It's all becoming so clear now. My wife will never leave the witnesses

jambon1

After 3 years of mental liberation for me, I feel that I am a fairly well rounded out person now. Very happy within myself. My wife & I have had our ups & downs the past 3 years. One thing is now clear to me & I am slowly coming to terms with it; My wife will never leave the 'truth'. No matter how calmly I explain fundamental points about the religion that are not only inconsistent but wrong. No matter how much she feels bored & tired out by the JW lifestyle. No matter how more depressed she becomes. NOTHING will prompt her to do what I did. She's in for good. I just have to deal with it & help raise our JW exposed kids as best as I can. I really love my wife. It can be hard.

ninja

ditto mate....sounds exactly like my life.......only you have it MUCH worse.....you still have to support the jam tarts....he he.....keep yer chin up mate.....ninja

jgnat

Tough revelation, dude.

You are right, you are in for the long haul regardless because of your shared children.

You might enjoy practicing bringing out your wife's natural personality. It can be done with practice and observation, using Hassan's methods. My JW hubby is much more tolerable when he isn't spouting WT-speak. He's downright fun.

no more kool aid

Don't give up on her. If you told me even a year ago that we would be where we are now, out for six months and on the same page about it (finally), I would have bet the farm against it. Never say never, you don't know what she's thinking. At our hall a woman with a husband not in, isn't included, this may make her think twice eventually.

Gayle

You never know. Perhaps with your influence you can help to make your children to be able to "think", be educated, enjoy "real" positive life with other interests, work toward college, etc. If the children move on, then maybe she'll see the need to stick with her family and will see the "organization' really doesn't care about her.

drew sagan

There were times I thought my wife would never come out as well. Of course, you are going on a much longer run so I can see how this could really start to get to you.

I do think you have a problem with how you view this situation. You are basing her decision to stay/leave on the level of attention and agreement she has with your arguments. I can say from experience that what prompted my wife to leave was a mixture of things, not just my arguments. In fact, some of my arguments made her want to stay in more sometimes, mainly due to the fact that she wanted to prove me wrong (it's really the truth! I'll show you...)

Step back and realize that at this point nothing you personally can do will change the situation, but that dosen't mean the situation is far from hopeless. Reassess the way you deal with the religion and your marriage. Quit thinking your on a mission to give her the worlds best argument, it's just not going to work that way.

StAnn

Please do everything in your power to protect your children from the WTS. If your wife wants to attend meetings, fine, she's an adult. But don't let the children go to meetings or in field service or hang out with friends from the KH. It's just too damaging. The most important job you have right now is to keep your children from being permanently scarred by WTS teachings.

Of course, you may already be doing these things, I don't remember the details of your situation.

StAnn

Satanus

Accepting things as they are brings a person peace. Of course, you can still drop a hint now and then, and still work on your kids at times. Just staying detached from results can help to deal w the jw presence.

S

BluesBrother

I am in the same position . There is so much dissonance . She knows all about every doctrinal flip flop and laughs at what CTR used to write. She watched the BBC's Panorama about child abuse , and blames on poor local elders. She has more criticism of the local congo than I do, but remains fiercely loyal to the "Truth"

Like the canary that is unwilling to leave the security of the cage,even if he could,- some of them just won't face the fact that they could have been wrong...

sacolton

Same here. Best advice is to focus 100% on your happiness. She'll see you are happy OUTSIDE the bORG and this will confuse her. Live your life. Don't push your negative views on her beliefs. Just start a hobby and enjoy life. She's be programmed that happiness only comes from Jehovah's organization and will start to get curious about what you're on to.

It's all becoming so clear now. My wife will never leave the witnesses

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