So it's over. Again.

faundy

Three years ago I told a close friend in Australia that I was gay. As a witness, she cut me off. I wasn't surprised. However, last year she was disfellowshipped for sex outside marriage. She and I then got back in contact. Why not? I mean, it;s not like she could get into any more trouble! Now she has married the guy and is going back to meetings. Because of this, she has once again told me that she can't have contact with me anymore.

I was expecting it but it still hurts so much. It's so hypocritical- just because she once again bears the name 'witness' she has to shun me.

It's pathetic. The crazy thing is, I'm not even disfellowshipped.

shamus100

It is very sad.

You can never trust a faded witness if they are not 100% sure that the truth is a lie. They will go back during a weak moment and leave you in the lurch.

This has happened to me too - different circumstances though. I would imagine it has happened to a lot of people here too.

These many years later, I see my old friends still trapped in the lie, and find it quite pathetic. Imagine these people living they're life afraid of the boogey-man.

Emma

Yes, it is pathetic. Their entire system is. They do not unite in love, but divide in judgement. There's no making any sense of it; we just have to stay close to those who know what real love and friendship are. I'm sorry this is happening to you again.

compound complex

I was expecting it but it still hurts so much. It's so hypocritical- just because she once again bears the name 'witness' she has to shun me.

Dear Faundy,

Yes, it does hurt, no matter the reason. We all of us get shunned one way or another, though not DFed per se. I was shunned after I was divorced. Not by everyone, of course, yet it was a slap in the figurative face. Please be yourself and revel in the love and acceptance of the various support groups available. Surely your new-found freedom will open many a door for you as you make a difference in the lives of those who might benefit from your love and acceptance.

The demons of the WT no longer haunt me, but it's taken time ...

Love,

CoCo

faundy

My mate wrote the most beautiful email to her, just saying that CJ was simply shallow and blinded. I loved her for that, makes me reliase who my true friends were. This is the final letter I wrote to her:

Hello,

I know you are going through a hard time at the moment, struggling with feeling low and wanting to do what you tihnk is the right thing, and then you have me pecking your head about stuff, too.

When all is said and done, you and I are faced with the fact that in a short time, I'm going to lose you. Do you know how hard that is? It's like you have a terminal disease or something, and I am letting go of you forever. That hurts so much. But I am going to do it this time, and not wait for another letter, a farewell email, etc.

Last night I popped into my hairdressers because one of the girls has just had a new baby. In there was a guy called Alex from my old congregation. And I said hello. And he said hello back. We talked about his daughter, and whether he'd have any more kids etc, and how they are all keeping. And I went out there with my head held high, knowing that there are still decent people in the world who can say "You know, you have your life, and I have mine, and we'll agree to disagree, but I'm not going to treat you like dirt, and ignore you." And it restored my faith in humanity a bit.

You know I love you, and that I will always care for you. And it will be so odd to think that you are so close to me and I can't see you, or rather you won't want to see me. But that's your choice. I just want to leave with you the thought that today, you have let go someone who cares for you more than you know, simply because she fell in love with someone. I never did that to you.

So I hope that you get everything you want from life, that Paul and you really do live happily ever after, and that you have kids and love them for who they are, no matter what they tell you. Because they cannot help the way they are born, any more than I could. Trust me, this is not a life I would have chosen, but I am so proud of myself, accepting of myself, and excited beyond belief with regards to my future with Emily.

Take care, and who knows, maybe one day we'll see each other again. And you can walk straight past me as if I don't exist. I can't wait.

Love Steph xx

dawg

Piss on that nice letter shit.... sorry, but that's how I feel... tell her that her behavior is UNACCEPTABLE. And tell her why... tell her what you know about the JWs, if she's leaving anyway, might as well let her go with a message that may do her and her soon to be family some good...

Do you really want her to leave with her thinking that her actions are justifiable? They're clearly not! She should be told how deplorable her behavior is.... damn it!

megs

Dawg, I get where you are coming from, but I tried the whole anger straight out thing with a witness friend and now he thinks that I'm a crazy, obsessed nut... From that I learned that maybe the subtle approach is better. If someone comes across as angry, it's a lot easier to "write them off" than if they come across as loving... At least that's my current thought process... It could change, I reserve the right to change my opinion without notice!

Poztate

Hey Dawg... I read between the lines and here is what I saw....

Hello,

I know you are going through a hard time at the moment, struggling with feeling low and wanting to do what you tihnk is the right thing, and then you have me pecking your head about stuff, too.

When all is said and done, you and I are faced with the fact that in a short time, I'm going to lose you. Do you know how hard that is? It's like you have a terminal disease or something, and I am letting go of you forever. That hurts so much. But I am going to do it this time, and not wait for another letter, a farewell email, etc.

Last night I popped into my hairdressers because one of the girls has just had a new baby. In there was a guy called Alex from my old congregation. And I said hello. And he said hello back. We talked about his daughter, and whether he'd have any more kids etc, and how they are all keeping. And I went out there with my head held high, knowing that there are still decent people in the world who can say "You know, you have your life, and I have mine, and we'll agree to disagree, but I'm not going to treat you like dirt, and ignore you." And it restored my faith in humanity a bit.

You know I love you, and that I will always care for you. And it will be so odd to think that you are so close to me and I can't see you, or rather you won't want to see me. But that's your choice. I just want to leave with you the thought that today, you have let go someone who cares for you more than you know, simply because she fell in love with someone. I never did that to you.

So I hope that you get everything you want from life, that Paul and you really do live happily ever after, and that you have kids and love them for who they are, no matter what they tell you. Because they cannot help the way they are born, any more than I could. Trust me, this is not a life I would have chosen, but I am so proud of myself, accepting of myself, and excited beyond belief with regards to my future with Emily.

Take care, and who knows, maybe one day we'll see each other again. And you can walk straight past me as if I don't exist. I can't wait.

Love Steph xx

stillajwexelder

cant you just feel the lurrrrvvvvv

yknot

alt

So it's over. Again.

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