Who has UNconditional love? (page 2)

ashitaka

No. I would not allow myself to be abused, that is, my physical self, but love is a feeling, a feeling cannot be abused. You can love someone and not live with them.

ashi

joelbear

Andee,

Let me first state that I or no one has the ability to judge what one person feels for another as true love or not.

I believe that close relationships are probably the most frequent place that true love shows up.

I do not mean to diminish yours, ashi's or anyone's relationships, including mine. My point simply is that love is very special and rare, like truth and it should be valued very highly when we come across it and we should also work very hard ourselves to have it show up in our lives as often as possible.

When I write, I typically am pointing the words at myself and not at others, or at the least, myself and others.

Joel

Andee

Hey Joel,

I didn't think you diminished anything . It was your opinion.
I tend to be very pragmatic. I meant "poor guy" and "false love" tongue and cheek. Terms like "true love, "conditional love" always jump off the computer screen at me .

If someone think they have those things, I wish them well. I won't debate about whether or not someone has it. I'm not about to try and make a judgement about people I don't know. I am offering an opinion about a topic. So, perhaps, like in another thread I just read about the word "evil", we need to come to an agreement about what unconditional love is.

I am of the opinion that "unconditional" love means just that. NO conditions, period. NONE. Nada. The person love could do ANYTHING and the "unconditional lover" would not stop loving that person. That means NEVER stop loving them.

Andee

California Sunshine

Hi Patio,

To have unconditional love you must first know what love is I suppose.

My definition of love.....

To except someone for exactly who and what they are. Looking past their faults and seeing the good in them. Mostly the exceptance part.

When you think about it, its so simple.

When you start putting conditions on it it becomes complicated.

Love doesn't mean having to suffer at the hands of someone you love IE,An abusive husband or wife or drug using child. Sometimes you have to separate yourself from that, but that doesn't mean you don't still love them. Usually in the end the love you feel for this person is distroyed by them for reasons you don't know (their personal demons) or understand.

I guess my husband and I don't have unconditional love because we have one condition in our relationship. Faithfulness. I'm never tempted. I only see good when I look at him.

Perhaps I the closest I will come to unconditional love is with my children and grandchildren.

Good thread Patio.

Sunny

PS. Hawaii was great! Saw people I hadn't seen since my childhood. My brothers anniversary party was a great success and a great time was had by all.

minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

In a world of peace and love, music would be the universal language...Thereau

patio34

Thanks all for those interesting points. I agree with everyone and feel much clearer about my own understanding of "unconditional love."

IMHO, it seems that the only person who could be loved unconditionally would be God--if one believes in a deity.

On the other hand, one could still feel love for a person who had 'turned bad,' necessitating limiting contact.

This has been a good discussion. Thanks for participating in it.

Love to all!

Pat

siegswife

If someone that you love suddenly 'turns into' someone else, did you ever really love that person to begin with? How does someone change so drastically without you knowing it?

All of us have experienced being let down by other people, and those experiences have changed our opinion of the people involved. Changing that opinion can lead to changing feelings about the person. When we feel like we no longer love a person, isn't it really because we feel we never really knew them to begin with? Chances are we didn't. If we didn't know them did we ever really love them? I doubt it.

I've often had to grow in my relationship with my husband, and we've been through some really tough times. We even separated for awhile. But what it came down to was that we knew each other well enough to be able forgive any misconceptions we had about each other. We also loved each other enough to want to change the negative behavior that was coming between us. Unconditionally? I think so. I'll love him no matter what he does and always hope his life goes in a positive direction. I won't subject myself to abuse, though. I know he feels the same about me.

Mommie Dark

Love isn't an object that we pass around and share; it's an emotion, and a state of being.

'Unconditional love' doesn't mean irrevocable eternal love. It means there are no conditions set on the giving of love at the outset, thus: I will love you if you always do thus-and-so, or else it's off. Like the alleged Christian love we nattered about as JWs. We love you sis so long as you remain a good submissive sis.

Unconditional love is a gift we choose to share with those we love. If they make a mistake, our love should cover that mistake, or at least help them to feel better about it. If they need to take more than they can give, unconditional love helps us to keep giving without resentment, knowing that there is enough love to cover the need.

Of course even unconditional love can be killed, and it can die. Love of all sorts has to be nurtured in order to survive, just like love's meat vessels can shrivel and die without nurturance. But unconditional love means love freely offered without attachments or strings or codicils.

I'm probably the luckiest woman on the planet, as I am recipient of a wealth and glory of unconditional love from my darling husband and my three amazing sons. I've also received an outpouring of unconditional love from many of you good people in the last few weeks. I find it awe-inspiring. It has been a source of incredible joy and happiness to me to discover that there is such a bounty of unconditional love in the hearts of those around me.

And now I'm getting off the dang soapbox, it makes me dizzy standin up here!

Unconditional Christmas/Solstice love to all,
MD
'just another onionhead but got love dangit'

ashitaka

Right, MD. Nice, very sweet.

ashi

funkyderek

I have trouble understanding the idea of unconditional love. Surely, if you love someone, it's because of who and what they are. To claim to love someone not for their achievements, their personality, their morals or anything that makes us who we are, but just unconditionally, no matter what they are or do, seems to me to be insulting. I would rather be loved for who I am rather than because of some unexplained and ill-defined feeling.

--
Those who can induce you to believe absurdities can induce you to commit attrocities - Voltaire

COMF

IMHO, it seems that the only person who could be loved unconditionally would be God--if one believes in a deity.

I completely disagree. In order to love someone unconditionally, all you have to do is separate their actions from their person. For example, I have a nephew who is a holy terror. At 17, he is presently in boot camp (the next thing to prison). He has been on house arrest before, where he had to wear a collar on his ankle that alerts the authorities if he leaves his house. He is a constant danger to his younger brother when he is in the house, and now that he's older, I consider him a menace to his mother and grandmother (my mother) as well. I am aware that I may one day receive a call informing me that he has killed them all. I wouldn't be surprised. Yet I love my nephew.

I don't condone his behavior, but I know why he is like that. I watched some of the events that shaped his personality. I know that the poor guy never had much of a chance, and that he's never known love, or praise, or encouragement. His life has been a constant barrage of negatives; his anger and antisocial behavior is a desperate reaction to that.

I will always have deep sadness in my heart for Jimmy. There isn't much I can do to help him. I have done what little I can. When I visit them, I get him off to himself for a while (away from the criticism and nitpicking, and away from his brother who catches the trickle-down) and I spend a couple of hours or so just talking with him in an encouraging, nonjudgmental manner, accepting him for the person that he is. I don't know for sure that I've saved my mom's and sister's life by doing that, but it's possible... he hasn't killed them yet.

Unconditional love can be extended to anybody. And the person most needing of it, most deserving of it from you, is yourself. Never, never say that nobody can be loved unconditionally. You thereby make the basis of your own necessary self-love invalid, and give yourself the out to return to the world of guilt and self-loathing.

COMF

Who has UNconditional love?

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