Hey folks, you know another way of looking at a Kingdom Hall beleive it or not, is a public speaking club. In my opinion, and I'm a born in, I was enrolled early in the minisrty school. Was it the same for you other born ins?
This means that this building is a club, in which you are trained to be a public speaker. My assessment is that the audience is coaxed somewhat, into giving a heavier applaude for early beginners. But is it real feedback, or audince politeness. To be honest I was a guy in High School with a lot of homework, and I always waited to the last hour sometimes, to prepare my talks. I guess the fact that I could do this gave me some confidence, but does that mean I'm good? Not necessarily. Did you really feel you were trained well to give talks? How would you honestly rate yourself? Did you ever give a big talk at a district convention? Did it make you feel powerful, scared, disassociated somewhat?
For me as a born in, I beleived what I was teaching, this gave me conviction. Did you really beleive what you were teaching?
My family is mostly male and we always gave talks, so maybe it even got a little competitive. I was winning public speaking contests at school, almost every year since grade one, so based on outside data, I would have rated myself as very good..... then.
To be honest I havn't spoken in 25 years. I know I could still do it. But who knows, mediocre to good? I never gave biggie talks, or hour long and I am amazed at folks who can take over at the last minute, when somebody calls in sick. I would say thats gotta be some pressure.
Are you women glad you never had to do it, or did you want to? If it wasn't a public speaking club for you, what was it? Were those presentations a humilating stifling of your real abilities, or did you really see that as being your place?
If you ever seen American Idol ,you see somefolks who no matter how awful they sound, they think they sound great? It's a self dellusion.
I've come to reverse my thinking on the matter with regards to the hall, somewhat. What the hall is also training you for, is subjection, and order, and no fire and brimstone. Does mean charisma wasn't possible, and that the more you subject yourself to the higher talks, the more in subjection you become to the style they wish of you. Bible talks are a serious busines you know. Your material is all important. If you joke too much, they won't take it serious. What makes you even think your jokes were funny? If you look back now, were they?
Sorry I like taking things apart. The last thing anyone wants in a Kingdom Hall is to be bored to death. But wern't we all bored to death? If you think about it, there's definately ego gratification in here, for a real dull environment. A real male dominated enviornment, a real Rutherford constructed, ego enviornment. Where the biggest illusion may be our own self agrandisement.
The Pecking order for public speakers consisted of Rutherford at the top. I would imagine the ego dynamics change, as you climb the pyramid. ( No pun intended)
Remember Freddies 75 speech..... People were in awe! But the truth is, no one understood a friggin word of his typical atypical nonsense. The garblings of a crusty old nutbar! To be honest it was his material. What could be more exciting than everybody dieing in 1975, and you moving into their empty homes. No need to answer all questions. Just a few things to ponder.
...OUTLAW