An old dub 'friend' writes to ask 'What Happened?'

by willyloman 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    If you really want to tell him why you left, you should do it in person, and with only him present. Don't do it over the phone. Elders have been known to pretend they are the only one on the phone, but then have other elders/witnesses listening in on extensions. Put nothing in writing.

    They need two witnesses to execute you. If you don't want to be executed, then take my advice. If you don't care, then none of that matters.

    Farkel

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I did not know you were not DA or DF, I don't think I would say a thing.

    purps

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    If you grant no interviews, then don't be interviewed. I would be suspicious.
    My contacts don't call for some odd reasons (afraid of me, I guess) and I would
    just dismiss the call if they did. There's no harm in meeting/phoning and letting
    him talk, but there's really no purpose for your good in revealing anything.

    I would say, "No thanks" to any meeting. If you don't, I recommend just letting
    him talk. Definitely don't put anything in an email if you want to be left alone.

  • sspo
    sspo

    I left 2 years ago, making sure i would not get DF for apostacy, just faded away.

    Now when someone calls to check on me and they want to know why i stopped going

    i tell them i don't beleive in the bible anymore.

    They usually don't have much to say after that. Don't write anything down or say anything against the watchtower

    especially if there are two witnesses.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Only one person so far has asked me "What happened ,why did you stop going to meetings ?"

    I told him it was for my personal mental and emotional well being . I said that I felt there was to much pressure to be perfect as a witness, and it made me feel never good enough .

    He then asked "WELL are you happy NOW " and I said "YES,very much so " .

    Short ,sweet non-confrontational . They can not argue with what you personally FEEL ,unlike doctrine issues .

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    You don't have to say anything if you don't want too - nothing happend is a perfectly reasonable answer, and if he can think ouside the box he may just figure out what that means.

  • ThomasCovenant
    ThomasCovenant

    Hi

    My friend Veen, a fellow poster here, has been asked this by his former Witness 'friends'.

    His answer is, I think, the best I've heard:

    ''I don't think you want to know''

    If they ask why........

    ''Because if I tell you, you'll want to leave too''

    That way you haven't given them any information at all but will force them to confront whether they really want to know. Most won't.

    As regards other posters advice on only speaking face to face I whole heartedly agree. Nothing in writing or by phone.

    As regards face to face, if someone asks then I am convinced the only way is to tell them straight as I feel a moral obligation to tell them.

    But only if they have responded to the Veen reply of course.

    Thanks

    Thomas Covenant

  • Clam
    Clam

    Willy if he's "all in" as you say it's probably better to err on the side of caution and maintain your no interview policy. If you've only seen him once in seven years, if you don't see him for another seven, then it isn't exactly going to leave a big hole in your life is it? Let us know what happens.

    Clam

  • primitivegenius
    primitivegenius

    thomas has a great answer i think. no details............... and the threat that if they knew they would leave that sinking ship as well. brilliant.

    its funny to me, witnesses will say that satan is the father of the lie, but then in their very own publication state that it is perfectly acceptable to lie to those who "dont deserve the truth" such as authoritys or basicly anyone who is not an elder lol. also perfectly ok for them to mislead you or pretend they are the only person on the phone, and what........... they can kick you out without you having your so called day in court. nice. you can pretty much guarantee that ANYTHING you say can and WILL be used against you in the back room.

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    a tongue in cheek response to
    "what happened?".....

    the light got brighter.....

    i actually told a pair of fleshly
    (god, is that EVEN a word) JW
    sistahs who were encouraging me
    to "return to the meetings" that
    i, and my family, were doing so
    much better since we were no
    longer marinating in that
    pervasive doomsday atmosphere.....

    they nodded their heads...
    with that stepford kinda gaze

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit