Is it naive to believe that you will always be faithful to your partner? (page 3)

John Doe

A lot depends on how you define cheating. Is looking at porn cheating? Is phone sex cheating? Is thinking about someone other than your wife for most of your time cheating?

nicolaou

FHN: you could never imagine thinking of anyone but your mate or love, then something or circumstance changes and it happens that you are thinking of someone else

You're so right, we're all human. Still, if you've reached that point then be honest about it - or at least try to be. If your relationship has run it's course end it with grace and give your partner some dignity before jumping into bed with someone new.

Promising to remain faithful is NOT the same as promising to always be in love. I don't think it's naive to believe that you can remain faithful.

Nic'

FlyingHighNow

I don't think it's always a good idea to tell your spouse you are thinking about someone else. I have had a husband and a boyfriend tell me when they were thinking of other women. I'd honestly really rather not know. All this did was cause me a lot of pain. Thinking of someone else doesn't always mean the person will cheat. And every guy I have dated or married always ended up regretting having let me go. Sometimes, the grass just looks so yummy on the other side of the fence. Then they eat it and it gets familiar and mundane or is filled with stickers. And suddenly one remembers how good the grass is on his/her side. And one good thing has happened: curiosity has ended. Hopefully.

But cheating happens for many, many reasons. It's too complex an issue for a black and white answer. Nic, if you have a wonderful, kindred relationship with a mate who feels mutual, then it is possible that neither of you might ever have the desire for a taste of forbidden fruit.

chickpea

if one were not to believe it, how could one possibly accomplish it?

wizardca

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

So what defines faithful?

Is fantasizing over another person or going to a "Gentleman's Club" crossing that line?

StAnn

Going to a Gentleman's Club is crossing the line for me. But I think it is something that you would have to discuss with your spouse before you do it. If your spouse feels that it is cheating, you don't go.

Stann

wobble

When I married my dear Wife at the age of twenty it was with the belief that we would be together for eternity !

But temptation is always there, I managed to resist many fantastic situations over the years,you would not believe !!, because of feeling like "St Anne " said, God would be so upset with me.

But then I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have. I did not act on it, but I know that my conscience was SO tested,my resolve almost gone,not because of lust or a bad marriage but because of this crazy thing called love. Jeez what is that all about ?

My wife and I are still together after 38 years, but it was a close call,and all my fault .

I was naive at twenty,but I still hope we will be together forever.

Love

Wobble

aniron

To how many things has anyone said "I would NEVER do that."

But somewhere down the line, whether tomorrow , next week, next year, or when ever.

But when the. shall we say, the "temptation" arises - You do it.

All it needs is the opportunity and to some extent the circumstances, to arise.

Of course if we are talking about being unfaithful to a partner.

The other factor to take into account is the "persuasivness" of the "other" person you may meet.

I can say "I will NEVER go sky diving." because its something that will not come to me and tempt me.

But if I meet a woman who looks, speaks, acts in a way , towards me, that arouses me. Then we are talking about something different.

To say "I would NEVER..." is being naive. Once the reason, motive, opportunity present themselves .... who knows.

minimus

I know some old folks that remained faithful since day 1. But these days, it's accepted that living with the same person til you die is statistically improbable.

I think you have to be compatible, especially in a sexual way, to not "want"" to cheat. ALL men look at porn. If a wife or girlfriend freaked out over it, either the guy will sneak or find somebody else that will not be destroyed by it.

zagor

I've been in a long term relationship for a number of years and stood my ground, so I think you can. But the biggest temptation is not so much what is available outside of marraige but what is not available inside. If your partner is too cold physically (unless they are physically handicapped) regardless of what you try to make it work then I guess you have an option to either make love to your hand or have someone else do it for you.

Is it naive to believe that you will always be faithful to your partner?

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