by JimmyPage 21 Replies latest jw experiences
Its only scary because the WTS makes it seem scary and because of the unknown. Family and friends that still talk to me are real family and friends. The ones that dont, well maybe someday they will. If so, cool. If not, cool.
Life is a great adventure. Go out and get you a double handfull of it while you can----- IP_SEC 2008
Sometimes I do. In hindsight, I think it would have been cool to pull off a successful fade as that's what the Depends-wearers in brooklyn seem to hate the most, that is, people walking away and not looking back. I could have done it too - my circumstances were such at the time that the elders would have had a very difficult time tracking me down.
When you DA, you're still defining yourself in relationship to them, still actively participating in their vast labeling system that they use to categorize every person that has ever had any sort of tie to JWism.
Otoh, if I had faded, then I would have always felt so awkward when I saw former JW acquaintances out in public or at work or whatever - 'do i say hi? should I approach them or make eye contact? what will i say if they approach me? do they know that I'm faded?' Those sorts of tricky social situations are very taxing for me, and by DA'ing I was able to circumvent all that.
The only regret I have about disassociating is that I didn't do it from the platform during a 'talk' or when I was reading the Wacktower during a Wacktower Study.
Not even a little bit....
Would do it again!
j
Yes, I regret it. Not for myself. I was sure about cutting my ties to this sick religious group a long time prior. But the negative effect it had on my close relationships with family and a spouse that were JWs was severe and in retrospect I wish I had just faded slowly away. Access to people gives you a sphere of influence. Once you have the scarlet letter so to speak, you are less effective and efficient in helping your loved ones out of the Watchtower because they *officially* cannot talk to you. But like IP SEC said, the ones who love you and really care about you will eventually come back into your life. And they have.
No Regrets!
I would not allow them to handcuff me at all. I left for conscientious, carefully thought out and well examined reasons. http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/topic/922/t/Letter-of-disassociation.html
Wife and pioneer daughter were still in when I officially left in Feb 2006.
Largely based on how they saw me unfairly treated, labeled and shunned for doing absolutely nothing wrong, both are now completely OUT. Each one has faded away (and daughter moved to new city altogether), but now, both are considering disassociating as well, to bring an end to all the little games they still need to play when seeing JW's or having old friends call/e-mail.
All of us consider what JW's do to people and their families as evil and sick. It's all about mind-control and manipulation to keep the rank and file in the dark to the true facts. We've lost a son and grandson to this religion. That is a huge loss to all of us.
Honest Information is the key to removing the chains that bind them. But most JW's like the chains and consider Honest Information as apostate and from satan.
It's very difficult to help others see the light and find their way out, but still worth the efforts to try, IMO.
I would just like to add that DAing verbally or in writing is NOT playing THEIR game. Playing the WTS' game is going in FS and attending meetings regularly. Of course, everyone has different circumstances and must work within them even if it means continuing to play the game while mentally DAing.
Dave
Dantheman says:..""When you DA, you're still defining yourself in relationship to them, still actively participating in their vast labeling system that they use to categorize every person that has ever had any sort of tie to JWism."
No, not at all.
When I mailed my letter to the PO and WTS it felt like I felt as if a HUGE weight had been removed from my back.
Of course the "conditional friendship" issue is uneasy at times, but the personal freedom is unbelievable.
No regrets whatsoever. Fading for me was not an option. I no longer am living a lie.
The Claw.
