Phobias, Taboos, and Perversion (page 4)

AndersonsInfo

I just posted the following on another thread and I thought that it might fit here too as food for thought.

Leon Festinger first developed his cognitive dissonance theory "in the 1950s to explain how members of a cult who were persuaded by their leader, a certain Mrs Keech, that the earth was going to be destroyed on 21st December and that they alone were going to be rescued by aliens, actually increased their commitment to the cult when this did not happen. The dissonance of the thought of being so stupid was so great that instead they revised their beliefs to meet with obvious facts: that the aliens had, through their concern for the cult, saved the world instead."

http://www.ciadvertising.org/student_account/spring_02/adv382j/tcornwell/paper1.htm

Sound familiar? Bible Students expected Christ to come in a second advent in 1874, but when he didn't, they didn't want to appear "stupid" so revised the teaching and said he did come but it was an invisible presence which was better for all concerned, etc. Then not wanting to again appear "stupid" pointed to 1914, then 1925, 1975, 1995, 1998, etc.

Another point: Perhaps because of our nature we came into the organization and stayed too long because of a strong need for certainty because certainty is a comfortable feeling. This feeling can lead to smugness and arrogance, both attitudes JWs are known to have an abundance of. The feeling of uncertainty is so uncomfortable that it leads to anxiety. So JWs tolerate the disappointment and lies so to feel comfortable again. Also, to kill that horrible feeling of uncertainty, which makes for anxiety, too many JWs take anti-anxiety meds.

Barb

jgnat

Thank you, Big Tex and Barbara Anderson, for mentioning again the key motivational tools that the Watchtower Society uses to first suck people in and then keep them in. Cognitive Dissonance is a theory that has been tested out in practice, and can manifest itself from such mundane activities as buying a lemon and declaring it is a peach (who wants to admit they made an expensive mistake), to living next door to a concentration camp and swearing no knowledge of what goes on there (the horror is too much to bear).

Where Cognitive Dissonance also fits in to the Witness model, I think, is in their recruitment technique. The six month recruitment process is a pretty expensive investment of time for both student and study leader. After six months, can the student comfortably walk away, declaring the whole experience a "lemon"? Or are they more likely to declare it a "peach" to family and friends, and go on to baptism, hoping that their doubts will be resolved in the indefinite future?

Consider also a parent facing the loss of a child due to the blood doctrine. I think this is where extreme Cognitive Dissonance may manifest. The parent has to either face the reality that their choices resulted in a horrible death, which they could have prevented, or they can pretend that Jehovah or the doctors will somehow make it all right. I've read accounts where Witness parents are frozen to indecision because of the horrible consequence of their beliefs. And I've read the brave stories of ex-Witnesses, here, who coming to terms with their failure as a parent, bore the full brunt of their responsibility and grief. The second option is definitely more painful. I think this explains the power of Cognitive Dissonance to allow a person to stay comfortable with their choices.

Hassan mentions groups more extreme than the Witnesses in their recruitment techniques. Some of these organizations conduct days-long seminars where the person is bombarded with the new life. It's a pressure-cooker recruitment. The Watchtower society, on the other hand, takes at least six months of incremental recruitment, deferring questions and challenges to an indeterminate future. Independent thinking is deferred indefinitely.

I have a theory that there is more success in weaning cultists from some of these extreme groups - quickly - because the indoctrination process is similarly quick. Fast in - fast out.

On the other hand, the slower "boil the frog" process that the Watchtower society uses, means that the awakening typically is a slow weaning and "waking up" over months, as independent thinking and questioning is gradually introduced. Slow in - slow out.

I've seen exceptions to this rule, however. Sometimes a single revelation (you can't trust the society) leads to cascading discoveries that only takes a few days.Awakened, the exiting Witness starts questioning one assumption after the other and finds out that the society is wanting on all counts. The classic "Crisis of Consicence" helps the exiting Witness in a most kind way.

Now, the phobia/taboo cycle I see being used by the society as a secondary tool for control. It's not the primary tool, but it's definitely in their arsenal. Don't they use this opening line frequently at the householder's door, "Wouldn't you agree that the state of the world today is declining?" I'd say this feeds in to people's fear that the future might take away their security and well-being.

Once in the society, a whole new bunch of fears is inserted. There's Satan and his wily ways. There's non-Witness family and friends. There's churches and crosses and santas and demonised second-hand clothing. The society reinforces these fears regularly. I've noted that a Witness in a social event will react violently to any negative experience, well beyond the power of the event. Why? They've been primed to expect bad experiences. Afterwards, they will use that experience as a reason to avoid future association. The Witness becomes more isolated from the "world" and dependent on the society.

BT: I believe that the flip side of anger, is fear. Of which a phobia is a more extreme expression.

I'd be interested in exploring this further, Big Tex. My take has been that depression is anger turned inward. So I see depression as the flip side of anger.

I think phobias are more closely related to aggression than anger. Fear activates an adrenaline response, and we react quickly, without thought. (Oo...oo...a spider. Stamp it out of existence!) Or am I just arguing semantics here?

Now, phobias can come out of a prolonged or intense experience, or out of a single incident of excited imagination. Fear could stem from ignorance. But everyone reacts differently, and there is no saying who will become fearful of what. If a fear is repeatedly reinforced, however, it will definitely be more difficult to overcome. From what I've read about Cognitive Therapy also, if the fear is never questioned, it won't be overcome either.

Perhaps this is where the society imposes phobias. By repeatedly describing the hazards of the "world" and then providing regular examples, they reinforce this phobia on the congregation over and over.

BT: shame-based...("You should ..." "Are you sure ...") as well as black-and-white thinking. The words "all" and "never" (an extension of "us" and "them") are often used in a shame-based setting

Bang-on, BT. That word should, I watch for it everywhere now. I notice in the Watchtower publications they use third-person objective voice whenever they talk about how people should behave. It's never stated baldly. Here's a sample Watchtower article about truthfulness. By the way, the introductory paragraphs begin by slamming the rest of the world's religions for teaching falsehoods. I've highlighted the third-person voice.

10 ...When we are known to be truthful, others believe what we say; they trust us. However, if we are caught telling even a single lie, others may doubt the truthfulness of anything we say in the future. An African proverb states: "One falsehood spoils a thousand truths." Another proverb says: "A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth."
11 Truthfulness means more than merely telling the truth. It is a way of life. It defines who we are. We make the truth known to others not only by what we say but also by what we do. "Do you . . . the one teaching someone else, not teach yourself?" asked the apostle Paul. "You, the one preaching ‘Do not steal,’ do you steal? You, the one saying ‘Do not commit adultery,’ do you commit adultery?" (Romans 2:21, 22) If we are to impart truth to others, we must be truthful in all our ways. Our reputation for truthfulness and honesty will have a powerful impact on how people respond to what we teach.
12 Young ones among Jehovah’s servants also understand the importance of being truthful. In a school essay, Jenny, who at the time was 13 years old, wrote: "Honesty is something I truly value. Unfortunately, not many people are completely honest today. I promise myself that I will always maintain honesty in my life. I will also be honest even if telling the truth won’t immediately benefit me or my friends. I make sure that my friends are those who tell the truth and are honest people.
Watchtower August 1, 2003, Page 16 "Imitating the God of Truth"

Doesn't it remind you of Nurse White who comes in to fluff your pillows, asking if "we" are feeling better today? Often the society will couch a statement by giving it as a testimonial. Someone else said it. By comparison, here's a direct statement:

Be truthful so you will be trusted.

Note also that the society admonishes it's followers to be truthful so that they will be a better witness. Is that really the chief reason to be truthful? In order to recruit more members? Or is truthfulness more related to being an excellent human being? Truthfulness comes with it's own reward. But the society is not primarly concerned with helping people become their best for their own sake, is it? Note also that the snippet finishes with another slam at the "world". Again, the fingers are pointing elsewhere, at the rest of the religions and "worldly" friends.

I've noticed a few contributors on this thread here have mentioned the many, many rules for the little things. Like swearing or saying "luck". Living becomes a minefield of do's and don'ts. Perhaps all these rules further isolates the Witness, making them "different" than the world and distracting them from what is really missing. Like a meaningful life.

BT: So I don't know if it's fair to say phobias are unreasonable. It may be that we, on the outside, cannot see or hear or feel, what the person on the inside sees or hears or feels (or remembers). As you imply, the connections in the brain pathways, why two can experience the same thing and yet remember and feel it differently is not easily explainable.

I suggest that by definition, a phobia is unreasonable. A phobia is a fear that crosses the line in to territory it doesn't belong. Fears can be reasonable. We have the fear response to protect us from sabre-tooth tigers and bill collectors. Fear of mounting debt makes us work harder, save more, and make smart choices for our future.

But of course, if fear crosses the line by the above example, one becomes a miser. I remember reading a guinnes world record for the worst miser, Hetty Green. Her miserliness cost her son his leg.

So regardless how real the fear may be in the brain, as it sometimes seems to cycle in an endless loop of misery, I maintain we have to evaluate our fears for reasonableness. The brain doesn't always cycle in this dysfunctional way. But if it does, it pays to get off that train.

Mandette

Jgnat,

You've really made me think and I thank you for that. As I sit here at work trying not to get teared up I think of all things over the years that the JW's have caused in my life either directly or indirectly.

When I was 20 yrs old, my best friend was df'd. I was disassociated. The elders told us that we should not have any contact with each other if we wanted to be reinstated. Michelle and I talked and decided to follow this advice. It was the worse advice I was ever given. Last Sunday was the 20th anniversary of my dear Michelle's death. Because I listened to those nasty elders I lost out on the last few months of Michelle's life. She became ill suddenly and died within 3 weeks. There's definitely still anger there even 20 yrs later. So I'm not sure if that's taboo or what with HAVING to listen to the elders especially when you're 20 yrs old and either don't know any better or your powers of thinking and reasoning aren't fully developed yet.

As far as taboos...the dating thing. I've had friends of mine that have never been JW's tell me that I'm socially inept due to my upbringing. I've never learned to date. Now here at 40 yrs of age, I wonder what is wrong with me that "normal" non-JW men see and shy away from. Now THAT was hard to type too. And no I don't have horns, webbed feet and an eye in the middle of my forehead.

The pain from these taboos, phobias, etc go so deep(fear of Armageddon, etc).

Once again Jgnat thanks for making me think....

Mandette

sweetstuff

It boggles my mind that so many marriages can go on for years and years without the partners honestly speaking up about what matters to them. What's the point of such a partnership if you give up any chance for intimacy? It's such a safe, warm, and wonderful place to know that you can share the worst of what you are, and your partner still cares about you and still wants to be with you.
I say the risk is worth it. Otherwise, I might as well replace the husband with a dog.

Agreed. Without open communication, what is the point?

jgnat

Amen, sweetsuff.

Mandette, you've paid me a high compliment. I like helping people think...deeply. I think I can make you feel a little better. I met my hubby in my forties and I was totally clueless to the dating thing, too. I finally used a dating service to find someone. I broke all the rules and fell - hard - for the first man I dated. I guess that's what I get for living the celibacy game for twenty years.

Friends have noted that JW's tend to get intimate and committed far too fast. Probably because the middle part of the relationship - cuddling and petting - is indulged only marriage is in the picture. So JW's tend to jump in too fast. You might be simply scaring the guys off by jumping in too quick.

Try clubs and dating services. Go in as if you expect nothing except friendship. At least that is all that this equally inept dater can think of.

Phobias, Taboos, and Perversion

AndersonsInfo

jgnat

Mandette

sweetstuff

jgnat

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