How bad IS this religion on a relationship?? (page 2)

Honesty

Run Tank, run.

Run, run, run.

Don't look back, Tank.

Run Tank, run.

Tank, you sound like a great guy. I'm sorry that you are hurting and thinking that this is your one chance for love. You ask our advice and opinions, but no one ever listens to advice when it comes to love. Even so, you asked, and here we are.

Do you want to know how bad this cult is on a relationship? Have you READ the entire section called "relationships"? Ask anyone who is married to someone who is in and ask them if they'd do it again, after what they have learned.

You think the gal you love is just a normal woman, but she is not. She is brainwashed, and a member of a high-control cult. There may be no hope for her to ever think for herself. If you have children, she will let them die for lack of a blood transfusion. Indeed, she WOULD LET YOU DIE for lack of a blood transfusion, too.

You deserve better. Keep in contact as a friend, if you must, but don't even attempt that without reading Stephen Hassan's book "Combatting Mind Control".

Love and all the best to you,
Baba.

jamiebowers

To add to what everyone else has said: 1. If your children are molested in the congregation, it will be covered up and not reported to the police. 2. If you are deemed a spiritual danger to her, she'll be encouraged to divorce you, however, if you want to beat her up on a regular basis, that will be okay. 3. She will expect you to go door to door, get baptized, progress to ministerial servant, elder, etc. INHO, find a good therapist, break up with her and never see her again, and figure out why you are willing to settle for someone who CAN'T POSSIBLY LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.

ex-nj-jw

Why is it that the JW expects the other party to give up and make changes to their life? What does the JW give up and if you have to ask or expect someone to give up something or some way of life, is that really love?

nj

happy1975

In a word? FATAL.

Happy

FlyingHighNow

It has such unrealistic expectations and standards for both women and men, it sets people up for bitter disappointment.

-Tank

Thank you for all your replies ladies and gentleman.

I do not even really feel bad about this, this time. I offered to compromise a great deal.

I offered to:

Move.
Find a different job.
Read with her.
Help her study.
Not question her beliefs.
Not ever make her feel guilt.
Just be a loving partner.

Evidently this is not good enough. I told her the other night, you ask me to give up so much, but yet, you feel you should not have to give up anything in YOUR life, while I give up just about everything in mine. She said if she was to make any kind of compromise to her life, it would be her giving things up, but she just couldn't explain it, "it just would be"

I truly believe if both people are willing to compromise, it is not giving up anything. Compromising is not giving up on anything. You make choices to help each other out, and that in turn helps yourself out, and in the end, it can work out. I believe ANYTHING...ANYTHING, can work, if you have two people, who are willing to compromise, you can make anything work.

Seems to me her biggest fear is, she would get in trouble from her congregation for having a "worldly" man, and that she would then lose the privilege of being able to go door to door. She would also never hear the end of it from her congregation for being in a relationship with a worldly man. Once a JW is married, if it is to a non JW, do they actually encourage you to divorce that person?? I have not heard of THAT, but I have heard they are pretty strongly against it, and try with the guilt trip all the time.

How do you tell a human being "OK, you can only fall in love with certain people, and if it just so happens to be that you do the human thing and fall in love with another human who is not in our religion, to bad, so sad, spend your life lonely and without them"

I do realize, me coming back, and asking for help once again, makes me look like a fool. I understand that. I know everyone here must be thinking "why doesn't this guy just leave already, there is so many other woman out there, why is he letting himself get kicked around like this?"

I need to say for my own dignity, that when we are together, or talking on the phone or whatever, and religion is not part of it, it is absolutely incredible, just a awesome relationship. I can't even find the best words to describe it, but when she is not trying to pressure me into converting, it is the best feeling I ever get in the world, and I am not ever happier than I am in those moments. That is just something I want you guys to know, so that you understand my motive here. If I give up this woman, I give up on love, and ever having love in my life again, she is just amazing.

At the same time, I have to stick to MY OWN guns as well. I will continue to offer my compromises, but beyond that point, I just do not think I could do anything else (become a baptized door to door JW)

sass_my_frass

Take a deep breath, and read these words: if the condition for your life together is that you help her feel good about her religion, it isn't true love. My husband nearly did the same for me, early on when it looked like I would reject him otherwise, but he stood his ground. I'm really glad for that; both of our lives would have been horrid if we'd had to dance around the things I thought I knew and hoped he backed me up on. It would have slowly destroyed our marriage and wasted many years of both of our lives. Neither of us would have been happy with what would have to eventually come out as a farce.

If you think that's your love story, knock yourself out.

wha happened?

seriously bro, U have a better chance of selling pork in Israel than a chance of a normal relationship with this person. Move on and lick your wounds elsewhere. You are nothing but future manure to her.

How bad IS this religion on a relationship??