A Grieving Mother

Broken Hearted

I have not posted on this site in a while, Some of you might remember I am a non-JW. I have been in a long distance relationship with a JW from Massachusetts for last 3 1/2 years.

Here is my post, I had a daughter that Passed away in september from complications to a double lung transplant. This weekend I got a letter in the mail from a local woman and in the letter was two watchtower tracts. I was appalled and wondered if this was habit, do people in the congregations actually go through the obits ( where she told me she found out about my daughter) and send these out? She made mention where she read my daughter was a member of Mulberry First Assembly and went on to list scriputres etc. First, the obit did not mention she was a member the funeral was just held there becasuse it was the biggest place to hold a large funeral ( over 400 people attended). I was on the phone at the time I read the letter with the guy from Mass. My reaction to the letter as you can guess was not accepted well from him and we got into an arguement about my feeling that this woman was capitalizing ( might not be right word but my feeling on it) and using my daughter to get service hours recorded for witnessing through a written letter. Another teacher I worked with ended up losing her husband thanksgiving day and when I was talking to our guidance counsler today she said she also just recieved a letter almost worded exactly like mine. Is this something that is done or just in our area of florida? I can't begin to explain the anger that welled up in me.

beksbks

First, I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I can't even imagine. Second, I have never heard of such a thing, but I suppose any chance to witness is ok in thier book. If you go to a JW funeral, which I did a couple of years ago for the first time in 20, they take that opportunity to preach as well, it has very little to do with the person lost.

May I ask why your relationship is 3+ years old, and you are still long distance? Be careful.

thebiggestlie

I am so sorry for your loss. That is devastating.

i've heard of witnesses doing this and i too find it wrong and appalling. Using the death of a loved one as a way to pitch a religion is unacceptable. However I dont think the witness that sent you the tracks was intentionally being unsympathetic but merely wanted to "help" you.

JW funerals are pretty bizarre. 10 minutes discuss the deceased where as the other 30 are spent "selling" the ideas and doctrines such as paridise and that "god's organization" is the only means of salvation.

tbl

parakeet

Your instincts are correct. Dubs that are shut-ins often generate their required monthly service hours by handwriting letters (because it means so much more than a typed letter -- excuse me while I gag) to just about anyone. I never heard of their using obits before, but just like ambulance-chasers and other vermin who prey on the bereaved, dubs are attempting to use your grief to get their toe in the door in the form of a "Bible study" (actually an indoctrination via WTS literature). It's a revolting practice, and I'm sorry you had to endure that on top of everything else you're going through.

My sincere condolences.

carla

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your daughter. To be mourning such a loss and to have jw's bothering you and attempting to get in their time is disgusting. I have heard of jw's who regularly cruise the obituary columns and use them to get their time in. Maybe it is for those who cannot do regular fs? I don't know. They should be ashamed of themselves.

cameo-d

Broken Hearted,

I am sorry for your loss.

I can understand your wonderment of this JW contact. One of my friends got sucked in during such a time of vunerability and grief and has now given many many years to the org.

The higher operators of the WT know that times of grief has been a proving ground to recruit converts and that's why they gear literature to that "target market". But the lowly rank and file JWs think they are truly trying to offer comfort in the only way they know how.

I sometimes think these people mean well, but are just sincerely misguided.

I would imagine some don't care about the "time stamp hours"; some believe they are truly doing a service for mankind.

And try not to be angry with the Jws.

Pity them. There may come a hard day for them when they realize they were wrong.

Cameo-d

chickpea

i cannot begin to know your pain
but i wish you comfort from the
depths of my heart, having children
of my own....

there is little i could add to cameo-d's
post, except confirm there are sincere ones
who truly think they are offering you a lifeline
and a chance to survive armageddon in order
to be reunited on paradise earth with your loved ones....
i was low hanging fruit in a circumstance of grief
when they caugt me in their nets

a woman at the KH i attended lost a child @ 2 yrs of age...
she scoured the obits looking for other families who
had lost children.... it was her crusade ..... i know her
motivation was not a cheap ploy to get "time" ...

if she ever awakens to the truth about "the truth"
i know she will be utterly devastated

BluesBrother

When we were Witnesses we personally never did this, or encouraged it because it seemed insensitive opportunism that could have a negative response, but the WTS have recommended it and commended the example of those doing it, as these quotes show :

Still she has to do most of her witnessing with a pen. She finds names and addresses in the obituary columns in the daily paper and writes to some of these. How happy she is when replies of appreciation come!

Yearbook 1995 p47

I also read the obituary columns and wrote to relatives of those who had recently died, enclosing comforting scriptures from the Bible.

Aw.95 6/22 p23

snowbird

I'm so sorry for your loss, but that's the way it's done here, also.

After my mother's death, I received a note and a tract from someone who'd read her obituary.

As my Jamaican-born husband would say, I had was to laugh because my mother was a nominal JW!

Sylvia

crapola

When I was an active JW I would write letters to the families of those that had died but it was done with the best intentions in mind. I was only trying to bring comfort to the family. Even though this might have angered some people, I recieved many thank you notes and one long letter showing appreication for my concern for a stranger. So sometimes it does help to know that a stranger does have sympathy for other people. I'm sorry the experience left you feeling so upset.

A Grieving Mother

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