Family is shunning us.

by AgentSmith 18 Replies latest jw experiences

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  AgentSmith

  Mrs Smith and I have faded away for many years. We knew the day will come that we would be questioned directly what our stand is.

  This past holidays we were confronted by our JW family. We told them the truth, we are not JW's anymore and that we go to any church that strikes our fancy. We were told we are apostates, and told to get out of their house. A short dramatic confrontation, and it was all over.

  I was very angry, upset and I lost my cool. Mrs Smith handled herself very nicely. We said what we could to make them see some reason, but alas....

  After all this time I thought I would be better prepared, but the feeling of hurt and anger still got me. I feel betrayed, this is supposed to be my flesh and blood. But then, I know that they are being told the same thing, we betrayed the orginization and how we have 'attached oursleves to the darkness' etc etc....

  Rather walk alone with honesty, than stumble along in crowd of lies.
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  LouBelle

  Agent Smith - breaking away from family members is very difficult. It pulls at your heart strings, it goes against all that is natural. It is difficult to prepare for that - I don't think one can - intellectually you can process it but once it actually happens, and the family comes out and tells you to go, or that you have done wrong, the betrayal stings.

  My throughts are with you. After the hurt, comes healing. And it's better to walk alone. It's happier too & I'm living proof of that :)
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  Dismembered

  Greetings AS,

  Kudos to you & Mrs. Smith. You'll both feel better soon.

  Dismembered
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  sacolton

  You stood up to what you believe is right. That takes courage! Congratulations on your step forward. Hopefully your family will come to terms with your decision.

  Stay strong.
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  oompa

  Agent, i am so sorry to hear that. may family has not shunned me.....yet, but they will no longer engage me in any bible related subject and have made it clear why. I have been sucessful to an extent in leaving by explaining what i have learned on a few things, and that these things have hurt me, and for now, have caused a serious loss of faith. Loss of faith happens and is talked about in the Bible and the entire subject of yesterdays WT study was all about how us "lost sheep" are supposed to LOOKED FOR so we can be helped (like that happens!). You may want to as your parents why they view you as apostates instead of lost sheep. The article even mentions how kind comments from old friends (parents?) could encourage us with just being nice.........

  dont get me wrong...i dont want help getting back in....but the kind part should apply (but the holidays and church attendence are prob. a deal breaker for your folks)...so you you are further OUT than me...and WTF cant we all have the freedom to choose without such horrible consequences?!?

  btw....how old are you and do have childeren unless that is too personal...............best wishes and good luck.................oompa
• 

  AgentSmith

  This happened about 3 weeks ago, with some time to reflect....

  I feel much better now since I don't have to measure my words anymore. You tend to tip toe around subjects and that is not fun and sometimes a lot of work.

  If any communicating gets done in the future, I can 'say it like it is!'
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  WuzLovesDubs

  That initial "pulling off of the bandaid" hurts like a bitch. The pain subsides then the anger subsides and then you feel sadness and loss, but you see clearer that they are doing this because like us, thats all they ever hear...leaving the Borg is leaving Jehovah. And you are now with Satan because everything is black and white. I think we ALL know that if the Society suddenly said they didnt have to shun us any more...theywouldnt. There would only be a hand full of zealots who would insist on continuing to do so.

  We who have lost family to the machine feel for you. And we are glad you are here to talk to folks who understand. When I have told people who were never JWs what my JW family and friends do to us...they DONT BELIEVE IT. Because it is just SO against human nature to allow anything to come between you and your family. They always say things like..."well why dont you compromise?" There is NO compromise.

  hugs
• 

  troubled mind

  I said to much over the holiday visits too .....since then every time I call my son he is short and curt with me . I am hoping in time his hurt and or dissapointment will subside and we will be back on good terms .

  I hope the best for your family too .
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  AgentSmith

  Oompa, I have children, small enough to not know the inside of a KH. I am 42....

  Thank you everyone for the kind words. We will be ok. We have friends like you....
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  sacolton

  Hey, I'm gonna be 42 next month! Hang in there, bro!