Meeting with Elders - but not about me (page 2)

BonaFide

I wonder why I come across as juvenile?

Anyhow, the girl is about 30 years old, the other two were a little younger. The elder is 48 or 49.

BF

When I first came back from my missionary assignment, I was assigned by the C.O. to deal with a molestation accusation case. We had to call the police and make a report. The Legal Department at Bethel gave us strict instructions. I felt weird because of all the rules, like we had to call New York on a landline, and we couldn't identify ourselves when we called the police. But I still felt it must somehow have God's spirit to handle the matter like this.

Now I realize that the Society was protecting itself.

I should have done a lot of things better. That's why I testified against that elder, I just hated to see more people suffer when I could do something about it.

I have noticed that a couple of you do not think I am for real, or my background is for real. I could give my name, but what would that accomplish? I am known pretty well in three languages in this area. In past topics, I feel I may have given out too much information already.

If you PM me, then I can give as many details as you like about myself. I wouldnt like to be taken in by a fraud myself, I already was for many years.

BF

cognizant dissident

Females in their 20's and 30's are not "girls". They are adult women, and as such can decide for themselves whether they want to be touched or not. If they do, it is nobody's business but their own and if they don't, then it is sexual assault and they should feel free to report it to the authorities who will take it more seriously than the elders, hopefully. I'm not sure why anyone would feel it necessary to contact an adult woman's mother to tell her of the incident. As as adult, the woman should be free to share her experience with her mother is she chooses to do so, but otherwise should have her privacy respected. One thing about most elders, they really do not understand the concept of confidentiality and private information, unless it is their own ass they are trying to cover.

passwordprotected

Sorry, but I call BS on this one.

wozadummy

I think he's "touching over HIS underwear" when posting this lol

still_in74

i say lie and defend the bastard. eventually it will come out but at least the ones he has affected might get pissed off enough to get the hell out.You are doing them a favour.

If you get him DF'd they will walk around saying how jehovah is keeping his congregation clean....

LovesDubs

I believe you....because I was 30 years old in the congregation and being GROPED by an old man every frickin time I came close to him. I think maybe he thought he was coming across as a grandpa figure but it was disturbing to me...particularly since I hardly knew the guy. Whenever he was behind me in the literature lines, he had his hands on my waist or was rubbing my shoulders or whatever it was and its really hard to get out of that situation when you are surrounded by people and dont want to "hurt his feelings"...but after about the third time I DID go to the elders (I mean its NOT a police matter) and even cited the scripture that says that a man should not be touching a woman, particularly if its not his WIFE. I have never been met with such contempt in my life. Here I was 30 years old, not baptized yet, attractive tall blonde telling these haughty elders that a long time JW is doing something wrong. They obviously believed I was some kind of Jezebel.

They did talk to him, I found out a long time later...and when he died of a heart attack two years later, his grand son told me that it was MY FAULT that he died because I humiliated him and he was never the same after that!

So yeah....grown women or not, its a difficult situation to deal with in that borg.

yknot

Females in their 20's and 30's are not "girls". They are adult women, and as such can decide for themselves whether they want to be touched or not. If they do, it is nobody's business but their own and if they don't, then it is sexual assault and they should feel free to report it to the authorities who will take it more seriously than the elders, hopefully. I'm not sure why anyone would feel it necessary to contact an adult woman's mother to tell her of the incident. As as adult, the woman should be free to share her experience with her mother is she chooses to do so, but otherwise should have her privacy respected. One thing about most elders, they really do not understand the concept of confidentiality and private information, unless it is their own ass they are trying to cover.

Most women in America don't report rape let alone instances of sexual assualt or predatory harassment. To make an accusation against an Elder is serious business. Often the two-witness rule is used in against her in a he said/she said situation and she is told to not discuss the matters further or she will face a JC for gossiping and causing divisions. The fact that she sought justice often gets her 'marked' as well. In smaller or close-knit KHs it isn't unusual for parents of adults to be included. I am in my 30's and my actions have been reported to my mother (and she was expected to act accordingly) at this years DC. In fact most of my peer group's parents were 'instructed' to sit amongst us wayward adults on both Sat and Sunday to keep us from 'acting-up'. Many JW women have been brainwashed to go to the Elders instead of the authorities too. Let the Elders handle it and not bringing reproach on the organization (thus Jehovah) has been a standard schtick since before I was born. It is still widely practiced too. Emotionally speaking, JW women are not encouraged to mature into full adulthood (i.e. taking actions and responsibility for themselves), but to stay dependent on their male counterparts in full submission.

AudeSapere

Ynot wrote: Emotionally speaking, JW women are not encouraged to mature into full adulthood (i.e. taking actions and responsibility for themselves), but to stay dependent on their male counterparts in full submission.

That's because JW woman are not really viewed as individual, responsible humans but rather as property. (ie: When she marries, she submits to her 'husbandly owner'. Until, she marries, her parents are expected to keep her chaste and marriage-worthy.) I agree with both cog and ynot on this. Cog presents how it *should* be, but Ynot sums up how it actually *is* in the org. Back when I first moved out of my parents home (I was 22), my friend's elder husband came to visit. He was actually surprised that I had furniture, kitchen items and lamps. He just wandered around my apartment (shared with another jw) gobsmacked. He really thought that single woman only owned clothes and a couple of suitcases. My own mom tried to discourage me from fixing up my place. "What will be left for people to buy you when you get married?" I wasn't dating and, in fact, never married. If I followed my mom's advice, I'd still be sitting on egg crates instead of living in my own fully-furnished home. I felt it just slightly when I was *in* but it's only now, looking back that I see a strong independent streak in me as I did buck the misogynistic theocratic system. (Although 25 years ago, I was rather independent even by worldly standards. Too bad I didn't leave the indoctrination earlier. MAN!! I sure could have had some good fun!) Even with my own background which confirms ynot's comments, this one really surprised me:

I am in my 30's and my actions have been reported to my mother (and she was expected to act accordingly) at this years DC. In fact most of my peer group's parents were 'instructed' to sit amongst us wayward adults on both Sat and Sunday to keep us from 'acting-up'.

LOL~!! WTF~~!!! -Aude.

quietlyleaving

bonafide

a similar situation arose in a congregation that used the same hall as us.

2 poor sisters in their twenties and thirties (one a pioneer) were victims of a touchy feely elder (busts and bottoms). One victim decided to speak to the elders. The guilty elder denied it. Meanwhile it was noticed that the touchy feely elder was in the habit of taking a young well endowed 14 year old to play table tennis every week (just the 2 of them). Well our intrepid sister warned the girl's mother who immediately put a stop to the table tennis sessions.

The sister who told the 14 yr old's mother was disfellowshipped for slander. (she did warn a few others). The touch feely elder is still an elder.

ql

Meeting with Elders - but not about me

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