Someone in my family died this week

BonaFide

So I am sitting here crying, I am a pretty emotional guy. I have been a Witness all my life, so this is so hard. First, this is my immediate family. And second, I know that the Witnesses don't have the truth, so what about the resurrection?

And now I am online with you all. I mean some of you are great, and I feel like I know you, maybe I do, but this is the worst day of my life. I can't read what I am writing. I didnt visit my father like I should have, it made me too sad. So I heard from my brother, not a witness, that he was going soon. So I raced over there, I am not sure he recognized me. I kissed him and said goodbye. The next night I didnt sleep. I knew. I raced over there again and I saw my sisters car outside. So I knew. I went in and gave him a kiss, his skin was cool. This is bad, I cant take this. I know others have losses too. He was a good person. Never a witness, I judged him all my life, and then when I told him about the witnesses a couple of months ago, he didnt understand me. I thought I was so great, and my father was a good person. Not a witness, I judged him and I feel like trash. I used to preach instead of visiting him. I didnt know.

He was proud of me, but I am not proud of myself. And I have no family, because when they saw my car outside my fathers' assisted living place, they drove around and around, like then times I saw them, and stayed away until I left. Yes, my immediate family. I am single. So I have no one. No one. That hurts so much. If you care to read my previous posts you will see why. They think I am an apostate even though I still preach because I ask a lot of questions. And they think I sinned, which I didnt. They treat me like crap.

I feel guilty and sad and then a couple came to encourage me, and they talked about the resurrection. The only way I can cope is to pretend that the resurrection on earth will happen, its kinda easy, and then I can stop crying a little. Otherwise, I realize I wont see him again. They are so sure though, and they did cry a little with me, they care. They keep on calling and visiting and bringing me food.

Ok, well I thought I wasnt going to go online and say all this, I should be more adult, but this is so hard. dont know when I can go online again.

OK

BF

BurnTheShips

I am sorry to hear this BF. I can't imagine what it must be like. I think you will see him again. I hope you find consolation during this time. I am sure your father would want the best for you, fathers love their sons.

BTS

BabaYaga

Beloved BonaFide...

I am so, so sorry for your incredible loss. There are no words at a time like this... or at least words never seem adequate.

My thoughts are with you. There is no doubt in my mind that he is indeed proud of you. You should be, too, and you will be in time. I hope that he has found peace and joy... and it is my belief that he has not left you at all. You can still talk to him. He will understand you now.

Love and strength to you,
Baba.

hubert

So sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes in life. Hubert (((((hugs)))))

Barbie Doll

Sorry to hear about someone in your family died. Just last week someone in my family died she was only 46 years old.

There is nothing we can do about it, I know I will miss her.

With deep sympathy and understanding and the sincere hope that time will bring comfort and help to heal your sorrow.

alt

compound complex

Dear Bona Fide,

As already mentioned, fathers love their sons - regardless. My father's kindness and patience and understanding are what I try to imitate now toward my own kids. I remember very well how I was at their age. I relate to so much of what you say.

Please be assured of our love and concern for you. I dealt with the loss of my dad not too long ago and, to my surprise, survived ... stronger and all the more assured that his love transcended my once unpredictable nature.

Hang in there and try not to isolate yourself, apart from the times you naturally would want to be alone.

Love,

CoCo

mrsjones5

" He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man."

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

So sorry for your loss

Josie

oompa

((((BonaFide)))))........so sorry for your loss...i too am an emotional guy...so i understand a bit...and have lost loved ones...it will be an adventure for you, and your loved ones, and me too...there is just no answer for what happens after......so hang in there........take care.........oompa

AK - Jeff

The only words I can say is 'So sorry for your loss' - though I know it is not enough. It is hard. You will get through. Condolences. Peace. Jeff

Awakened at Gilead

You are not alone. Check your inbox...Pls call me

Someone in my family died this week - I am not doing well