by Elsewhere 80 Replies latest jw friends
Dude, you were played! She had something more important to do than you, but wanted to keep you on the line for an option if other things don't play out. Respect yourself and lose her.
Any guy who does this to a woman also needs to get cut from the rotation.
That sucks. Instead of enjoying what could be a once-in-a-lifetime chance to enjoy Cheech and Chong together, you're mind is split, waiting for her to show. How was the show?
Now it could be that she texted you because she's a coward and didn't want to interact with you when she told you she wasn't coming. Or because she thought it would be less disruptive to the show to not have to force you to the lobby just to tell you that.
There's just not enough detail here to guess at what's going on. Others seem quick to dismiss her. But real emergencies do happen and sometimes, new relationship or not, you have to take care of priorities and put other things on hold. If that happened, she should have told you what's going on.
Did she say why she was running late? Is she on-call? Did she have a work situation to deal with that she thought she could resolve, but it kept taking more time? Some other crisis?
You obviously don't want to be a pest by calling and calling, but not returning your call can happen. Maybe she's bad about listening to messages (a problem I have). Does she have a roomate that might have listened to/erased the message and forgot to tell her? Maybe she feels really guilty about missing the show and is scared to face you. Is it her cell? She could have left it at home. I did that twice last week.
If she's not answering the phone, wait a while and call from some other phone so that caller-ID can't identify you to her and see if she picks up.
Either because I've been swayed by others or because of the info you've provided, I'd kind of have to agree that she stood you up for no good reason.
Take an honest look at the situation. Sure, you talk a lot, but is that because she needs a friend to dump her baggage on? Or because she's interested in you? How much of the conversation is about you and not her? Maybe she only considers you a friend and doesn't want to lead you on.
If she had a good reason to be late, she should have explained why. But you haven't mentioned it, so I'm assuming she didn't. Could be something she's embarassed about. Couldn't find an outfit to go out in that looked right. Couldn't line up a babysitter and hasn't told you about her 8 kids yet. Doesn't own a car but doesn't want to look pathetic and her friend who was supposed to loan her one never showed up. She was supposed to meet you. She didn't ask you to pick her up or come to your place. That says something. Maybe she's got a husband or boyfriend living there. Do you call her at home or on her cell?
The other reason, as some have said, is you were the second choice. Might be another guy or might be her girlfriends begging her to come with them instead. Vs. you, which she might only consider a friend that she's worried about leading on.
So, she made her choice and a promise to take you out to dinner so you wouldn't feel bad, but doesn't intend on keeping it. Or will, on a night when she doesn't have "better" options available.
Put some brand new batteries in your BS detector and see what she has to say. Proceed with caution.
> Instead of enjoying what could be a once-in-a-lifetime chance to enjoy Cheech and Chong together, you're mind is split, waiting for her to show. How was the show?
The show was awsome!
However it would have been much better had, as you put it, my mind not been "split". You are right, that did lessen the show.
> Put some brand new batteries in your BS detector and see what she has to say. Proceed with caution.
My problem is that I always assume the best in people. Don't worry... I'm learning.
Everyone:
If you have an opportunity to see the "Cheech and Chong - Light Up America" show, do it!
Thats just totally rude not to show up when you went to the trouble of buying and paying for those tickets.
I would not call her back period, even promising dinner, gee that is just unexceptable behavior..
hope4others
She texted me tonight and in exchange for agreeing to go out with her again she must send a nice flower bouquet to my desk at work.
I won't agree to go out until it arrives.
Maybe she should include tickets for Cheech and Chong and plane tickets for the next city on their tour and hotel, rental car and eats. Because that is what it would take to give you what you lost.
I look at this way, she was wrong for doing that to you Else. Some women are just that way, they like to play the field no matter who gets hurt in the long run. Me on the other hand was raised with a little more self pride than that. I went to school with this one girl who dated every guy in school from freshman to seniors she didn't care. She messed with this guy's mind thinking that she was only dating him, well to find out his whole team had her. Needless to say she dropped out of school when she found out she was pregnant for the 3rd time and she was a junior and had already had 2 little ones at home. Women can be players just like men. You just don't hear about them very often.
Yup... which is why I want to see flowers on my desk before I'll agree to anything again.
Then, should we go out again, she must come to my place and we'll go from there.
Stand tall, Else. Makes me think of the Rolling Stones song: Under My Thumb.
I stood up only one person on a date, He later became my husband.
Be fair warned!
