I guess this time of year with the holidays my thoughts gravitate to family and for me it's usually a time of reflection on how my relationships have been going with my family . Thinking about what I want to accomplish or avoid in the coming year regarding family relationships. Thus I thought of this question in my thread as a way of reflection on my life ; and thought it might help some of you reflect as well.
So in answer to my own question : I feel that my relationship has somewhat improved with my father over the years , not a lot , but with my own aging - I understand him more. He is 83 , was always a stoic elder , not too conversational ( unlike myself ) , like some of our fathers , I always knew he loved me - but he has never told me. I stopped trying to please him by my late 30's as I knew my goals were different ( didn't want to become an elder ) . He had trouble being emotionally affectionate because his dad left him as an alcoholic when my dad was 12 years old . And I came to understand why he is the way he is. So what I've got with him in a relationship is about where it's going to be - I accept it and value it for what it is. We have a quiet respect for each other , but it's not real expressive. He knows I love him too - I tell him occasionally , but it's hard when you know they won't say it back. But he knows I care.
My mother is a different story. She is 81 , always the conversationalist - I turned to her as a teenager because she really listened to me. She would help me analyze things , dissect situations to death, and help me form opinions on life with a sense of humor which kept me sane , civil, and very much grounded in dealing with the various challenges I would face in life. She has always freely said she loves me , and any person who has dealt with her knows she is an engaging personality and honest in that you always know where you stand with her. In simple english - you can read this woman , she never has been one who plays mind games with anybody. Never leaves you hanging wondering where you stand. A joy to be around. And as you can guess - my relationship with her has only grown better like fine wine . Outside of my wife and son, I consider her one of my best friends also.
Both of my parents respect my 5 year fade from the witnesses - and never question me why I left. They know my reasons and leave it alone. So I'm interested in hearing about you folks ! How have things gone in your life with your parents ? As you have aged - do you understand them more ? Do they understand YOU more ? Have the relationships improved or regressed over the years ? As always I look forward to hearing your interesting experiences ! Take care. Peace out to all of you , and have a very happy new year ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper