Way too funny all!!!HaHaHa
This one comes around each tear, but I always get a kick out of it.
Enjoy:-)
Boozy
Dear Santa:
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred Since the beginning of the month (while filled with illusion I wrote you this letter)
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.
I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me.
When my parents, my brothers, and my friends and I would go on errands, I would even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity.
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH! YOU'VE TAKE ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR; TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAM TREE.
AS IF YOU HADN'T TRICKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHIT HEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY DAMN TOYS THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIT FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR OR I'LL FUCK YOU UP!
I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS AND SCARE THEIR ASSES AWAY SO YOU WILL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTH POLE JUST LIKE I HAVE TO, SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FUCKING BE.
YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG SO WATCH YOU BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH!
SINCERELY,
LITTLE JOHNNY