DF'd 4 smoking........feel unworthy;yet.... (page 2)

Billygoat

Iwish4truth,

I'm so sorry to hear about your DFing. Many of us understand the pain of lost family. Please hang in there! Things outside the Tower do get better.

It's unbelievable how other imperfect humans stop caring for you and loving you in an instant. I did not know that Love could be turned on and off that way.

If they can turn it on and off it's not love. It's pure selfishness. I've discovered in 11 years of being out of the dubs, that most die-hard dubs do NOT understand the meaning of love. It's a warped definition that fits their own understanding and desires. You will find much more biblical love outside the organization than in it.

Andi

Skeptic

IWish4Truth,

I feel sorry for you, but this may be a good thing in the long run. JWs cannot be true friends as they have to be worried about being seen talking to you, and you can never really completely open up to them, for fear of being reported to the elders for a non-conforming comment.

So, do your best to forget them. The good news is that at 32, you are young enough to make friends outside the JWs and to live a full life.

Do something you are interested in with other people. If you believe in God, try out several churches. You will find that Christendom has been given a bad rap by the JWs. Most people in Christendom are more loving than JWs. For one thing, there is no shunning.

Join a chess club, or a dance club. When you interact with people, you will make friends, and maybe find a mate for life.

Stay with our discussion board. Friends made over the Internet can make life more rich. And in my case, the Internet is what brought my sweet Windrider into my life.

As for your smoking, that is your choice. Decide what you want to do. I smoke about 4 times a year. Why? Because I want to. Is it a smart choice? Maybe not, but it is my choice and after a lifetime of people telling me what to do, I am going to make my choices, even if I am wrong.

Richard

OUTLAW

You were smoking,Why thats terrible!(lol)..You would have got off easyer if you had molested a kid,and thats not so funny!Next time one of those assholes sticks their nose in your business.Tell them your going to stick your boot up their ass!I doubt they`ll bother you again.Works for me!...OUTLAW

LDH

Wish,

There is an even MORE addictive and dangerous behavior than smoking! It's......

[drumroll please].......

MEETING ATTENDANCE!

I'm 32 also, raised in the 'Spoof' my whole life. Now I am free free free. Your spirituality is between you and God, if you choose to believe in him/her/it.

Welcome.

Yoyomamma, You show a FINE and EXEMPLARY Christian attitude! GD offspring of vipers.

Lisa

Mum

If you want to make friends, you can. You can join a club, go to church, or invite co-workers to lunch or a drink after work.

You can't lose friends "in an instant." They were not your friends if they will ditch you so quickly, not because of their own principles, but in order to stay in the good graces of the tyrants they bow to.

Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace

I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix

ashitaka

Borgfree, Nice quote from John. I agree totally. Iwish...hang in there. Quit smoking and stay away from the JW's...they're only trouble.

ashi

Frenchy

"that one thing that I have learned from all this is that when it all boils down to it, all I can really put my full trust in is God Himself. Not the WTBTS, not the kingdom Hall or Mom. It's just between me and He!! True??" --Iwish.

Yes, that is true. It is between you and Him. The stigma of being df'd is a terrible one to bear esp. if you have friends and family in the organization as you do. JJ is correct in that you should not blame the individuals inasmuch as they have been conditioned to respond this way. Fear and intimidation are terrible things and your friends are having to deal with that.

If you have truly learned the lesson you spoke of above, your ordeal has not been in vain. Most people never have the opportunity to arrive at that realization. Congratulations but one word of caution. Truth is a journey and not a destination and the minute that you stop...the journey ends. Keep at it.

willy_think

hi Iwish,
welcome, hope the venting helped, i know it helps me.

Im not here to bash the WTS

if you are here to learn what the WTS is and what it did to you. you came to the best place. there are good people here to help. i hope you get to know some of them.
Billy

willy think: thread killer

Lollylou

Dear I Wish 4 Truth,
Well I think you found the truth of how JW's respond when we need help the most. They aren't there. I was 49 when I was df'd. I lost all my life-long friends. I didn't think I would make it without the WTBTS, so I trudged to those meetings for better than a year with no one speaking, giving me furtive looks, and even getting anonymous "love you" notes, and hang in there messages via my kids.
Well guess what? I got reinstated, I tried to pick up where I left off with my "friends" & meetings and all of a sudden I realized I didn't want to be there. I had found the truth and it wasn't there. I had learned too much while I was outside the organization. I found out there are wonderful loving people on the outside and there actually are people with a strong Christian faith that show true Christianity without bias. I too began to smoke, but I believe it was because nobody was going to tell I couldn't. I decided that things truly are between me and my God (thank God) and not everybody else. I will answer to God for my choices and never again worry more about men than Him. It is taking time, but I have made some friends and I believe they are more genuine than the ones I had for over thirty years in the WTBTS.
I agree. Do some research. Read "In Search of Christian Freedom" by Raymond Franz. It will help open your eyes to some wonderful possibilities.
E-mail me if I can help. [email protected]

ISP

Hey Wish, welcome to the board!
I hope you find some comfort here. Unlike the WTS we will respect your individuality.

Best Wishes

ISP

DF'd 4 smoking........feel unworthy;yet....

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