Anyone ever get panicky when they 1st started missing a lot of meetings?

by cognac 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  COGNAC- It is easy to understand how you feel this way. You were in such a " routine " for years in which the witness cult made all of us feel " guilt " for not going to meetings and " fear " of repercussion from the elders if we kept " not attending ". The witness organization taught us that we would be unacceptable in " Jehovah's " eyes if we drifted away , become allegedly " spiritually weak ". Or that you will suffer and die !

  Even though consciously you now realize that is NOT true - still due to the witness " programming " that is inbedded in your subconscious mind - it causes " triggers " or " phobia's " of what might happen to you to occur ; which are not real . In reality you will be much happier in time raising your child with freedom of mind. I highly recommend reading Steve Hassan's book - " Releasing the Bonds - Empowering People to Think For Themselves " - it gives many examples ( including those of Jehovah's Witnesses ) of how they overcame the phobia's and fears instilled from years in the cult. It is going to take you some time to fully expunge the JW mindset from your bloodstream - you were raised in it from birth like me - however really think about reading this book. It will help you understand why you still get panicky at times. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  happy1975

  Oh my gosh, like you would not believe. I would sit at home trying to distract myself with tv until the time when the meeting was due to be over, then i'd feel anxious that someone would call me or (god forbid) stop by and I'd have to come up with a quick excuse. I cannot tell you how good it feels not to have to go through that anymore. Of course, that was when I thought it was the Truth.

  Happy
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  snowbird

  Yeah, I was panicky at first too. When I started missing meetings week by week and month by month, though, the panickiness went away.

  Hello, Little Big Brother!

  Long time, no hear.

  Good to have you posting again.

  Sylvia
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  LouBelle

  1 can get panicy, because tho you may not have a problem with it, you know others will. This could lead to questions, ppl poking their nose into your business and demanding explanations.
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  jws

  Panicky? I don't think so. I started missing because I started running late. I didn't want to walk in 20 minutes late so I would just skip it. At first, it was like "WOW! Where did all of this free time come from"?

  Panicky was when I'd show up again hoping I wasn't going to be questioned and looked down on.

  I suppose when missing meetings became a habit, there was a nagging voice in my head telling me I needed to go back at some point. Every Sunday or Thursday night it would feel strange to be at home. But then I read Ray Franz's book and it vanished.
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  TrekkerJW

  I didn't get panicky when I missed meetings while I was still in. But I did feel a bit anxious when I started missing meetings with the idea that I wasn't going back.
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  undercover

  That's how they condition you to feel. And it shows you how well it works. Even though you knew that you weren't doing anything wrong you felt something wasn't right. For many JWs, they feel that anxiety and they feel that they have to get back quickly to keep from feeling that way.

  I felt that way also when I first started missing meetings but before I realized I was onto the real truth about the "truth". Later when I knew I was on my way out and as I continued my fade and was showing up at the occasional meeting, slowly fading, I started to feel panicky when I showed up at the hall. I was breaking free but the return to the site of so much conditioning was causing anxiety.

  It gets better over time. I'm to the point now that I see the Kingdom Hall as just another church building. I went to a wedding and funeral at the hall last year and wasn't bothered a bit by being there.
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  sass_my_frass

  Briefly, it didn't last very long though. Now I don't know how I found the time.
• 

  shamus100

  Congrats for taking the next step, Conac!

  I felt the same way. Keep it up - years from now you'll never even think about it.
• 

  jaguarbass

  I think I went through a process when I left the tower.

  First there is denial.

  Denial that they were lying and that they were not the troof.

  I ended up spending 7 years going to AA meetings in the 80's after I left the tower.

  I said to myself I was a recovering JW.

  I found peace durnig that time. And also quit drinking for 5 of the 7 years.

  During that time I came to believe in a higher power that I nor anyonelse could put their finger on.

  But it works and it works if you wrok it.