Need advice - I think the elders in my old hall know we're inactive

by truthseeker 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Scully and Still-fading called it right.

  If you popped up at a new location, told the secretary (or some elder at least) that
  you were now going to go to that congregation, and assisted him to get the address
  or at least the phone number for your last congregation's secretary so he could
  request your records- then it probably was done.

  If you did not go through that whole mess, then it probably was not done. Even if
  the two secretaries know each other and it could have been done with just a casual
  mention of your move, assume the records stayed with your old congregation unless
  you went through the process.

  I would still just let sleeping dogs stay where they are. If you are not ready to have
  more revealed to family, then screen all your calls and just don't answer the elders.
  It will die off rather quickly if it didn't die off already. If not, change your number.
• 

  willyloman

  Your circumstance is similar to mine; here's how that worked out:

  We sat down together (wife and I) and worked up an exit strategy. It involved (short version) moving to another congo and attending sporadically for a month or so, then just disappearing.

  I told the secretary in our congo that we were moving the following week to X Congo and suggested he contact the secretary over there. Our secretary said, "I'll contact him and send the cards and a letter." However, when Sunday rolled around we looked at each other and decided not to go. This repeated itself several times until we stopped asking and just never went.

  About a month later, I got a call from the new secretary, who said he had received our cards and a letter some weeks back but hadn't seen us at their meetings. He asked, "Is there some mistake about this or have you moved someplace else?" I asked if the letter mentioned some health problems we were having and he said that it did. I told him things had taken a turn for the worse but the prognosis was that we'd get better and that it was our intention to move to his congo when things improved.

  He didn't press for any details, but did ask if we'd like a couple of elders to call and "encourage" us. I told him that we were getting lots of company from our old congo (not!) and it wasn't necessary, but that if he did decide to come over he should call first because we had "good nights and bad nights." Of course, he never called back or, if he did, we don't know about it because we screened all our calls during that period and if we didn't know for sure who was calling, we didn't answer. There were several hang-ups during that period, and maybe one was his, we don't know. But he never left a message.

  That was almost 5 years ago. Not long after all this, most of the family members who were "in" decided to leave the dubs. One lives a few states away and hasn't called since she heard we were "apostate" (her word, after hearing we had stopped going to the KH).

  There's no guarantee this will work for everyone; my point is that most elders really don't like these kinds of shepherding opportunities and they avoid them like the plague. Usually if you throw the smallest obstacle in their way, they'll quickly lose interest. We counted on that happening, and it did.

  Of course, your mileage may vary.