To me the unconditional love we ex-JWs seek is actually non-judgmental love. We no longer want to be judged by how well we meet an external standard of conduct which has become ridiculous to us. No, even that isn't right. Rather, we no longer want to be judged by the ridiculous Pharisaical rules of a religious organization we can no longer support or trust.
We had a measure of self-love which enabled us to depart the mind-control of the Society and we know that we have value as human beings APART FROM our membership in the Watch Tower Organization. We have embraced self-determination and freed ourselves to set our OWN standards of conduct. Funnily enough, most of our basic moral values remain. It's usually just the little things that change (seen any good R-rated movies lately?) not the fundamental way we interact with fellow humans.
Yes, Pat, I do think there is unconditional love -- more along the lines of what MommieDark described. Because love is a feeling, we often love people who are unworthy of love by this or that external STANDARD. There are ALWAYS, at the very least, internal standards of conduct to which we expect the people we love to hold. When they do not, they disappoint, but we do not always stop loving them. When we love someone "unconditionally" we are willing to overlook their short-comings in many situations.
However, love CAN die. Even the unconditional kind. For the heart can only stand to ache so much, and then the brain shuts down love to a manageable level in order to preserve the psyche.
outnfree
When the truth is found to be lies
and all the joy within you dies ... -- Darby Slick, Somebody to Love