jamiebowers - Fully understand and I would do the samething in your shoes. My wife has never threatened me or herself at any stage. She has mid- range bi-polar. She still goes about her daily activity but has emotional cycles, doesn't have a regular sleep pattern most times. She cooks, cleans, drives most times, but has bad turns. It's like living with a very eccentric crazy aunt.....I hope this doesn't drag for years like your case but I feel like I just entered a very long storm season.
My Wife is mentally ill and does crazy things diary.
by Witness 007 66 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
J-ex-W
007 -- Try a google search for vitamin D3 and bipolar. Yes, I said D3. Until my neurologist mentioned this last week, I didn't even know different kinds of vitamin D exist.
-
Cheetos
Well first of all how old is your wife, is she in menopause that can make them Ape like mentally speaking that is.
Hootie Hoo,
-
Snoozy
Wow, sounds like my Mom! My dad took her to the Psychiatrist once and they told him she was just plain mean..but she was a lot like your wife? (Are you married to her?) She even had some shock treatments and they helped for a while..thats the only treatment they had in those days..so barbaric..poor Mom.
He just decided that it was for better or worse and she was his responsibility. Well it slowly got worse, but he took care of her till the day she died. Neglecting himself in the process. His heart gave out shortly after she died as he never had the heart by- pass the Drs. recommended years earlier. Mom said he couldn't have it so rather than face an argument or unsetting her..plus not wanting to leave her alone with anyone else..didn't have the operation. He died about 6 months later..his heart had all it could take.
He hid a lot of it from my brother and I . It wasn't until she died and we moved in with him to take care of him that he started talking about it. We both just cried.I felt so bad for him. He had missed out on so much in life.
I do remember when she was in her 40's she started seeing a old neighborhood family Dr and he started giving her B12 injections..I have read up on that and sometimes people can't absorb the vitamin any other way but injection. It is a nerve vitamin and she seemed almost normal during that time period. But when he died she no longer went for the shots and slowly returned to her "difficult" stage.Wouldn't it be ironic if that would have eventually cured her.
She also would go without sleeping and would let the dishes pile up in the kitchen. I remember coming home from school and going into the kitchen and doing the dishes and straightning up. She wouldn't even know I was home because she was in her own little world. Yet when I would come out of the kitchen she would become alert and go in there and put the dishes back in the sink and say they were still dirty!..I eventually quit doing anything around the house.I moved out shortly after that and got married. I didn't see much of Mom and Dad and the brother that was still living at home as I started studing and became a witness not too long after I moved. My brother told me stories though..he had it rough till dad retired and stayed home with mom. My brother moved out.
This is a time period when I really hate the witness religion. It told me I should leave my family and embrace the witnesses as my new family. I very seldom went to visit or help Dad. For that I will always feel guilty. I think I hate myself more for letting them lure me into their Witness religion.What an idiot I was.
So you really ring a bell for me. You have brought back memories that were long ago buried.But as I am older and wiser now I want to tell you..you are NOT doing her a favor by not getting help. She may be like that the rest of her life..and you will be the one taking care of her. Are you ready to give up your life for her?..Better or worse?"
You cannot help her..you cannot make her a productive member of society..you cannot make her enjoy life..you cannot take away all her demons..not literal ones but things that bother her intensly...so much so they interfere with her normal life. She needs a professional. Not you.
My dad always felt guilty.. like her being that way was possibly his fault..he always wondered if it was something he had done..do you feel that way? Is guilt keeping you from seeking the help for her she needs?
I often wonder what would have happened if my father had left my mom like my brother and I always tried to get him to do.
I remember a time when she actually held down a job and was almost normal. But usually on sundays she would start her ranting..but remarkably she would be OK at work the next day.
Did he do the "Right" thing staying with her all those years and giving up any life he might have had?
She had alienated him from all his family and friends..they were evil..(sound familiar?..and they weren't even witnesses)
I often wonder what would have happened if things were different.If she had got help...The funny thing was that they had moved to a different area when my dad retired..she developed a bleeding ulcer and had to go in the hospital..when she came out she was normal for the first time..she had stopped smoking and started eating right and gained weight..she looked healty for the fist time. it lasted about 2 years ..she started smoking again and slowly slipped back into the dark hole she was in before.
You have a choice to make..either get her the help you and her both desperately need or commit yourself to a life of hell taking care of her..the way it sounds if will eventually come to that.
Best of luck on your decision..
Snoozy..
-
Witness 007
Snoozy wow thanks for sharing. I hope thats not my fate too....maybe.....I just had a few drinks as my wife had a major anger tantrum. I was playing on my PS2 and she wanted to try the game. I tried explaining how to use the controls and she was like "DONT TELL ME....so I let her go and when she lost she went nuts and threw the control away and abused me....I told her to stay in her side of the house as I can see she is having an "Agro" cycle and it's best to leave her alone. Maybe I"ll go have a spa bath and relax with my drink. This sucks. And guilt oh God Snoozy I worked hard so we have a paid off house no debt, no stress, but maybe I could have been better, it's hard with her personality...I grew up without a father she claims her father molested her, all these issues are coming out now....she said she awoke with her top up...sleeping with dad or something like that...any how she was moved between families as her mum went overseas and this really frigged her up...I'm not that strong but we have to endure and do our best....I hope to see better times. I have two dogs who give me much love and affection which are my only true friends now as the Witnesses have pissed off. Even my best "brother" buddy from childhood doesn't call because I told him the Watchtower was full of false prophecies.....even though in the 1990's when HE left the truth I still talked to him...friggin hypocite my "brother."
-
bisous
At the very least 007, you should find some outside activities you could get involved with to find some new friends ... you need to replace your faulty xjw friendships with some new supportive relationships. It isn't necessary to get 'heavy' with them and discuss your situation unless/until you are ready to do so... just some lightweight hanging out, sports(?), or other interest sharing would probably give you some welcome relief for a few hours a week.
And remind you that there is a more balanced existence out there. Might even build you up a bit to support your spouse more.
You can always come here and rant to get the shit off your chest! hang in there... -
Snoozy
Bisous is right. Don't isolate yourself. Get out and meet others or maybe there is a support group of some sort in your area?
I love and miss both my Mom and Dad but my heart aches for what they could have had. It is up to you to have the best life possible for yourself. Don't settle for less. If you isolate yourself from others because of her you will start thinking her behaviour is 'Normal". Get out and do stuff...and stay away from the JW loonies...They will tell you she has 'Demons"...
Snoozy..having a sleepless night...(Some teens were doing lawn jobs outside around 2:30 A.M. and I can't get back to sleep..)
-
Hortensia
Snoozy, what a sad story. I know a similar story - an 80 year old man who last year took a hammer and tried to kill his crazy wife. She was mean and crazy and had been for years. Staying with her because he felt responsible to take care of her ruined any life he might have had. He never told the kids how bad it was until the police carted him off to jail. Imagine an 80 year old man in very poor health in jail for attempted murder. Then his daughter began reading his diary and found out her mother had been crazy and abusive for years, and he had told no one. My friend knew her mother was crazy, but the parents put on a good show and she didn't realize that the mom was that crazy toward the dad. Oh my. What a wasted life. Witness 007, only you can decide what to do, but I hope you put yourself first and protect yourself. Don't wait like I did until my husband actually tried to kill me and then tried to kill a cop. This is all very painful. Please get some counseling for yourself.
-
Witness 007
Thanks Hortensia I will. Today Wed Nov 12 she was crying when I woke up and talked alot during the day about non-sense which I find hard to listen to...long stories that go no-where...alittle agressive. She organised a Witness party but the house is a bit messy? One Sister said she's coming even though we haven't been to meetings for a good while...my wife said she wants the bookstudy in our home even though I explained we are in-active and it wouldn't happen she insisted....
-
faundy
I'm afraid I'm disappointed with this thread and the responses of some of the posters.
I'm sure that mental illness is difficult to live with in such extremes, but however hard it may be for you, it is ten times worse for your wife. She will be confused, frustrated and desperately lonely. I work with such cases as this all the time and your wife needs to be in a hospital, where people at least care for her welfare and don't simply complain that the curtains aren't up at the window.
Think how many thousands of couples deal with alzheimers, dementure, bi-polar, schizophrenia, personality disorder... you're not alone. And there are support groups, etc. But flirting with SweetStuff when your poor wife is living through a nightmare every day? I think it's shameful and disgusting, particularly to parade it all over the web.
Have some respect, both for yourself and your poor wife, who needs urgent medical help.