by Junction-Guy 36 Replies latest jw friends
I get invited to work functions where most people go with their partners.
I avoid work functions like the plague. It's like working overtime without the pay. The only difference is that people discuss their computer problems with me over a beer instead of over the phone.
This year I'm having a couple of friends over for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm looking forward to cooking for someone other than just myself.
W
Dave:
Coming from a friend: please listen to me. If you are not divorced, you really shouldn't be thinking of dating anyone else at this time. Get that under your belt and then re-evaluate where you are at that time. I know that you would like someone to hang out with occasionally, and not be so lonely, but just cultivate friendships at this time until you are divorced. Be fair to the future people you date, and be free of encumbrances. Then you can go into a dating/possible relationship w/a clean slate. If you date someone so soon after being separated, you are not doing them, or you, any favors. Then they have to go through all this emotional upheavel w/you, and I'm sure they wouldn't choose that if they had the choice.
Just realize that someday someone's going to come along that makes you happy. Be ready for that wonderful moment with yourself: unencumbered and free. Then give it all you got. Everyone has someone on this earth, and I believe that you will find yours. I will be praying for you.
CG
Bad Goodbye by Clint:
I've been bound to leave you, we've known that for awhile
I'm sure it's something I can't do if I can't leave you with a smile
I don't know how far I'll have to go 'til I'm sure those eyes won't cry
And in my mind I've left enough to know that I can't leave you
With a bad goodbye
Goodbye, easier said than done
Goodbye, there's no good when you're the one
Whose goodbye you swore would never come
And in my goodbye you're finding none
I'm still bound to leave you, I surely don't know how
My heart won't let me put you through
What my mind says should happen now
I don't know where we'll go from here, there may be no way to fly
And the cloud I'm in just makes it all too clear that I can't leave you
With a bad goodbye
Goodbye, easier said than done
Goodbye, there's no good when you're the one
Whose goodbye you swore would never come
And in my goodbye you're finding none
How can we be so far between where we are and one more try
And any way I look, I've only seen that I can't leave you
With a bad goodbye
You're very fun company for a coffee or meal. As your friend, I'd recommend just giving yourself time to legalize things and grow into your new identity as a separate person, not as part of a couple. Meanwhile, I am sure there are ladies who would enjoy having coffee, seeing a bluegrass band, having chinese food with you, just as a fond friend. You're better at that than you realize. And just love yourself for the unique individual that you are.
Dave, CG is right. Concentrate on getting your divorce out of the way. Meanwhile, a lot of churches have divorce support groups and singles groups. Just take some deep breaths, relax. Be content to be friends and someday, at the right time, things will happen.
The good stuff. People spend so much time fighting over religion, politics, etc. that they forget that we're all connected to each other, and we should treat each other how we want to be treated. Every person is a worthy person, deserving of God's love, and we should treat each person with love, compassion and respect. life is found in the littlest things. A new wife, a wedding, the birth of a child. That is OUR life. Things that should all be greeted with the greatest joy and happiness. Every person on Earth deserves to be treated with respect and love.
For me: life means that I have another day to enjoy my family; it means another day to love my husband and son. I kind of take it for granted at times... but every day means another day to me. A new day. Below is the lyrics of Kenny Chesney's "The Good Stuff" and I like it alot because it pretty much feels good:
Well, me and my lady had our first big fight
So I drove around 'till I saw the neon lights
Of a corner bar, It just seemed right, So I pulled up
Not a soul around but the old barkeep
Down at the end and loooking half asleep
But he walked up and said what'll it be?
I said the good stuff
He didn't reach around for the whiskey
He didn't pour me a beer
His blue eyes kinda went misty
He said you can't find that here
'Cause it's the first long kiss on a second date
Momma's all worried when you get home late
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate 'cause
your hands are shakin' so
much
And it's the way that she looks with the rice in her
hair
Eatin' burnt supper the whole first year
And askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up
Yeah man, that's the good stuff
He grabbed a carton of milk and he poured a glass
And I smiled and said I'll have some of that
We sat there and talked as an hour passed like old
friends
Saw a black and white picture and he caught my stare
It was a pretty girl with mufont hair
He said that's my Bonnie, taken about a year after we
wed
He said I spent five years in the bottle when the
cancer took her from me
But I've been sober three years now
'Cause the one thing stronger than the whiskey
Was the sight of her holdin' my baby girl
The way she adored that string of pearls
I gave her the day that our youngest boy Earl married
his high school love
It's a new t-shirt sayin' I'm a grandpa
Bein' right there as our time got small
And holdin' her hand when The Good Lord called her up
Yeah man, that's the good stuff
He said when you get home she'll start to cry
When she says I'm sorry, say so am I
And look into those eyes so deep in love
And drink it up
'Cause that's the good stuff
That's the good stuff
No man is an Island. Stop being such a pussy and just go and ask some damn girl out. It's not rocket science.
post your free ad at www.craigslist.com Good Luck!
Well to help calm your nerves why not hit the gym and build your confidence up along with your muscles!
Just get active and start being social..... life will take care of the rest.
I was going to post something, but I have now changed my mind and not going to post it. I wish you all the best David. You are a good person, you just married the wrong one at the wrong time in your life. Peace be with you!
Amanda
So Amanda.... can we take that as giving your 'blessing'?
I am happy that yall have such a friendly/healthy transition.... my parents were the same way.
Now of course we will be waiting for you to post your dating adventures in your new hometown!
