Has anyone lost a friend or known of someone who committed suicide over BORG-induced guilt?

by Alpaca 64 Replies latest jw friends

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  BabaYaga

  My dear friend took his own life after being disfellowshipped for the second time. His staunch JW family are hard core (and hard-hearted!) and shunned him mercilessly when he was ousted, even making him walk to the KH in the pouring rain while he was working towards getting re-instated.

  Can you imagine not picking your repentant child up for the meetings, much less when it was a torrential downpour of rain? How his parents can live with themselves is mind-boggling to me. I'm sure they still blame him for everything.

  For all of those who could not bear the pain that this organization inflicts:

  Rest in peace and light. I hope and pray that you have found the joy that was so elusive in this life.

  Love to all, (including those of us who have gone on bearing the loss of our loved ones)
  Baba.
• 

  Quirky1

  Sorry Aplaca..
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  Alpaca

  No problem, Quirks. Thanks.
• 

  Dagney

  I was thinking of Makena and Sabine's daughter. And there was also another young person from their area who took his life in the KH parking lot. Very, very tragic. Just awful.

  I remember suicides from when I was small, and many more throughout the years.
• 

  Alpaca

  Thanks, Baba...very sad.

  Dagney,

  Thanks for sharing the story. Do you think it was guilty feelings that drove them to it?
• 

  verystupid77

  I think that a lot of JW's think of suicide but do not talk about it. I have never done anything at all wrong but I have been called in the back room and ripped into many times for things I have not done just because of petty gossip that the stupid elders truly believed. This happened especally when I was young. One time the elders just knew I was smoking and they would not let it go. I never smoked never wanted to and this really offened me but the elders drug me in the back room many times. The last time they were so rude. Pointing their fingers at me telling me I was lying. I was so hurt, till this day I know they never believed me. I still wonder why??? I have still never smoked.

  Yes I have thought of suicide especally when you truly believebecasue the elders are so not kind. I came from abuive parents who put me down and the elder took over where they left off. You are never good enough do enough. It truly makes you feel like scum.

  I am on the way out and right now it is hell. So I can clearly see why suicide would seem like the only way out to many.
• 

  Alpaca

  VS77

  Thanks for sharing your feelings. It will get better.

  The BORG and its minions are true experts at grinding down people's self esteem.

  That's why so many people end up feeling unworthy and in utter dispair.

  You have a PM
• 

  troubled mind

  Three years ago this month a close friend of my son and our family commited suicide . This thread brought me to sobs as I recalled the phone call we recieved that day three yrs. ago .

  On the outside she was a beautiful ,bright young girl of 17 . Everyone that knew her thought of her as fun loving ,bubbly and great to be around . On the inside she felt ugly and not worthy to be alive .

  She had been raised in a divided household with a Jehovah's witness parent . She had made changes that year, and was slowly pulling herself away from the witness lifestyle . Did that have anything to do with why she took her own life ....I do not know . I wonder sometimes if she felt as if she could never measure up to the "perfect" example witnesses set for their kids ......Was it because she didn't feel good enough ? Did she feel she was a disappointment to her witness parent and sibling ??? Who will ever know .....I do know that her inner dialogue must have been conflicting enough to make her believe life was not worth living for anymore .

  Depression and suicide never happen because of one single reason it is multiple factors coming together causing such intense internal noise that all the person can think of is how to make it stop . The person does not think beyond the moment, only on how to get a moment of rest from this turmoil rageing with in their heads .

  I wish she could have known that depression is temporary, and that it can be cured . I wish she could have seen herself through our eyes ....as someone special , loved and too precious to be killed ....

  Her parents had sought out professional help for her and she was taking medication ......it just had not had enough time to really work for her .

  To this day her friends from school and work still post to her on her Myspace . They speak to her, and tell her what they are doing in their lives now . Some tell her they hope she is in a better place and happy now . Others say they hope she is looking out for them .
• 

  Alpaca

  Thanks TM,

  I knew this was a subject that has affected many but had no idea that it would have hit the nerve that it did.

  I also want to say to everyone who is participating in this thread that there are posters on here right now who are struggling with their own thoughts of suicide.

  Please, please, please....do everything you can to encourage them.

  I am not a mental health professional and I feel a little overwhelmed with what to say. I used to be an elder and ironically, this really makes you realize how arrogant the BORG leadership is because they instilled in us a belief that we were qualified, as elders, to counsel the brothers and sisters who were depressed.
• 

  BabaYaga

  To this day her friends from school and work still post to her on her Myspace . They speak to her, and tell her what they are doing in their lives now . Some tell her they hope she is in a better place and happy now . Others say they hope she is looking out for them .

  Troubled Mind, this brought tears to my eyes.