I was told I was naive for saying that I'd never cheat - ever. But I meant it honestly. I guess my question is, can it happen to anyone? Is everyone capable of infidelity?
Nic' - waiting to be disillusioned.
Is it naive to believe that you will always be faithful to your partner?
by nicolaou 37 Replies latest social relationships
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dinah
Nic, not everyone. But according to statistics the majority will.
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drwtsn32
I believe I can say with certainty that I would never cheat. Cheating requires an action; we have control of our actions. So if you are determined for it never to happen, it doesn't have to.
In a happy marriage I don't know why someone would want to do that. If the marriage is bad just end it.
Hopefully some hot model won't give me a drug that makes me lose all inhibitions, that's all I can say.
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nicolaou
according to statistics the majority will
The majority? Seriously? more husbands and wives will cheat than remain faithful?
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yknot
No I don't think it is naive!
I mean why get into any relationship if you go in thinking it is all gonna fall apart later down the line?
Had hubby not crossed a line, I would have never had this running list of plan Bs in my head. I would have been faithful for life without a doubt.
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Elsewhere
Studies show that 40 - 60% of all people cheat.
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eyeslice
To answer the question. Yes it is naive to believe that.
It is realistic to understand that to make a relationship work and last requires hard work. If you do and you are blessed with the right partner then you will always be faithful.
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nicolaou
The act of unfaithfulness surely reveals the dishonesty that already existed within the relationship. If you are unhappy and unfulfilled (enough to seek excitement somewhere else) at least have the guts to be open with your partner about how you feel.
Maybe the relationship can be saved, if not, move on. I'm not unsympathetic, I know it happens all the time and for all sorts of reasons but I do think it's possible to promise fidelity and mean it.
Nic'
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undercover
Even if you think you'd never cheat...your thinking only of your current status.
Things could happen in the future that would change your status, your opinion, your trust, your everything. I know someone (no, not me, but a close friend) who had a great marriage. He never even looked at other women. He was completely faithful. The marriage was going great.
But something happened. More and more distrust entered the relationship. Nothing he could do would appease her. She became obsessive and distrustful...and he had never done anything to warrant the suspicions. She became a bit unstable. He still loved her, but their relationship was failing. She accused him of infidelity. The elders were called in. They heaped all the responsibility on him. After a long time of dealing with being accused and mistrusted, he met a girl that he became friends with. The rest doesn't need any explanation.
He was in the wrong for doing what he did, no question...but in a way, he was driven out of the relationship. It was bound to happen no matter how much he thought he would always be faithful. Something happened that pushed him into making a bad decision. He thought he was finding freedom but it only made matters worse...but that was the state of his mind at the time.
You never know where you'll be or what your circumstances will be.
It's not naive to believe that you want to always be faithful, but it is naive to think that you're immune from circumstances that could lead you to temptation...
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daniel-p
Very well said, undercover.