treated that way.
NO MORE KOOL AID- I agree with you.Sorry you went through that. Most witnesses wanted some kind of gift or material benefit from hanging out with us. So they'd go to showers, graduations, etc. But come over just for dinner ? Rarely . And it was a rare occasion I ever had that hospitality returned to me ! It is more relaxing being with " non-witness " friends as they don't expect as much !
BERYL BLUE- I'm sorry you were treated that way. It is true if we have unbelieving mates or relatives living with us- we were treated like poison ! The witnesses wouldn't even come over if we invited them - that happened to me as well ! I agree- piss on them !
WT WIZARD- That's good you didn't generally shun reinstated ones. But yes- there was a tendency towards self righteousness in a lot of witness people who would not be forgiving.
WHITE DOVE- It's a lot more relaxed to be with upbeat acquaintances than judgmental witnesses. I agree.
WITNESS 007- 9/11 did scare lots of people. I'm glad you got out of the witnesses when you did ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Tired of the Hypocrisy
Like Gary Buss I was also treated bad without the benefit of getting my ass booted out. I have seen many, many df'd folks come back and get reinstated, only to continue to have people "MARK" them as unacceptable association. I never looked at it that way. I fell in love with my wife at first sight. Imagine my pain when I asked to be introduced and was told she was df'd. I never could keep her off my mind and when she was reinstated I welcomed her back in as sincerely as I love her. That was almost 20 years ago. She is still treated bad by some of those dickbrains. I hope they can pull their heads outta their backsides before the world really does end and they find out they are the wicked ones with the mark on their heads.
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flipper
TIRED of the HYPOCRISY- I am so glad you met your wife. It sounds like she is a great person ! It truly is disgusting that after 20 years - people still held something against her for having been DFed before. You are right- self righteous people who act like that truly are the " dicks " in life that we have to contend with at times. I usually choose to ignore them actually. Because their opinion really does not matter
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flipper
Just wanted to see if anybody had experiences being treated negatively after having been reinstated . Let me know. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper