So it's over. Again. (page 2)

faundy

I don't have enough hate in me to be horrible to her, sorry. And I don't think spouting apostate stuff would help my case any, either.

As for being angry and telling her exactly what's going on, my best friend Laura did that for me, here's the email she sent to CJ in my defense:

My name is Laura and I am writing to you as Stephanie's best friend. I have known Stephanie for ten years. Stephanie has supported me through school, my Dads illness and eventually his death. She supported me when I fell pregnant and through my trouble accepting this, she supported me through my Mums accident that left her paralysed and now that I am her full time carer to her she is the first person I go to when I have a problem. Stephanie is a wonderful friend and a fantastic role model for my two year old daughter who she cares for deeply. Now here is the mind boggling part of this for you....Stephanie manages all of this whilst being gay.... a shock I know that who she chooses to love doesn't affect her ability to be a thoroughly decent person.

I am a Christian and pray to God, I pray that people such as yourselves and quite frankly all other Witnesses are forgiven for their small mindedness and utter betrayal of people that was once your close friend.

I spoke to Stephanie today and she is upset that you are soon to be reinstated (the definition of reinstate is 'to restore to a former rank or condition', and I have never agreed with Collins English dictionary more as that is exactly what you are: conditioned) therefore unable to speak to her. Is this because somebody (some elder somewhere) has told you not to? My daughter is two and if somebody told her not to talk to somebody because that person chooses something different to you I would quite honestly tell her to grow up and stop being a pathetic mouthpiece.

I am very angry at not just you but at all Jehovahs Witnesses and hope one day that you will knock on my door so I can speak to you directly, as unlike yourselves I am not afraid and hide behind an elder somewhere.

Stephanie is gay, and your problem is......shes happy? In love? Knows what she wants in life? Has a future? Please tell me as I am struggling to get to grips with what exactly the problem is. God means love and forgiveness, quite frankly it is you who should be forgiven by Stephanie, and unfortunately I think she will as she is that kind of person.

I very much doubt you are still reading this as from my experience with the people Stephanie used to waste her time with, they don't like hearing things back, and yes you will probably forward this to an elder that you see once a month and they will tut tut, but I had to get my opinion across, for years now I have listened in complete anger at my friend telling me of stories of grown adults, supposedly mature people ignoring her in the street because she is gay.

To tell Stephanie that in your heart you will be giving her a huf is possibly the most patronising thing I have ever heard, it won't worry me that much though as your hug from your heart, is nothing compared to a hug from Stephanie. Hug away, after all your heart seems so capable of such kind gestures. Are the elders aware you are subconsciously sending a former Witness hugs, is this allowed???!!!

Your complete and utter loss at having Stephanie in your life (and one day you will realise that) is our complete and utter gain as it means Stephanie has space for a new friend that deserves her. Stephanie is a wonderful person, loving, kind and generous and to simplify things for, far too good for you.

digderidoo

Sorry to hear this. I have said it over and over again this is one bastard of a religion.

JW friendships have and always will be conditional. Just be on your guard if she falls away again and contacts you in the future.

Paul

faundy

Thanks for everyone'e thoughts and comments on this; it's easier this time around. Now I just have to deal with whether I keep pictures of the two of us in my house or not.... that's a difficult one!

penny2

So you were good enough to be her friend when she was alone, but now she's back in the fold, you are abandoned.

That's heartless! I'm sorry.

Still, I'd keep the pictures.

penny

Gill

Faundy - Jehovah's Witnesses are a nasty bunch, considering they're supposed to be 'good' and going to live forever.

That letter is atrociously cruel.

I would follow the advice of another poster and piss on it!

The sheer arrogance of these silly little people is breath taking.

Take heart that you have escaped their stupid slavery and live life well and to the full!

Good luck with your endeavours, Faundy! Put the WT silly world behind you and just feel pity for its slaves.

Gill

sass_my_frass

That sucks. The only people who I have been able to remain friends with confidently, and who haven't eventually found a way to deliberately hurt me for my own good, are those who I knew weren't into it, and were trying to get out themselves. Everybody else I treat with caution.

sass_my_frass

I love the two letters that she got from you and your friend; they're both perfect. Yours because of the class, hers because your 'friend' does deserve to be told off. People around me feel just as indignant (different situation but similar reasons) and they'd do the same if they had the chance. To all of the witnesses in my life, the most important thing is 'how they look' to non-witnesses. Learning that they are actually held in contempt, not respect like they think, is very powerful. She may be touched by it, she may not, it's completely random. Either way she doesn't deserve you.

I think about them all, but it's been nearly four years now and I think about them much less than I used to. I think that some sad thoughts about all that will always be a part of my life but in time it will fade. I know that the life I've replaced them with is better; both actually better, and also infinitely more genuine. The multiple ongoing rejections are brutal, but it gets better.

faundy

Sass- I totally get where you're coming from; the memories of how much it hurts will always be there, but you get over it and move on. But she came back into my life, and left again, and this time I wasn't going to let her go without telling her what I really thought!

I feel sorry for her husband; he's studying, and I think it's just to make her happy. I hope he doesn't continue with it, as it will consume his life and he'll never be able to think for himself again. Ignorance is bliss sometimes!

penny2

I feel sorry for her husband; he's studying

Maybe he'll read the letters and realise what's really going on.

So it's over. Again.

Share this