My boyfriend is a JW (page 3)

JAVA

Hi all--it's been awhile since posting on the forum. Welcome to Little Red Birdie, too.

I had a similar experience while in high school as peaceloveharmony expressed. I enjoyed my "worldly" friends a lot, and I fell head-over-heels in love with a Catholic girl my junior year. I'm grateful for that bit of a normal life as a JW youth.

I think many of us with Web sites receive posts from folks like LRB, and older people regularly. JWs appear normal (well except for You Know & Fredhall) and many are attracted to the well trimmed and/or modest look presented by some Witnesses. Also, many JWs limit their sexual behavior to kissing and petting (except when Kent was a JW) outside of marriage. Qualities some find appealing. It's only after an outsider is into a relationship with a JW that they see how loony the religion really is. This in turn generates numerous inquires from the "I'm in love with a JW, but..." category.

Timothy Campbell created an interesting link called "I'm In Love with a Jehovah's Witness!" because of the inquires he received. It's at http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/inlove.htm That site might be helpful to you, LRB.

peaceloveharmony

Java! great to see you was just thinking about you yesterday. how have you been? hope all is well.

love
harmony

DazedAndConfused

little_red_birdie, I apologise for immediately distrusting your post. That was terribly unfair of me. I also feel that I need to apologise to everyone else also.

JBean

Hi Red & welcome! You sound very intelligent and kind... this may help with your bfriend... don't give up on him. Whatever else you can do for him at this time in his life, if he's not already baptized into his faith, CONVINCE him NOT TO GET BAPTIZED. He may get slack about this decision not to get baptized, but they'll have NO control over him. Once he gets baptized... forget it! They've got him in emotional blackmail. This is very important!!!! I have family who were raised in the faith but never got baptized... the most JW's can say about them is "... well, there's always hope..." They get treated 100% better than those family members who are in the faith (baptized) and decided it's not for them... and want to quietly back away: well forget about it!!! NOT happening without much heartache. Keep posting! Look foward to it!

JAVA

Hello harmony,

Thanks for the thoughts. I've been well and involved in various projects at home and the office. I'm also trying to catch up on some reading and research that's been on the back burner far too long. It's nice seeing friends I've known for awhile on the forum, and to inject a comment from time to time. Great hearing from you!

rhett

Speaking as a former JW who was in the exact same position of your boyfriend there are only three words I can tell you; "run", "run", and "run". I would do everything possible to get away from this guy. If there is only one group of things that I could change that I have ever done is the way that I treated some really wonderful members of the opposite sex when I was younger. He'll be making you play the games that a JW plays like no birthdays, christmas, valentines day, or anything like that. You've already talked about how he's lied to you about how his parents are always having to use the phone. What else will lie to you about?
You may be able to help this guy see the truth about the cult that he's in buy I doubt it. Has he ever tried to talk to you about his religion and convince you that stuff you believe is wrong? He probally does like you and doesn't want to put up with all the hassling from his parents. What could he do to get them to quit? Well, they wouldn't bug him as much if you were a JW too. Not only that but when he goes to his meetings he hears all about how great it is when you bring new people into the cul...religion. Don't let him change you. You seem like a bright girl with a good future. Don't throw it away for a loser.
You may actually be able to help him but I doubt it. At least not for quite some time. Look, plain and simple, save yourself the time, trouble, and hassle. All you'll get out of it is pain, hurt, and frustration. Trust me, I was your boyfriend more than a couple years ago and that's all any of my really great girlfriends ever got. When it comes down to it, you are the most important person in your life. Don't let some schmuck slow you down and mess with your life. Before you worry about saving your boyfriend you need to save yourself.

I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.

little_red_birdie

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for responding to my post. I didn't expect such an overwhelming response, and variety of opinions. It seems like your responses mirror all the thoughts that run through my head. No wonder I find this situation so confusing.

No, my boyfriend is not baptized. For the time being he has refused to be. He is not trying to "suck me in" in any way what-so-ever. He hardly talks to me about his religion, he only really talks to my mom about it. I know he is pressing the limits, because we do exchange presents.... his birthday is on Sunday (which he is excited about) and I am giving him a present on friday, as, I won't be seeing him on the weekend, of course. I know he has put up with some grief from his parents, and the "elders" about me, but we are both comfortable holding hands in front of his parents now.

I have a lot more to read and think about, and I will be posting more when I have time. I have homework and dance classes first.

oh, and thanks for thinking I write so well.... maybe I should print this off to show to my L.A. teacher so she will raise my mark to 85%! LoL

ashitaka

Well,

If he's willing to take some heat for you, dust yourself off, flip his parents and the 'elders' the bird, and enjoy your time together with him.

ashi

Farkel

little_red_bird,

You are a lot wiser at your tender age than many, many adults I know.
You'll make the right decision, I'm sure.

best wishes,

Farkel

"I didn't mean what I meant."

nanane

Hi,

I have a problem too,

what can I do if the guy( I love this boy since last year ) he said to me:

we can remain friends, you and me is not certainly a good relation even I love you....

he said he love me but it's my best friend than I love he!!!

What can I do.

Okay I have 16years olds I'm young but the true love is one moment in your life no?

You have a problem you too, but I dont know what can I say because for me the love is the best things...even i dont know what can i do!

So sorry for my poor english

-xxx-

friendly

a little girl with a big problem!

My boyfriend is a JW

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