Conversations with my 81 yr.old JW mom - Implementing a little Steve Hassan

by flipper 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  SKEETER 1- I think a lot of older ones are scared to admit to themselves ths whole thing has been a lie to them. They truly experience cognitive dissenence. Interesting experience you shared about your mother- really sad.

  NO MORE KOOL-AID- It is sad that people have put their entire lives on hold for something that will never happen. I think a lot of older JW's are still wondering why they are still in this present system of things ! I feel sorry for them.

  VERY STUPID 77- Hang in there with your husband. The slow and steady win the race. ( Old expression ) I think it's good how you are dropping off little thoughts , just a little bit at a time for him to think on. If we do it easy like that and in a spirit of love , and not confrontational - then our relatives will be more apt to respect and listen to us, as opposed to cramming it down their throats , so to speak. Keep doing what you are doing - I feel you will reach your husband in time. It just takes time. Good luck to you, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  Black Sheep

  My 80+ parents keep trying to polish the WT's cup when I am around.

  Dad brought up the bloodless liver transplant the other day.

  Me, "Yes, it was on the 'Knocking Doco' on TV a few months ago. One thing they didn't mention was that, when I was a kid, organ transplants were banned and that JWs would have let their kids die rather than have a transplant."

  My Dad disappeared out of the room and my mother denied it.

  I pointed out that it was a disfellowshipping offence and that I distinctly remember my mother making comments about transplants at the time.

  She lied, saying it was because they used blood to do transplants. I corrected her, saying that the WT portrayed it as cannabalism.

  "Times change." was her only reply.

  I didn't bother to bring up any of the many replies that such an inane reply warrents.

  We have both had heart attacks recently and none of us need the stress.

  Cheers

  Chris
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  jgnat

  Thanks, flipper. I think it is very important to record dialogues like this to show people how to break their loved ones out of the Witness mind set. Even if it is for a few moments in a day, that flash of their natural personality shining through makes it all worthwhile.
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  Awakened at Gilead

  Its great that she is willing to have a normal discussion with you...

  My mom, although younger (64), is perfectly willing to talk with me about anything anti-JW and listens to all my "rants"... the elders right now are giving her hell to get her to stop talking with apostate me... While she still somewhat believes the "truth", it's nice to see her thinking for herself...

  And to any who think that I am trying to change my Mom and that I should stop... she already had her doubts about the WTS when I announced taht I was exiting the JWs.... now she has someone she can discuss her doubts with... the ones that are forcing her hand are the stupid elders that are pressuring her to reject her own son, which she refuses to do...

  Kudos to you Flip! And I agree that your mom is setting an example for the younger generation of your family in being reasonable with you...

  A@G
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Hey Flipper!

  I'm way behind you as far as personal freedom... at least my mind is free.

  My parents are still "in", but are more and more understanding that I was misled with false hopes and am starting to fade. As things have developed, they understand that many of my generation are disillusioned by the ever-changing "truth". They don't push things so much anymore. How can they? Whatever they push today will be changed tomorrow! I can often "head them off at the pass" by reminding them with things like "Wall Street isn't Babylon the Great. The Great Tribulation hasn't started at all. We're still a long way away from all religion being destroyed, even if all church property was taxed tomorrow." I guess I'm not trying to rip them completely out of the cult, because they would just look for another cult probably. However, they don't drink everything the dubs are serving, and they don't like the handling of the pedophile cases, and see the flaws in some of the WT logic... thanks to points taken from members like Blondie, Leolaia, and Mary... to mention the ladies in particular.

  Along with other family and friends that have faded, we keep the conversation lively by talking about lots of other things besides WT poop. I think the "believers" appreciate that since they don't seem to get along with the other "believers" that well these days.

  B the X
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  flipper

  BLACK SHEEP- I agree with you. We who have parents in their 80's need to be careful not to stress them . I'm sorry you had a heart attack ! Hope you are doing better ! It is hard for our aged witness parents to talk about any negatives regarding the JW cult. That's why I have tried to stay positive in my chats with my mom.

  JGNAT- I agree that only if it's for a " few moments " as you say - it's good to get witnesses thinking with their authentic personality. Some day something might click.

  AWAKENED at GILEAD- It is great that your mom is still being authentic and supporting you and conversing after you left the witnesses ! Very good news. It doesn't suprise me the elders are trying to turn her against you. Damned elders are very subversive - don't I know THAT from experience ! Thanks for the kind words - I too think my mom is setting an example to my younger JW relatives on how to treat fading witnesses. Hopefully it will continue
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  flipper

  BILLY the EX- BETHELITE- Het Billy, good to hear from you. I'm glad your parents aren'y buying all the BS from the WT society anymore ! That's great news ! It sounds as if you have a decent relationship with them and you are subtle about how you drop off hints to them concerning the demise of the organization. I'm happy that you and your relatives can be authentic with each other and you ; without driving you nuts with the JW marketing attacks ! Hope things continue well for you ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  hamsterbait

  Flipper -

  Are you now an atheist or have you found another religious hope?

  If you are an atheist, why would you want to destroy the faith and hope of a little old lady in her eighties who is undoubtedly aware of how near death is?

  If you have found another religious hope, how can you be certain that in destroying your mother's faith she will want to share the creed you now believe in?

  I say in the case of elderly people there is not a lot of point in trying to make them reject da troof, only so they can die in despair and disappointment.

  HB
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  flipper

  HAMSTERBAIT- I'm not trying to destroy my mother's faith if you have read my responses to others posts on this thread earlier. I'm glad she is secure with her faith, and I would never change that. But it is always good to get people to think and use their minds. In this way it helps her see she doesn't have to shun people - and my motive ( as I stated to other earlier) is that other younger witness members of my family will see her example of being able to have open conversations with her fading ex-witness son and it will open up more family communication. I'm not looking to convert her. It would never happen anyway. I was easy in how I talked with her. I always use tact
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  IP_SEC

  Good on ya flipper! Im behind you.

  I dont mean to sound callous or harsh but "If you are too old to learn something new and change, you prolly just as well not use up anymore oxygen"--- Matt Foster 2008

  PS: I mean that as a metaphor