Wanting to date, but

Junction-Guy

Well first off, I am mostly happy being single. I don't have this big desire to get married again, in fact I am kind of commitment shy now, and don't know how I ever would be able to function in a relationship again. But there are certain events and certain times of the year when I feel alone and would like a date.

I need to start all over again and take small steps, even if it is just a simple date to a movie or dinner, but I don't want to feel obligated either.

I have let alot of good women pass me by in the past couple of years, in fact one is a woman I work with. She is such a fun loving gal, and I enjoy her company, but I let her get by me when the opportunity was there.

So you guys that have been through tumultuous marriages and divorce, how did you cope? Did you wait awhile and then jump back into things?

It is so weird, it is like I am a virgin all over again and learning how to interact with women. I guess I have been married so long I have almost forgotten what it was like to date.

My life is so strange, when I want women, none can be found, when I am almost content to be alone, they are everywhere. I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

FreudianSlip

Well either way, good luck.

Junction-Guy

Well thanks, but good luck doesn't seem to follow me.

yknot

Well it is like riding a bike ......so strap on a helmet (safety first in this day and age) and start peddling!

Why not join a dating service like e-harmony?

I am very committment phobic .....but when I met my hubby it just disappeared.

When you meet the 'right' type of person it will just click.......

Best Wishes

Finally-Free

My marriage ended 5 years ago and so far I've felt little inclination to date anyone. I've had women drop hints, some not so subtle, but I've been burned by my own poor judgement too many times in the past. I'm not ready to go through it again. Besides, I'm really enjoying the privacy of my own personal space, and I'm set in my ways. I'm not good "relationship" material.

W

Junction-Guy

Well I have thought of that, but I probably wouldn't have much luck with it. I really am not financially ready for a steady, nor am I divorced, but that is top priority for me right now.

Some people are opposed to dating people they work with, they have an expression "don't get your honey where you get your money", yet there are several single women at work now. Funny thing is there is this woman at work who is recently divorced, she looks alot like Amanda, even a similar personality, several people told me I should ask her out.

This other woman I mentioned earlier is a flirt with me, she actually wanted to go out with me in the past, but she is now dating someone else at work. I don't know if anything serious could have developed, but she would have been fun at the time, fun that I let pass me by.

Aculama

It may be time for a new philosopy. Instead of dating just try a little more social activity. Most of all be open and let your friends know how you feel. They may invite you over for dinner when their single friend stops by. I had a friend that lost his wife. After he came out of mourning he just started asking everybody he knew if they knew anybody that was looking for a "good man". Needless to say he had very little time to be lonely after that. He's happily married again.

Junction-Guy

Finally Free, I feel kinda the same way now. I enjoy having my personal space and freedom, it would be very hard to give that up now. I just don't believe I am relationship material anymore either. Maybe a date or two just for fun, but unless I fall head over heels in love, I would probably put up a wall of separation.

yknot

Well Alrighty then.....your are just in the preliminary stages of mentally/emotionally prepping yourself to re-enter the market.

When the time is right, I see dinner and a movie in your future.....

Junction-Guy

Thanks, yeah I believe the time has come to start taking some small steps again. I just don't know how to casually date, I have always been in the past of the mindset of looking toward the future, so I put the cart before the Ox. What if I really like her company, but not looking for marriage? It wouldnt feel right to lead her on, then dump her when a commitment is inevitable.

Maybe someone like me that is just coming out of a failed marriage, and not looking for anything serious. Kind of like having an agreement up front.

Wanting to date, but

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