Danger found on JWD!!!...........

by oompa 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  AllTimeJeff

  Oompa

  I haven't commented too much on your ordeals, because I try to stay out of the advice business. But I know that you are going through hell, and I think of you often.

  For me, when I first left, I spent all my time on Ronnie's board on Yuku, then came here. Both places were invaluable to me as I left.

  Then, I just needed to be away. I am back on these boards more then ever lately, for my own reasons. I don't need these boards personally as much. But I do feel responsible to help in whatever way I feel I can.

  I feel you about how much time these boards can suck up though. It's all about finding what works best for us. Hang in there!!
• 

  SnakesInTheTower

  I go through phases... when JWD was to close, I thought..good....I should move on.... then I signed on to JWS when it opened... after an initial burst of posting over there, I post less and less, but like this forum. I check in every day for a little bit..mostly reading. Now that JWN is online, I will probably keep hanging around.. OTWO kinda said it right..though its disturbing that it might take me that long to purge the JW out of my head. I signed on to a couple other forums where exJWs hang out...one for werewolf..another just to keep in touch with those who left JWD/JWN.

  for me, I think until I move out of this hellhole of a town that I live in...and in fact out of this region, I will have constant reminders around me... territories I have worked (hell, territories I drove and then made maps for) in 3 diff congos... running into dubs I know at the store trying to guilt me back... I wont find real peace until I change scenery and go where no one knows me as a former dub.

  I have few friends at the moment...and most of those are from this and other forums. I have a couple people out in the real world that I trust that are not dubs....... I am in a no-man's land that way..most dubs have dumped me. It is taking longer than I thought to rebuild a social circle..then I realized how small it was in the first place. Sad.

  Oompa...unlike you I only have my JW mom to worry about... and she lives 10 hours away.

  Peace to you..and I hope one day your whole family is outta the cult.

  Snakes ()
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  oompa

  I wonder if I am the first to post on jwd or jwn from this particular building where my young son works? Even though he has some professional skills...he gets to work as a waiter in a VERY special, really big...uhh...restraunt. Anyhoo...i made it two days off of jwn!!...but have the withdrawal shakes this morning...so thought i would reply some...

  Quirky: Bastards!!... There are many other things you have written about that I would love to comment on but my time here is limited tonight.

  ahh yes...Bastards!!...so appripro (sp?)........and i am now curious about what else you want to say....and thanks....

  Cameo-d: Meh. You'll be back in a couple of hours.

  ha ha ha Cameo...i made it two days!......

  TooktheRedPill: There is no better way of describing how this Forum has helped us! When your own blood, your family, just get scared

  when you talk, and their reaction is to "let the Elders know", is when you realize that "the Truth" (tm) is really a cult.

  well thank you cameo...i see you can really relate....and ya...i still struggle a bit that my wife and elder/dad turned me in for being on this site...i felt like a kid who had done something very very bad....i was a bad seed......i actually ran away from home for five days!!...just like a kid

  Aligot Ripounsous: Oompa, is it your 5000th post that makes you so effusive ?

  well my first response was Hellno!....but quickly realised i had no clue what effusive was...so i had to go to Merriam-Webster...EFFUSIVE: 1 : marked by the expression of great or excessive emotion or enthusiasm <effusive praise> 2 archaic : pouring freely..........so YES to number 2......i did pour freely my thoughts....but not with excessive emotion or enthusiasm......i have done that on MANY other threads though........5k just caused me to have a moment of reflection.....and i felt sad that i had 5000 posts and still had so many issues......but glad that so many here had helped me so much.......and i also realized that i had never really done a post that told my story.......btw..that is a heck of a name you have and now have to look that up!! But it is for each of us to decide what our boundaries will be in the exit process.

  Frank75: But it is for each of us to decide what our boundaries will be in the exit process.

  I really liked your entire post......but this part is so true....and i kinda went there near the end of mine...no one should be criticized for where they are in their exit.....or where they stay in their exit......thanks...... i hope to respond to some more of your comments later...gotta run........oomps
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  aligot ripounsous

  that is a heck of a name you have and now have to look that up!!

  On my very first post Crumpet asked me, so just look at the second one.

  We both learnt something ; I fist thought of Talkative but found it not very kind, so I looked up in the thesaurus of the french-english Robert & Collins dictionary and found that Effusive, IM foreigner's opinion, carries the emotion that your post embodies. Best wishes for managing your family situation. Fortunately for us, both my wife and I keep the nosy ones in the congregation at bay... and the latter does it back in kind.
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  parakeet

  Hi, oompa. I've been away from the forum, er, net, for the better part of a year. I found that eventually the posts become repetitious (though still heartfelt by the posters. I'm not criticizing.), and I drifted away. Having a grandchild has been a wonderful distraction away from the net. But I still like to check back in now and then to see how you and other posters are doing.

  Oompa, I guess you've found that freedom, though a wonderful thing, doesn't always tickle.

  parakeet, of the easily-distracted class
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  FlyingHighNow

  II hope to slow down now with my posting…I have many things to deal with outside of Cyberworld that I have really been neglecting. hope to slow down now with my posting…I have many things to deal with outside of Cyberworld that I have really been neglecting.I hope to slow down now with my posting…I have many things to deal with outside of Cyberworld that I have really been neglecting.

  I am going to get rid of the internet because number one: it's expensive. The second reason? Because between JWD, MySpace and Facebook and all the research I do, I spend too much time here when I need to be doing other things. The library internet is free and has a time limit! and it's better architecture than my place!

  Oompa, mates need to try a little harder to understand each others' needs. I know your wife is still snowed, but there comes a time when the connection of the hearts has to come into play more than the delusions of the mind.
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  oompa

  otwo my friend: I look at my life in the JW's as them being my lifeline. Not a gameshow lifeline, but more like
  an actual rope to hold on to for my life as I dangled over the cliff. I trusted my rope because
  Jehovah was holding it. Later, I find out that WTS kept me from seeing that the ground was
  only inches below my feet. They deliberately kept that from me so I would continue holding
  on.

  that is just pure poetry...thanks for such a sincere post....

  Starting over: My wife has her JW life, and I have my life with other friends, and now my wife is comfortable being around my friends too, just as I am around the JW friends who still accept me. She will go to my friend's (an apparently now OUR friends) houses to have dinner, is willing to go on vacations with them (haven't done that yet but plan to this year) and only draws the line at birthday parties and holiday stuff.

  I think that is at least what i hope to have .....i can give up holidays and stuff too.....but how long did it take to get her to this level??.......

  BabaYaga: the bit about the elders not even letting you see the letter that the Society wrote to you is absolutely creepy.

  Oh YA!!...it was freaky weird!!........and wouldnt ya know...confirmed my worst fears and my research....thanks elders and wt letter writers...

  Truthsetsonefree: I find I need this place, or something like it. Its okay so long as it doesn't replace RW. This board is a way of dealing with that through learning from and sharing with others who are going through the same things. Its the "whole association of brothers " I guess

  Exactly...whole association of brothers...lol...it is a small club isnt it....but more loyal than jw pseudo friends, we should talk more........oompa

  Nathan: As a result, a great crowd of those leaving the Watchtower fold find themselves feeling kind of empty. They are missing some of the cognitive baggage that most of their neighbors cheerfully lug around with them day after day.

  well i dont know how "cheerfully" they lug it, but i get your point...the empty lingers more with a mate still in imo..........

  Hopeforothers:

  I don't know how one can move on if you don't have the friendships you have lost, one mate still in and you will always be alone. You can

  never really be excepted again in the jw world unless you go back. Can you still build a happy relationship..I don't know, i guess you just try but you do need friends otherwise its a lonely existence.

  For me the board has helped me move on, but I love all the close friendships that have come along this year...there is an understanding that only ex-jw's can understand.... If it wasn't for being here I think I may have continued in the same direction I had been in the past 10 years.

  losing lifelong friends...that you played in the sandbox with is just a nightmare...and yes...unless i get back in to even a minimal extent...most will be gone for me......but what impressed me so much was what you said about being stuck for 10 years...this shows the wonder healing power of JWD...just awesome the change it helped you make!

  Ladylee: oompa I hear ya loud and clear. After living in a desert it is refreshing to come here and drink in the info and support from the posters here.

  LOL ladylee....you do sound kinda Watchtowery there!.............

  Alltimejeff: and I think of you often...But I do feel responsible to help in whatever way I feel I can.

  thanks jeff...i think of many here as well, esp when so troubled about family issues like A@G right now.......helping others helps us i think......
• 

  Quirky1

  Oompa, Since my departure I have lost many freinds and I lost the ones I had prior for becoming a JW. So now, I do not really have any freinds to speak of, besides a JW couple that still come around from time to time despite my stand against the WBTS. So, the WBTS has claimed all of the freindships that I had previously and during my indoctination. The only association I have is a few work mates and a few non-JW family members but the relationship isn't the same as having a true freind. Someone you can talk to, play golf, or go hunting with, etc..

  When my world was shattered learning the "truth" about the "truth" I really started drinking heavily, even tho I was drinking a lot anyway. The collapse of my life as I knew it really took a toll on me physically and mentally. The WBTS also took a big piece of the relationship I had with my wife. We were on the brink of divorce for several months. All I had to do was say the word. So, I can relate to an extent to what you are or have gone thru even tho I wasn't a born in. I really do not know how I would have handled it being a born in and come to the realization that all you knew was bogus.

  I really hate what this religion has done to my life, it might as well have killed me. And it may have.
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  Witness 007

  Sounds like Oompa is turning into an "in-active Publisher" I will call around with some "encouragement" and stick my boot in your butt! Nah, seriuosly take it easy Mate....as for me I have built a toilet and kitchen in the computer room so I can be here 20 hours a day....I'm always here! It's a sickness.....save yourself Oomps!
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  oompa

  More from Jeff: Then, I just needed to be away. I am back on these boards more then ever lately, for my own reasons.

  funny, for about a year i was here a ton and posting 11 a day...then quit almost totally for three months...like i did not need it anymore...now for three months posting lice crazy again!........i wonder if it is common for others here to go through spells..

  Snakeytower: I have few friends at the moment...and most of those are from this and other forums. I have a couple people out in the real world that I trust that are not dubs....... I am in a no-man's land that way..most dubs have dumped me. It is taking longer than I thought to rebuild a social circle..then I realized how small it was in the first place. Sad.

  yes snake...it is sad...even my young hunk of a son..now df'd 6 years!...told me very somberly that he only has df'd friends still and wishes he could make other friends.......so for some it does take quite awhile....even his grandpa wont speak to him....but the only other friends i have are df'd or found on jwd...or are business related.......

  FHN: but there comes a time when the connection of the hearts has to come into play more than the delusions of the mind.

  wow...a second poet on this post!...very nice...but she does not know she is deluded??j...so how does that work exactly?......

  and btw all...especially you active JW's just checking us out...i know we call you lurkers and that seems kinda creepy...but i noticed that although not many have posted on my ridiculously long post...that almost 900 have view it!...and for me that is odd i think.......i hope most are still active and doubting, and that my story will help you in some way.............oompa