by Broken Hearted 18 Replies latest jw friends
I am deeply sorry for your loss Broken hearted, and I agree that it's a rather tacky thing to do. As bad as it is, the average Witness probably really thinks that they're doing the right thing by "giving you hope", since they are taught that every other religion and faith on earth is being run by Satan himself.
If you want, you could contact this person (I'm sure they must have left contact information if you wanted a 'free home bible study') and tell them exactly how you feel.
I'm from Massachusetts...grew up here as a jw. Writing letters to to grieving family was pretty common when I was growing up. There was a tract they used to send called "Where are the dead?" (or something like that) specifically for those who had lost a loved one. Jws who were infirm or couldn't get out would write a letter and include the tract, often using the obits for a prospect list.
Coffee
People who are grieving or going thru any major life trauma are the prime targets of cults. This is why they keep calling back even though you said "not interrested". It's a numbers game. If they catch you the week that you have a serious trauma, then there's a chance you might be off your game mentally, and willing to listen to their fantasy.
I am sooooo sorry you lost your daughter. :*( I wouldnt have any idea if I could live through the loss of any of my children.
As for the JWs using the obits for time...that was very common when I lived in Illinois. Particularly if it was really cold out and we were regular or auxilliary pioneering (having to put in a set amount of hours every month in the ministry) We would look up people in the obits in the white pages and call them. And if we didnt get an answer we would write a letter and use that dead ones tract as mentioned above. Not uncommon.
Later I regretted doing that. It was blatant ambulance chasing and we knew it was taking advantage of people who were emotionally very very down and vulnerable.
Im sorry they did that to you.
If you are not a JW and the JW is having a relationship with you...he is definitely in violation of the "bible principles" he is supposed to be living by.
Sorry for your loss....
Once had a Circuit Overseer who, on each visit, would dedicate one morning to "graveyard witnessing" - I kid you not. He'd take the car group to a cemetary, and when they saw someone visiting a grave, they'd wait for them to walk away and then pounce on them with a tract or brochure.
Horridly bad taste, glad I never did anything like that.
An elder recommended the use of obituaries for both witnessing and hunting for cleaning jobs when I was a pioneer. I never searched for jobs, but I did witness through the use of obits, because I really thought I was helping the person. So sorry for your great loss and the further pain caused by the jw's letter. Please guard yourself from further distress in this long distance relationship with a jw. He is violating the rules of the cult to which he belongs, and he will either keep it long distance or be forced to try to convert you.
Dear Broken Hearted,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your child. I can't even imagine the pain you have gone through and are going through. I'll be thinking of you ((hugs)).
Going through the obits was a common practice at my KH and also going through birth announcements and showing up at the door (or mailing) a bible story book.
Thanks for the replies, It sort of confirmed the feeling I had, I am angry, but not really at the woman, I have done enough research and read enough from here, and have experienced first hand some things from the long term relationship, that I know it is because they are so embedded with lies and deciets and that out of fear of man, (NOT GOD) that they do what ever the organization tells them to do. I think I will write this woman, tell her while I know she was meaning to do good the impact it made on me and I might even witness to her myself. Not that it will do any good, but you never know.
As far as the relationship goes, It has been a long 3 1/2 years, and I know that it is not going to go anywhere because of the religion. When we got into the argument over the letter, he made a comment I was scared to talk to someone else in the organization and I plainly told him I am not scared of much, I tell my boss off at least once a week, and I have taken down tag numbers of drugh dealers by walking behind thier car when they lived across the street from me, I am not the one scared of men in an organization more than GOD, and through his actions and ways over the last 3 1/2 years if JW was the only choice left for me I would not choose to convert because of the deciets and half truths I have witnessed through him and what he has done and been through with the organization. He has been disfellowshiped for last year ( nothing to do with me) . Why do I stay with him, because I do love him, and with what I have been through with losing my daughter at least there is someone there for me the only way I can deal with for now. I can live in my fantasy world and pray that my angel daughter will visit him in his dreams and help in a way I have not been able to. I will say her death affected him in a way that i was surprised that it did.
Dear broken Hearted. I am so sorry to hear about you losing your daughter. I wasn't going to post on your thread because this is about your daughter, and not my thread, but since your thread is about how j.w.'s use these kind of situations for proselytizing,(sp), I am going to tell you what happened this last August, because it relates to your story, also.
My niece and nephew lost their 7 year old daughter in a flash flood at a campground in New Hampshire. The day that the survivors, Mom, Dad, and 5 year old boy, came home, my wife got a call to go and stock up their refridgerator with food so that they won't have to cook when they arrived home.
So, my wife and two daughters (one who is studying with the j.w.'s) went to their house with a meat pie, salad, soup, and sandwiches to restock the fridge and leave before they came home.
My wife had the key to their house, as she babysits for them every week, so she was the first one to the door. In the door was the Awake tract! The June issue that talks about Noah and the flood, and how God will destroy the wicked in the flood !!! What a thing for a family that just lost their 7 year old daughter to read after a thing like that!
My wife quickly took it and put it in her pocket book before anyone else saw her. So, I would say yes, they will take every opportunity to get their time in, and try to get new converts. To me, this was about the lowest thing a person could do. I'm sure my j.w. daughter had nothing to do with this, but I'm not sure about a few others in the family who are j.w.'s.
Hubert
