These things are better left unsaid !!!!

by caliber 37 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  caliber

  dinah,

  you make some very good points not the least of which is the following

  recently EVERYTHING changed when one spouse left the religion. I think the questions about infidelity were more a "how do I deal with this distance I suddenly find between my spouse and I" question

  Fellow feel does go a long way... trying to understand the input people are looking for.. thinking out loud

  trying to cope under difficult situation ! In other words some people are really crying out.. what are my others options

  .. give me some idea's to run with ! Poor wording or bad wording (choice of words )does always mean a bad person or evil intent

  as I have proved on this very post.... my wording appears to say that child abuse should never be discussed here NOT my intent at all ..

  bad choice of words

  Cal
• 

  dinah

  Lady Lee stepped in to clarify things. Don't ya just love her?

  With child abuse so rampant in the organization, its important that we let people talk about it. Anytime anyone posts anything that seems to condone it---red flags go up there.

  But with all the faders and people who DA......these people lose all their relationships in one fell swoop. That is just WRONG. If I thought someone was my friend and they could turn their back on me that easily......I'd probably never trust another human being again. You would always wonder...."Is this friendship real?" "Is this love real?"

  IMHO, that third cord in the marriage is NOT God, it's the GB. And that is WRONG. It goes against everything Jesus said.....(Jesus made some really great points about how to treat each other---whether you are a believer or not).
• 

  oompa

  I LOVE this thread!.....(5) Talking about other posters in derogatory manner.......especially newbies.

  (6) Talking about other posters in a judgemental, condemnatory manner (leftover JW tendency).....especially if the criticism is made without having enough information to slaughter the judged party. And specially so if it is a serious topic.

  I personally feel free to post about ANY person i know....since there is complete anonymity on jwd. if anyone that i have spoken about comes on jwd....they will not know who oompa is......nor will anyone here know if someone has ever talked the newbie before. i believe lance and heidi are among the few who feel free enough to use their own name and show their own face.....Does this make sense to everyone????......oompa

  also re: calibers list:

  1. planned affair (or ANY question about them):........persons should feel to post about it.....we may be able to make the person see the harm it could cause in so many ways right? Maybe in ways the poster had never even thought about

  2 talking about a partner who one day maybe post on site or has a friend who does.............no way!.....that would be the end of half the posts on jwd........so many posters need to feel free to talk about family and friends....especially in anonymity!

  (3) anything to do with abuse of children...................absolutely appropriate!!!.....geeze caliber....some have posted here who were abused as children and gotten fantastic support here !!!!...............and air dirty laundry of any group that hides this behaviour!!!!

  (4) causing physical harm to JW's who call on you...............that should never happen!.....but if it does and it gets posted....look at the opportunity it gives us all show any lurker or newbie that it is HORRIBLE and we do NOT APPROVE of this dreadful persons disgusting behavior..........this help totally disprove evil things said about apostates in general.......there are rotten apples in any group and they can be exposed by us

  what would you add or maybe even take away from my list ?............so i would take away everything on just about any list......this idea smacks of censorship and is communistic or totalitarian or something jw-like....ya we need rules as to what to say or not say....

  about all I would add to the list is..........(1) crude, vulgar speech and requests for sex acts with another poster.........and threats of any nature

  now is there anything wrong with my opinions on the above lists????...respectful criticism welcome!!!
• 

  Lady Lee

  no problem cal I knew what you meant but just thought I would add my 2 cents.
• 

  shamus100

  I personally disagree, Oompa.

  Perhaps one day your wife will leave the cult - only to come here and see what an ass you have been behind her back.

  How many people have I met here that I knew in dubdom? Oh, about three. One went to MY HALL too.
• 

  oompa

  Thank you shamus for breakin one of the suggested rules.......if my wife did leave the cult....it would be very unlikely she would read back enough to know for sure who oompa is.....and also....if she did, and i had worked through this difficult time of trying to make this strange arrangement of a marriage work even though she will not come with me to marriage counseling....i know my wife well enough to know how it would make her feel...."omg....i cant believe i was that close minded....how did you hang in there so long"........i would own up to it if it ever came up, and i have nothing to be ashamed of by letting others know that even my counselor thinks that an affair could be ok under certain circumstances...(funny...have i ever even said i would consider that? or did i say "i now don't know what i may be capable of?").....maybe others can learn something about the advice of counselors...........and thanks for understanding................

  i thought about this thread on the way home and had an epiphany....and it made me warm and fuzzy......i realized that after reading probably at least 20 thousand posts after being here daily for over a year....that i have never read a single post of a serious nature where the person posting did not receive insightful input from at least some who post on the thread.....true, scattered among the support are a handful that only see what they want to see in a post...even if it not there....and we can also learn something from them.

  Cal...if you haves seen any, please give it a btt because this JWD is an incredible support group....most of whom really want to help their fellow jws or former jw's....Lady Lee...wise beyond your years and viewer of probably more than 150,000 posts.......have you or anyone else ever seen a serious topic thread where our fellow JWD posters did not give some wise counsel or encouragement to?....................if not..........is it wise to make a list of things "better left unsaid"?....i know that sound kinda watchtowery....

  but when i realized how many times i have been helped to see a way out....or make a better choice........it made me warm and fuzzy.....and ya....it always makes me feel good when either on jwd...or a pm or e-mail...i realize i have help another poster here....no matter what the topic..........................oompa

  funny but we had a poster recently with a very long thread who had not had sex with his wife for 6 years and was wanting it outside of marriage....he got some good advice too...........
• 

  shamus100
• 

  musky

  Negative remarks such as one would hear on a grade school playground about someone Else's comments. Probably better left unsaid in my opinion.
• 

  Finally-Free

  (2) talking about a partner who one day maybe post on site or has a friend who does

  This one can really come back to bite you in the ass.

  W
• 

  John Doe

  Talking about my massive love muscle is probably best left unsaid.