Victor Wrote,
My take on this is that unless a person is seeking and openly searching to end their JW misery it is an act of futility to detower a JW. We outsiders have nothing to offer JWs as a viable substitute for their logical and regimented life style. My perspective on this issue is from third position, to each his own live and let live. It is far better to just love and unconditionally tolerate the people while separating their dogma that has been programmed by mama.
With small reservations I agree with this statement. I do not believe that only those who are 'openly searching to end their JW misery', should eventually be led to see the failings of the WTS.
My own wife for example, was a very happy JW until I was able to gradually open her eyes to the doctrinal flaws of the WTS. She was not searching for a way out and often feels that she has been thrown from the ship into a life raft, pushed to sea and left with little direction in her life. All she knows at present after 45 years as an active and conditioned JW, is what she does not believe. She is having to attend to some very challenging emotions within herself at present, but she does not regret finding out the reality of what the WTS represents.
That having been said, I do believe that many are better left where they are, firmly ensconced within the WTS, which I know may be an unpopular view among many on this board. I want to quote part of a post which I recently made on another board in answer to similar questions raised. I apologise in advance for the length of the post:
Are all former Jehovah's Witnesses better off
for leaving the religion?
I suppose it depends on what you mean by being 'better off'. I was speaking with a single, seventy-two year old JW recently, who has no family to take care of her and is very frail. Her Congregation are very supportive and care for her needs. It would be cruel to even attempt to challenge here belief-system at this stage of the game, unless of course I was willing to fill the role of the JW's in her life. I suspect hundreds of thousands of JW's are caught in a similar situation as this person in one way or the other.
My own feeling is that before one begins the process of leaving the JW's, they should make sure that they have planned for the repercussions of their exit and established a 'life' to slip into. This would require leading a 'double-life' for a while as a person plans their finances, friends, employment and belief system etc. for the day that they leave.
Are some Jehovah's Witnesses better off being
JWs? Conversely, might some former JWs have been
better off remaining in the Watchtower religion?
I hate to say admit this but yes, I think some are better off as JW's.
Just one example that springs to mind is a young First Nations JW that I first met in the 70's. Alchoholic parents, sexually and physically abused for years, barely able to communicate, living on the streets, selling herself for dimes, unhealthily overweight, a complete no-hoper. A particularly loving JW couple took an interest in her and patiently cared for her.
I next saw her twenty years later, now a beautiful women, married with two wonderful children of her own, confident and assured. It was hard to imagine that this was the same person. I suspect we can anticipate the answer if we were to ask her whether she is better off as a JW.
The problem with this scenario however is that it has a verso and many of us can illustrate opposite viewpoints with as many experiences.
The issue is complex and I feel that XJW's often wish to extract the JW from the clutches of the WTS for many reasons, not all of them healthy. Many have their own agenda and play out a scenario of personal angst and frustration on the lives of others. It is after all much more gratifying to think that we are exposing the horrors of the WTS motivated by nobility than out of a base sense of personal revenge!
Best regards - HS
