I stopped believing when my husband left us because my daughter no longer wanted to attend meeting, and he was a elder. Had to seek assistance from the government to buy food and pay bills. He took all monies with him. The elders didn't know what to do, I attended meeting because the elders told me to do so. At the book study we were studying the Family book (this was back in 1985) the brother asked a question and I don't remember what it was. But my husband's answer was if your wife has wants she better want less. I wanted to die at the end of the meeting the brother allowed him to close the meeting with a prayer. I grabbed my son by the arm and walked out and never went back. THAT'S WHEN I STOPPED BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(when) Did you stop believing?
by megs 15 Replies latest jw experiences
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Aculama
When I was eight my Grandfather, who was like a dad to me, was in a terrible accident. He suffered for days until he finally died. I became obsessed with God, the devil, and all things spiritual. I went back and forth from serious doubt to weak belief. I don't know why, but little by little my search for the truth led me to a faith in God. The Bible says the rain falls on the just and the unjust. The one question that always came back to me was- Why did all of the Apostles give their lives for thier faith? All of them held their testimony. John was the only one to not be killed, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. They boiled him in oil and when it didn't kill him they abandoned him on the isle of Patmos. Judas, after betraying Jesus, would have been a hero at the temple. The weight of what he'd done left him so hopeless that he killed himself. Even Matthias, who took Judas' place died for the faith. If Jesus had been a fake, I don't think I would have said crucify me upside down because I'm not worthy to die like my lord, Like Peter did. When they crucified Andrew, he saluted the cross and said he had awaited this moment with great anticipation. He then preached for two days, from the cross, 'till he finally died. They were skinned alive, run through with spears, beheaded, beaten with whips, imprisoned, stoned, ect. All of them held to their testimony. Many religions distort who Jesus is, this didn't stop me from looking for myself. those guys didn't die like that for nothing. I know that for myself now. God bless you!
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megs
Tiffy... I'm sorry for the experience you went through, I imagine it has strengthened you in the long run...
Aculama... Thank you for your response. Looking at the JW's, many believers have died for their faith because of policies on blood transfusions and military service. Is their sacrifice not equal to that of the apostles you mentioned? They held to their faith and died for it, I can't see the difference...
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John Doe
I stopped believing at no one point, but my disbelief followed a progression of self examination and thinking. I started analyzing why people believe in god, and I came to the conclusion that they need to believe in god--something that has no bearing on objective reality but does have a powerful influence on a person's perceptions. I realized that mankind in general has a fear of death, and religion allows them to accept death in a curious way. People need to feel permanence, and they are constantly struggling to achieve pernmanence with impermanent things. And then, finallly, I realized the sheer number of religions and the comlete faith each adherrent feels towards his religion. I realized that the vast majority of the time, people believe what their parents believe. None of these factors are dispositive of the existence of god, but they all add up to paint a clear picture that god is a man made entity that is absent of any objective verification or reality.
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megs
Thanks JD... Reminds me of "the god gene", we are predisposed to believe...
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dawg
I've never "quit believing" that God doesn't exist, I really want to believe he/she/it does exist. I've come to the conclusion that we are supposed to do for ourselves, even if something exists, we can't prove it with the available data, so we must do as much for ourselves as possible and not worry too much about things like that...
We can only learn from the bad that happens, we should use the minds we have to make our lives as happy as possible.. that's the conclusion I've come up with... even if he exists, his assistance seems arbitrary, which means he's leaving it up to us to make the world better.
your dad's death, nothing good can come of it other than trying to find cures from the illness he died from... God has left our futures in our own hands if he exists.... and if he does help i can't find a particular proof he hands down favors to anyone... so he must want us to do for ourselves...
I never give up hope that he may help us all one day, the fact that people defend bullshjit like the JW religion is a fine example of what bad religion can do to a life; in my mind religion must be defeated, but to me, religion has nothing to do with God... its all made up.
As Benjamin Franklin said, "it must be God's plan because it's happening"... we must learn to accept that bad things are going to happen, we must learn from all things as a people to move forward, that
s the only good thing that can come from our existence... whether God exists or not, I know this is true
But I do hold out hope, I want to believe, maybe he'll fly down on a spaceship and give us a clue one day... LOL! I still hold out hope.. -
never too late to be myseld
There was a point when I really believed there was a God. I remember being very convinced when I got baptized, and later while still a JW. For example, I would get ready to go out in FS, feeling that I really DIDN'T WANT TO go and face the same music again. Then I would be paired with someone who had a 2 hour long study or similar, so it would end up being an 'easy' day, and I'd think that that was God's 'helping hand'.
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Aculama
Megs, The people who died for their faith in a doctrine may have great faith but it is based on a doctrine. The Apostles died for their personal witness and testimony of the resurection of Jesus Christ and their insistance that He was God in flesh. Their martyrdom was based on what they saw. Remember Thomas, He wouldn't believe Jesus was raised until he put his fingers in the nail holes and his hand in his side. But after he did, he died at by impalement for his faith.
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megs
I feel I should say that I'm an agnostic theist... I believe in the potential for God, but I don't believe we can know him/her/it. The more I read the OT the less I believe in the divinity of the Bible... It's no different than any other religion's sacred texts (IMHO)
BTW... Dawg... Your surprised me with your answer, I took you for a dyed-in-the-wool atheist! I liked your response!
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ex-nj-jw
I'm not sure I ever believed in the JW religion. I was born and raised in and always hated everything JW from personal/family study to assemblies.
I stopped believing in god when I prayed for him to help me make my mother love me and he didn't. Just figured he either didn't like me, didn't want to help me or didn't care. The older I got I just started believing there was not such thing as god.
nj